<p>Agree NYC has changed so much in the past few decades. And, smart kids don’t take chances at night or in some areas.<br>
Right now, we have only OP’s info here. We don’t know more. We could look at this thread one way and say the parents are unreasonably limiting. Or, look at it through a different lens and say OP is insisting.<br>
Some posters say, well, it’s your choice, you will be 18. But, he/she is still dependent on the family to pay. That changes the equation. The idea of working enough hours to cover costs or even make a dent in transpo costs isn’t realistic. </p>
<p>Likewise, the insistence on a school where you fall into the 25th percentile is risky. It’s that same old “dream school” thing we hear about Ivies, NU, Rice, all the time. It’s not a plan. And, it’s iced by the not wanting a state school, in a state full of good options. </p>
<p>I also don’t have a clear sense yet just how OP would do in an audition. One of mine had 10+ years on her instrument, various audition music groups, performed regularly in the community- and still was told by her instrument teacher that she wasn’t of the calibre for a top music program. (It only starts with interest, it includes competitive performance skills, ease of picking up new music on your own and dedication to the hours- which, as the teacher put it, is far, far more than what you do at home, between lessons or performances.) And, the future in music also depends on the quick-learn. The phrase that comes up is “without rehearsal.”</p>
<p>There seems to be an assumption that, because JMU is less expensive, it’s a financial safety. Has OP run the NPCs? Had the money talks with the parents? Best of luck. But, the college choices have to take all sorts of factors into consideration- and fairly.</p>
<p>Serenity, I’m guessing you didn’t read the part about he wanting her folks to PAY for her college education, right? re:
</p>
<p>Parents, for the record, can ALWAYS SAY NO, whatever your age, when it comes to giving you money ;)</p>
<p>Lookingforward, it does sound like her private music teacher has given some direction to date on various programs, including a recommendation not to audition for Purchase based on the repertoire, which is part of my concern about the whole plan here. It IS late in the game for new pieces…but what was the private music teacher doing last spring re: getting ready for auditions, I am wondering…</p>
<p>OP, would you consider a gap year to work on repertoire and expand your number of auditions? Eg. were you similarly discouraged from auditioning at Eastman? If you weren’t accepted to an audition program, what would your plan B be? </p>
<p>I wonder if that extra year of working/saving/rehearsing might make your parents feel more comfortable about going out on your own, and in the end, give you more options to get the kind of program/performance education you want. (Sometimes its the parents who need the gap year more than the kids ;)</p>
<p>—JMU going to cost you possibly $200K-ish total over 4 years if you don’t get financial aid in the form of grants, and you’ll come out with a music degree…and will have gone to college far away from the major music hubs (NYC, Phili, etc) so won’t have been able to take advantage of valuable internships, fill-ins, etc.</p>
<p>—Need to sit down with Mom and Dad and ask them straight up “In addition to the $50K you’ve saved up for my college” how much else are you able / willing to pay? Not an easy question to ask for some families, but it needs to be asked so you know where you stand…suck it up and ask the question. I’m guessing that if they suggested a 2-year community college as one of your options that they don’t have the cash to cover you for a legit 4 years at a private college or out of state school (out of state tuition is pretty close to private school tuition). Remember that your parents need to save for retirement too.</p>
<p>—When their answer is something like “Well, we have that saved $50K, and maybe $5K per year more”, then you’ll know where you stand (ie, in-state public choices only or else take out big time loans). Public in-state universities are going to run you $20-25K per year room/board/books and private or out-of-state universities at least twice that.</p>
<p>—Then you need to look down the road at what you really expect to earn upon graduation. You stated that top music gig in NYC would pay $1,500/week, or $75K per year. Unfortunately that won’t happen as a new grad and also while it seems like big $ right now, believe me it’s really not in NYC. Music majors don’t make big $ unless you’re one in many thousands.</p>
<p>—Work backwards from your realistic end game. Example: I’ll get a music degree and likely make $30K per year. Therefore I can’t leave school with any more than $50K (?..need to figure that out) in loans or I won’t be able to afford rent / house / reasonable standard of living. Don’t dig yourself a big hole of debt that you can’t crawl out of after college. If you do and figure you’ll worry about it later, remember that government backed student loans ARE NOT dismissed in a bankruptcy like credit cards are.</p>
<p>Good luck w/ your choices. If I were in your shoes I’d do my best to end up close to a major city for internship / networking maximum connections, as a music career is a very tough thing to get off the ground.</p>
<p>Okay, I’m probably going to be very unpopular with a certain group of people, but here it is…</p>
<p>We’re talking JMU. It’s a nice regional state school. Lots of kids from Va go there that don’t have the grades for W&M or UVa or they don’t want the academic pressure. There is a lot of school spirit. There is a very large party scene…very large. So there’s that.</p>
<p>You aren’t being offered a scholarship. It’s a difficult location as far as travel is concerned as well as exposure to your major. The program is good, but this is not Jullliard, Peabody, or Berklee. </p>
<p>So, we have a school with a draw that the OP just really digs it…</p>
<p>however, the parents (being the benefactor) aren’t on board, there’s no benefit of scholarship, great location, or premier education.</p>
