Well, this is what the OP heard from the parents (reply #5):
Lots of first go around parents don’t understand college admissions and how competitive it really is, and how GPA and pinnacle SAT or ACT scores aren’t enough. Unfortunately, I think the stress they put on their students is misguided anxiety.
OP: Do as they ask, and do it early. Then ask if you can throw a few others in just to see what happens.
At some point you will have to decide whether to apply behind their back if they say no. Scholarships require early applications usually.
I’m not for splitting up families, but if your choices are Harvard or working at Starbucks, I might recommend striking a blow for independence. If they really won’t bend, you will need to fend for yourself and your own future.
Some high schools require safeties. Perhaps a little white lie won’t hurt?
My guess is that this is the parents’ way of trying to force the OP to aim high and do his best instead of settling. They may honestly believe that if a smart student studies hard enough and scores high enough they will be admitted to an Ivy League school. The OP’s parents may see a plea to consider slightly less selective schools as a desire to slack off or as a lack of confidence. What they don’t seem to realize is that it’s not all up to the OP. Ivy League admissions are notoriously difficult to achieve, particularly when the applicant is in an overrepresented demographic (in this case, smart, high achieving Asian students from well represented states), as the OP seems to be.
If I were you, @mintokki, I would put this all in a respectful letter. Pour your heart out. Tell them you know they love you and you don’t want to disappoint them.
Then hit them with the hard truth. Give them some statistics culled from here and other admissions sites, such as the “three times as many valedictorian in the US as spaces in Harvard’s freshman class” statistic and the number of kids with a 4.0 or a 1600/36 who are not admitted. Tell them you’ll work your hardest to be admitted to the schools they value but you want to make sure you have options come next fall. Offer to pay the admission fee to a couple of likely schools and assure them that putting in an application doesn’t mean you are making a commitment to attend.
Hopefully a letter would give them some time to process what you’re thinking and feeling without launching back into the cycle of frustration and fighting you’ve been experiencing. Good luck.