When I was pg, my family went to visit family friends who had a daughter my age who had just had a baby. The couple says to my parents - oh, do you want to see pictures of our new granddaughter? and of course my parents say yes. Out come the scrapbooks! Well - let’s just say we saw EVERYTHING. My poor father was turning bright red, as he most assuredly did not want to look at this young woman’s, um, most private areas under any circumstance, much less one in which blood and gore were involved. We left and we were all very, very quiet and a little shell-shocked that we had seen those pictures. I finally broke the silence by saying - mom, dad, I love you, but I really don’t want you in the delivery room. They were - oh thank GOD!! We were afraid that you wanted us and we wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings but we have no desire to be there!
Yes, but now a generation has gone by.
A lot of today’s new grandfathers have seen a baby born because they were their wives’ Lamaze coaches. But most of today’s new grandmothers haven’t seen a baby born because they never coached anybody.
So if grandparents were in the delivery room, would it be Grandma who would throw up or faint and Grandpa who would cope with the situation gracefully? That would be an interesting gender switch.
All else being equal, I would prefer not to be in my kids’ delivery rooms. I think it’s a moment that should be between husband and wife, personally. But of course it’s no skin off my back what others do.
I’m a little skeptical on the coach thing. I delivered unexpectedly and early and had only made it to one Lamaze class. So the nurses told me when to push and then the dr at the end did the same. It was their job and it didn’t seem like anything that needed preparation for.
It is all different from our day. Most of the girls have epidurals now, so not many couples attend natural childbirth classes anymore. Until this thread, I had no idea that there were couples that didn’t want visitors in the hospital or the first weeks at home. That just hasn’t been the experience in my circle of friends and family.
Still plenty of childbirth classes around here. In fact, Prepping for Parenthood classes about childbirth, breastfeeding, sibling classes, infant CPR/safety, etc. are big business for area hospitals. There are even e-prep classes - online.
i wouldn’t think there’s any material difference between the rate of epidurals now and the rate of epidurals 20-25 years ago when we were all having babies. I’ll see if my spouse’s ob-gyn books / mags say anything on the topic.
My mom took care of almost 90 foster babies back in the 80s. So I was thrilled that she was willing to fly 2,500 miles to stay with us for six weeks after my oldest was born! She was a pure delight. I will never forget her kindness. She would get up in the middle of the night if the baby was fussy after eating. And we lived in a tiny townhouse that wasn’t too comfortable.
PG-Can you please also ask your H if the number of induced labors seems to be rising. It seems that I hear of so many girls being induced if they go more than 3 or 4 days late.
I have always been stunned by people whose husbands take photos of the baby crowning and who then show them around. No, just no. 
My mother had always maintained to me that childbirth was beautiful, while I had always said it sounded pretty disgusting to me. After my S was born, she said, “I have to ask you one thing. Was I right?”
I had to admit that she was.
Going more than 3-4 days late can be very dangerous. One of the saddest days when my daughter was in the NICU was when a baby was born about 1 week late. The mother had gone in for a regular appointment and the baby was in total distress, they airlifted the mother to the hospital we were in (from across town) but the baby, weighing almost 11 pounds, didn’t survive.
With modern technology, they pretty much know the due dates and there is no reason to go late.
@twoinanddone , my mom was over 2 weeks late with my brother, over 60 years ago. He was stillborn, and my parents insisted that the baby had a reaction to a penicillin shot my mom received, because shortly after the shot, the baby stopped moving. It wasn’t until I was pregnant myself that I realized what probably happened. It’s heartbreaking to see old photos of my mother, pregnant with my brother, posing with childcare books.
They darn well should be induced if they go much over term, or at the very least monitored daily. (I’m assuming they are well dated,). Have you seen the chart that shows the rate of stillbirth at x weeks? I have. It climbs precipitously after the due date. This is evidence-based medicine to monitor / induce.
Our (collective) mothers who went late lucked out (except for HotCanary’s of course, for which I’m sorry).
My second son was 6 days late and was fine. My doctors were monitoring things closely. They were talking about a C section (first was a C section because of complications) or inducing but I went into labor before that had to be decided. Hopefully , in most cases it is not “very dangerous” for a baby to be born a little late.
There’s been more than one occasion where H was monitoring a post-dates woman in his office and stopped office hours, threw the woman in his car and drove to the hospital (1 mile away) so he could get that baby out NOW. Even if husband didn’t make it there on time. It saddens me when you hear midwives / doulas repeat their schtick that “some babies take longer to cook than others” or “the baby won’t come til it’s ready.” With apologies to HotCanary, it’s not a pleasant way for the baby to go and I’m sure her brother would have preferred to have come out earlier.
That seems to be the case. I know in our day, they would let you go at least a week to 10 days late. My oldest was a week late and my sister went 10 days late. The last 2 babies I have heard about were both induced on or about their due dates. One was 7-2 and the other 6-8, so it wasn’t that the babies were getting too big. I guess they just don’t want to take any chances of something going wrong later. One girl mentioned to the doc that her in-laws were coming from out of state and he just told her to pick a date during her due date week that would work for them. There are 5 grandbabies between myself and 3 friends and every one was born via an induced labor. Maybe it is just a coincidence.
It seems that it is about 2 weeks plus past due that it is definitely considered an issue and cause for very close monitoring. Even for me, I was monitored closely after the due date but only went 6 days past the due date.
My youngest was 8 days late. I’ll take that over 6 weeks early any day!
According to my understanding, I was about 2 weeks late and was induced. My mother had TB that became active during the pregnancy, and I was getting bigger and she was getting weaker. In addition, I was a second child and there was an RH- issue before the days of rhogam.
Luckily, I am more or less normal. My mother used to say that having me took 10 years off her life–now that’s a positive message for a kid–but since she is now 92 and going strong I am skeptical, LOL.
I was actually 5 days late with my D, and worried the whole time,because of my mom. With my son, my doctor asked if I’d prefer to be induced, because I was starting to dilate, and it was close to my due date. So I called my husband and asked “Hey, do you want to have a baby tonight?” And off we went. I’m so grateful for all the advances in this field, especially for my daughter and my son, if they ever decide to have children.