<p>Methinks the OP needs to sit down and find out how much per year the family can afford (something ALL students need to do), what the distance preference is, and make a list that fits within that. If you find a school with either a great price, great location, or great educational value, that’s outside your parents comfort zone, they may be willing to compromise somewhat. JMU has none of these benefits (and some drawbacks). I wouldn’t spend my efforts arguing this one. Get busy looking for other schools and save your bargaining for a school that has a real advantage for you.</p>
<p>A few other questions you might want to ask yourself: Do my parents have my best interest at heart, or are they just trying to submarine my plans? Do they truly understand my arguments and how much I want this? </p>
<p>It’s pretty clear your parents love you and would do just about anything to make you happy (music lessons, setting aside a college fund, etc). I’m sure they tried really hard every Christmas and birthday to give you what you most hoped for. It’s probably tearing them apart inside not to be able to give you the school of your dreams. Sometimes parents need to be brought up to date (so allay their fears … remind them that you’ll be sensible and won’t take unnecessary risks if allowed to live in a big city, learn to use mace, take martial arts, add a few extra deadbolts to your door, have them add a location finder to your cell phone, and call/text frequently–after a while you won’t need to be so extreme this), only go out in a group, etc), but sometimes they’re right. It’s hard to say which one it is here (probably a little of both). </p>
<p>If safety is a concern now, what will they do when you want to move to a big city to work? If they’ll be okay with it then (in 4 years), what do they think will change between now and then? It’s better if they loosen up the reins a little bit now (while you will be in the protected environment of a university–wherever that turns out to be) and you can gain a little more independence, because you ultimately plan to live and work in the city. </p>
<p>I agree with blueiguana, who stated it so clearly and succinctly: “If you find a school with either a great price, great location, or great educational value, that’s outside your parents comfort zone, they may be willing to compromise somewhat. JMU has none of these benefits (and some drawbacks).”</p>
<p>But I do think that for your own peace of mind that you should apply to JMU.</p>
Once you’re 18 its not hard at all. You walk into the recruiting office and sign up. End of story. No fights; or at least nothing they can do about it.</p>
<p>I see a lot of undercurrents in this thread. Parents don’t want OP to live in a city (even though that’s where someone who wants a living as a musician is likely to end up working), OP seems reluctant to put in the work to learn a few new pieces by winter, OP seems to think parents are obligated to pay for any school of her choice, I could go on but that a lot already!</p>
<p>If there is a trusted person you and your parents could talk this over with (your pastor, a relative) then perhaps you could come to an agreement. But I see it as 2 parties that have dug in their heels and won’t budge. So perhaps the enlistment option is the best choice. </p>
<p>On the downside you’ll be a bit older when you start college than most, but as you’ve noted it will make you financially independent plus it will give you valuable experience. And while you’d be older than the starting frosh, you wouldn’t have been living at home in the meantime so you’d have plenty of youthful on-my-own experience (and stories!). I’d say find someone who is knowledgeable about the military (and BTW that person is not the recruiter – find your own advice, and check what they tell you); I think, for example, you can have them guarantee when you enlist what your occupation will be or else you will be discharged if they decide once you’re in that you don’t qualify (see the band description at [42R</a> --Band Member](<a href=“http://usmilitary.about.com/od/enlistedjobs/a/42r.htm]42R”>http://usmilitary.about.com/od/enlistedjobs/a/42r.htm) and also look online for the info provided by each service branch such as <a href=“http://bands.army.mil/careers/[/url]”>http://bands.army.mil/careers/</a>)</p>
<p>I feel like JMU might be your “heart-set-on” school because you spent and enjoyed a lot of time there. You can easily see yourself there because you’ve stayed in the dorms, met the students, eaten at the dining hall, etc… (My D feels a that way about Brown because she did a summer program there.) It doesn’t mean that’s the only place that will make you happy, it’s simply the one you are most familiar with.</p>
<p>Spending some time visiting colleges closer to home, preferably overnight, preferably with music students/kids active in marching band, might elicit similar feelings about other schools. If you start with the ones your parents are in favor of, they may be really helpful about getting you there and helping set up such overnight visits.</p>
<p>Can’t hurt to give these schools a two-day try.</p>
<p>Serenity, she said she’d work part time to save enough to come home for holidays. That’s a good deal different than paying for the education. She would not be able to get sufficient funding in loans on her own without cosigners unless her package meant her only contribution was the 5500 in student fed loan available to freshmen.</p>
<p>However, blue iguana, she won’t KNOW whether or not she’d be eligible for a talent scholarship or not if she doesn’t apply and audition! This is where her parents would benefit from guidance. To minimize a music students debt, it’s best to cast a wide net in terms of auditions, because if one is deemed sought-after for the level of program, talent awards can be substantial, and there’s no way to know that without auditioning, being accepted, and receiving a package. Many times a student will find the net cost can be less out of state and or at a private than at a state school – that’s why students audition at so many schools. You don’t just need to get in – you need to get in AND have the lowest net cost possible. Some schools spend more on music recruiting than others, sone meet full need, etc. Since academically, her stats are not highly competitive, talent awards are her best shot to reduce the prospective cost of Pershing a music degree.</p>
<p>So in truth, her folks should let her audition there with the understanding that unless she’s awarded a generous package that’s less than in-state, she will not attend. </p>
<p>In this case, though, ya gotta play to win.
