<p>If the college age minor students are driving, then no drinking, no exception. If they are staying over, then it’s not an issue. Although, again, simply being 21 or over doesn’t eliminate the risks of having even 1 or 2 glasses of wine and then driving.</p>
<p>I am actually surprised by what I am reading here, and would enjoy feedback from other parents. In this day and age, I would think that the vast - even overwhelming - majority of parents would not allow any drinking by underage teens in a party they are hosting. Am I really so out of touch here? Last night, my son and daughter came home from a graduation party (in Massachusetts) held for local friends of theirs at another home. (Daughter is 18, and has just completed freshman year at college; son is 17 and has just graduated from h.s. - but not the same H.S. that hosting teens attended, fwiw). Both kids vehemently denied that they had been drinking, but we both thought we smelled alcohol and our daughter was acting like she had been drinking. Our son in particular went to some length to concoct a story to cover for his sister. This morning, our daughter said that in fact she had been offered and accepted a drink, and that the parents hosting the party were aware that kids were drinking, some more than others, some not at all. I am very disappointed in our daughter for not being able to resist the social peer pressure and do what she knew was right and legal, and even more disappointed that these parents hosting a party would allow attending teens to drink without their parents’ knowledge or consent. I have a good mind to call these parents to let them know how I feel. I am happy that my daughter told me this morning what I believe (and hope) to be the truth this morning. I find this behavior on the part of the hosting parents completely unacceptable. Our daughter was offered a drink by another underage teen at their party, with, my daughter says, the awareness of the hosting parents. If this is a party I am hosting, I would feel very responsible to monitor who was 21 and who is not, and to strictly segregate the alcohol from the non-alcoholic drinks, with access to the alcohol strictly limited to those of age. Yes, it was my daughter’s primary responsibility to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but it was enabled and facilitated by the hosting parents not doing the right and legal thing. Comments? Feedback? Thanks much, in advance.</p>
<p>The parties we give revolve around our children (birthday and graduation) and alcohol has never been involved - even for the adults present. All the parents of my children’s friends must have been on the same page as the issue never came up. Maybe I’m lazy, but serving alcohol and then trying to monitor sobriety - or heaven forbid, deal with consequences of any sort - seems like way too much hassle.</p>
<p>“I once discussed this “introducing the kid to civilized and sensible wine drinking with dinner” concept with a friend, who said, “What would you really be accomplishing beyond giving him a taste for it?” I really couldn’t come up with a response. So far, the point has been moot for us. S doesn’t seem to want to drink, and actually has avoided occasions when peers did so.”</p>
<p>Each individual case will differ, but there is good population-based data on this issue. The introduction of early drinking in the home or community results in substantial higher rates of alcohol abuse, binge and heavy drinking, (and later alcoholism) in college.</p>
<p>And early drinking in Northern Europe? Much higher rates of consumption, alcohol-related cirrhosis, liver cancer, and alcohol-induced deaths, and massive amounts of binge drinking. (But not in those countries without a genetic predisposition - Italy, Greece, etc.)</p>
<p>If there is ANY propensity to alcohol abuse or alcoholism in your family tree (horizontal or vertical), introducing your kids early to drinking can be a recipe for disaster.</p>
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<p>I’d file a police report.</p>
<p>As a parent, I don’t want anyone offering my underage kids drinks. It is illegal. If you want to offer your own kids drinks, that is your own business, and your own risk. To put someone else’s kids at risk is really rude. </p>
<p>Risk is really what it comes down to. If you have kids that you really feel you can trust with alcohol, it may not be any big deal for you. However, if you have some knuckleheads that have made some poor decisions in this sort of thing, you should be taking that into consideration. </p>