Which is why I had trouble with not applying to purchase. It could have been a very viable financial option as I regularly see posters on the music thread who chose to go there.</p>
<p>Thank you kmcmom, for what you said about how a music major should audition for lots of dif schools and not just all local state schools, that’s exactly my point. And you actually completely understood my perspective so thanks for that too because I only want to convince my parents to at least let me audition/apply to JMU as well as some other schools so that I can keep my options open. I understand that if I don’t get a good enough financial deal that I can’t go to JMU, i just want to be given the chance.</p>
<p>Go ahead and apply to JMU and, if you get in, see if you can convince your parents to visit the school and get acclimated to it. Good luck. Many students at my kids HS in NOVA go to JMU and most have very positive experiences there.</p>
<p>An underlying though - are your parents really OK with you being a music major? They don’t want you to go to a city, but why? They may be saying it is due to safety, but have you really discussed this with them? Perhaps it isn’t really about being in the city at all, but about being a convenient excuse to not let you apply at a school where you will have the best access to opportunities . Paying for music lessons through high school is one thing; supporting a decision to have music as your means of support is something else entirely. It’s a necessary discussion , particularly in light of not wanting to learn new material for auditions. If you really want to make it as a professional musician, you need to be in the right place, but also willing to do some significant work. If you’re not committed now to learning the audition material, how will you approach sub jobs where you have to learn the material with 2-3 days notice? b I just don’t see the commitment. Perhaps that’s what they’re seeing too. You’re not even fighting to apply to the schools with the best opportunities.</p>
<p>I actually did fight for them but they were all too expensive or too far away, for example for the longest time I wanted to go to berklee college of music, I also wanted to go to Johns Hopkins and all these other schools but my parents won’t let me. And I am very committed actually, but my teacher said that we should work on pieces I’ve played before so that I have a better chance of getting accepted to whatever school, instead of learning tons of brand new material. It makes sense too to audition on songs that you’ve worked on before so that you’ll be really good at that song and will have comments from judges to use as a reference (they’re all nyssma solos). I am definitely dedicated, sorry if i want to give myself a better chance of being accepted by playing a song that im good at. And I don’t see how you would know if I’m committed or not, seeing as you don’t know me. And my parents are okay with me being a music major, especially my mom since she can understand (she was an art major). For a while I considered doing music industry cause I’d probably have a better chance at getting a job but my mom was the one who encouraged me to be a performance major since she knows that that’s what makes me happy, performing. The reason they don’t want me in a big city is because they’re really protective and want me in a small town where I supposedly won’t get hurt. We have talked about me being a music major and my parents support me 100% with that decision actually.</p>
<p>And ctscoutmom, what schools would you suggest as schools with the best opportunities, given that they meet my parents’ requirements of: being affordable, being close to central New York, and in a small, safe town. And for me personally, I’d like to go to a traditional college (so not a conservatory), and a college with lots of school spirit.</p>
<p>Purchase was the school where I would have to learn new material for the audition, and like I said my teacher doesn’t want me to do that. I visited Oneonta but I really couldn’t picture myself there. I don’t want to go to a really small school in the middle of nowhere. I have looked at buffalo a little but not much since I don’t think they have a strong music program. At least I’ve never heard they do.</p>
because I only want to convince my parents to at least let me audition/apply to JMU as well as some other schools so that I can keep my options open. I understand that if I don’t get a good enough financial deal that I can’t go to JMU, i just want to be given the chance.</p>