<p>There are other risks that may creep into the picture when you start offering alcohol to kids still in the quasi adult stage even if they are of age. Someone we know gave their over 21 son a case of beer that they had gotten at some event that they did not want. The son took it back to college with him, served to some underage kids (they don’t tend to worry about these things) and one of the kids got drunk that very evening and got into trouble. The college followed the trail of the alcohol right down to the beer the kid had drunk even though that was the only culprit. So there was fall out from this. If the incident had been even more damaging, involving death or severe injuries or high monetary damages, it would be quite possible that the trace could have gone to the source of the beer, and if the pockets are deep enough to be worth suing, well… I don’t have to draw the picture. Sometimes it is not worth it to get involved in these things. As a responsible adult and parent, you should not want to be having any part in any misfortune that could occur, and with alcohol, it just does happen too often.</p>
<p>A friend of the family was always the kind of guy to try and be a “cool” dad, so when his kid was having a graduation party, he served alcohol to a bunch of teenagers. In the course of the party, a few of these intoxicated kids wound up in possession of a gun and were fooling around. Long story short, a boy from the area who was attending this party wound up shot in the head and died. The “cool” dad in this case wound up with blood on his hands and criminal charges, though I honestly don’t remember exactly what they convicted him of. The father of the deceased shops at the grocery store where my dad works, and my dad says he’s been a shell of his former self since he lost his boy. He’s still consumed with rage about the senselessness of it all, and how preventable the situation was, years after it happened.</p>
<p>I know this is kind of a cautionary tale of sorts, but long story short, as a college student myself, I’ve always found it really weird when parents knowingly allow their kids to throw drunken parties. My friends’ parents definitely wouldn’t fit anyone’s concept of ideal. In fact, a lot of them would be looked down upon by most of mainstream society. But not a one of them would have ever considered serving alcohol to minors.</p>
<p>I heard recently about parents who served alcohol but “took the keys” at their daughter’s coed sleepover. There was some sort of fight among one couple, and even though they’d been drinking the girl took her car keys and jumped in her car. The boy she was fighting with jumped in the car, too, and they drove away. They hit a tree and were both killed. Its not worth it.</p>
<p>In my town, we have that one family that always allowed kids to drink at their house, and provided the alcohol. Well, we did. Last month there was a party there busted by the cops, and at about 3AM, when all the excitement had died down, someone threw a Molotov cocktail at the host’s father’s car, exploding the thing and melting a significant part of their house and other cars. The cops simply told them that that’s what happens when you let teenagers drink.</p>
<p>My parents have always let me drink a little, little bit when I’m at home (I’m 18), but never when people are over, never out of the home, and never enough to get me feeling anything.</p>
<p>We had a weird situation where we had a family over for dinner, and the daughter, a college freshman, brought her own bottle of champagne! I didn’t really realise it was “hers” until dinner when she opened it up and poured a glass, and another, and another. Her parents were with us, of course, at the table, and I just let it slide because they were there and I felt that they had the authority over her, not me, and they brought it for her. Looking back I think if she drove home and got pulled over I’d probably be considered the “host” and be liable. Food for thought…</p>
<p>Our D1 has been offered drinks at family/friends parties since she was a senior in HS. She’ll take up on the offer from time to time, but she will never ask for one unless it’s offered. It is the same at home.</p>
<p>I don’t think there are that many parents willing to host drinking parties for their kids even if they allow their kids to drink at home. Whether a drinking party is sanctioned by parent or given by kid, your own kid needs to decide if it’s appropriate to go to the party and whether he/she should drink. If you don’t think your kid is mature enough to make that decision, then it’s up to you to do some homework before you let your kid to go to any parties. My D1 didn’t go to some graduation parties a few years ago because we didn’t know the parents. She did go to some where drinks were offered, but she didn’t drink because she was driving. I knew the parents, so I was comfortable it wouldn’t get out of hand.</p>
<p>Just another parent (of twin 19 y.o. sons) registering my experience here.
Long story short- I do not let my kids host parties, friends, with alcohol- no exceptions.
“the host loses the most”, etc.
We’ve had long, long, talks about it- I think they really understand that the law will hold us
responsible, if anything happens, and in our town we’ve known kids who’ve died, been injured, parents arrested.<br>
It’s ok if they drink at home,(in moderation) but not with their friends around.
They’re not happy about it, but they’re willing to abide by the rule.</p>