Pathological Liars

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Have you ever met someone who just lied constantly? I have a co-worker who I have known for years to be a liar, but she just pulled a stunt that left me completely speechless. I can say with complete certainty that I’ve never seen this level of brazenness (is that a word?) in my entire life.</p>

<p>We were in the corridor standing near each other, both doing other things, and a third co-worker came over and asked her a question (basic, “how can I find this” kind of question because he is new-ish). She answered him and he left. Nothing to it. I know this because I was standing there. No sooner did the male co-worker leave than she started telling other people with offices on the corridor that he had “attacked” her (not physically) about this issue because he didn’t know how to do this thing and she wouldn’t do it for him. Involving “screaming.” One of the people she said this to was the co-worker’s direct boss, then she started calling up other co-workers, one of whom is the HR director here and embellishing the story. Nothing like that happened. Nothing. She made it all up. Out of thin air. </p>

<p>I may be totally insane (probably am), but I am convinced that she has convinced herself that this is true. I told her in front of the male co-worker’s boss that I was worried that she isn’t feeling well because what she said never happened. Most people know that she is a mess (she has been transferred countless times and the consensus in the office is that she has videotape of someone important in the firm in a compromising position) so she isn’t believed by people who know her, but some of the people she told are new and don’t realize how she is. There won’t be actual consequences to the male co-cworker because HR knows better than anyone how she is, but boy oh boy I’ve never seen anything like this. Absolutely nothing happened</p>

2

<p>My sister has a “friend” who does this sort of thing and it is fresh in my mind because her lying involved ME when I was up there a couple of weeks ago visiting. I had been told about this women’s behavior before, but had not experienced it first hand. This woman told my sister that I discussed my sister’s financial affairs with her in front of others, including my elderly mother’s aide! It never happened, of course, which my mother and the aide confirmed. It was truly frightening to me that someone would really create such a fiction out of absolutely nothing. My sister is trying to extract herself from the friendship, but it’s not easy because there are multiple layers of involvement through some organizations, etc. It is similar to your situation, zoosermom, because there were witnesses and the woman STILL created the story! I think it is a real sickness and possibly bipolar disorder.</p>

3

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You hit the nail right on the head. That’s what was tickling my brain. She knew there were witnesses (I wasn’t the only person present), the whole thing from male co-worker’s arrival to her telling people what she claimed had happened, all took less than two or three minutes. There was certainly not time for her memory to fail.</p>

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That stinks. At least this person isn’t in my private life, like your sister’s whackjob.</p>

4

<p>That is awful. I think I would report this to HR exactly as you saw it happen and told it here. I also think liars believe their lies and this woman sounds like she is a real sick puppy.</p>

5

<p>Why is she still there? What if she accused a client? You could easily lose business.</p>

6

<p>I had something similar happen to me. I’m the owner of the company, and the office manager was up at the receptionist desk plugging something in and she and I had a conversation. A long time employee was right there. She later told the entire staff I yelled at her and cursed her out. The next day after we met about something else (I didn’t yet know the first story) she came out and said I apologized all over myself to her. Then she said that after the next few meetings, that I cried and continued to apologize.</p>

<p>All completely made up. Obviously she no longer works here. She stirred up more drama in a shorter amount of time than anyone I’ve ever met.</p>

<p>Defend this person, put your account in writing to HR and to the employee being accused.</p>

7

<p>I honestly don’t know why she is here. This is the subject of major speculation all over this company. It might be a conspiracy or it might be as simple and crass as the fact that she is spectacularly beautiful, in the realm far from most ordinary people. She is bright and presents a fabulous impression until she speaks, but she doesn’t do a particularly good job, either. I just don’t know. She seems to have a sixth sense of lines not to cross, I’ll say that much for her. She generally only picks on people she views as powerless. At least that’s my perception.</p>

8

<p>She should be fired. That is really scary.</p>

9

<p>Nooooo! Don’t let her be fired!! You guys (and HR) know about her, and can limit the damage. Send her out into the innocent world and Lord knows what might happen. Keep her there! Consider it a mitzvah.</p>

10

<p>One person springs immediately to mind when I think of a pathological liar … my husband’s cousin. We say if her mouth is moving, she’s lying. It’s really quite sad as I believe this type of person truly does start believing their own lies.</p>

11

<p>Sometimes people are promoted “up and out” just to get rid of them. It’s easier than all the fuss that would be caused by firing, but it just displaces the badness. Document everything in case she, or one of her infernal situations, comes back to haunt you.</p>

12

<p>I am well acquainted with someone like this. It took me a long time to figure out what was going on. Now, I can tell when she is starting a story. I really don’t know how to deal with it. So, I’ve distanced myself from her. I don’t see her very often anymore. </p>

<p>It’s very sad, IMO. This person is fairly intelligent, nice looking, charming. I can’t understand why she does this. And people tend to believe her, too. Even those who should know better, who have caught her in lies before. The lies range from completely outrageous things (fake degrees) to everyday, inconsequential things such as phone calls that never happened, etc.</p>

<p>And yes, it does seem like once she has created a story that she has convinced herself it is real. There is some sort of disconnect from reality there.</p>

13

<p>Pathological liars are often narcissists. See if this fits.</p>

<p><a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>"…A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:</p>

<p>Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love</p>

<p>Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)</p>

<p>Requires excessive admiration</p>

<p>Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations</p>

<p>Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends</p>

<p>Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her</p>

<p>Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitude…"</p>

14

<p>In my Wall Street trading desk days when dealing with the Bigwigs I sometimes found myself wondering; </p>

<p>IS ANYONE HERE NOT A SOCIOPATH?!?!</p>

<p>[Profile</a> of the Sociopath](<a href=“http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html]Profile”>Profile of the Sociopath)</p>

15

<p>Sax-- That seems to be highlighting a certain political figure ;)</p>

16

<p>

This is her exactly. Totally doesn’t know her place but nobody ever puts a stop to it because of how she looks.</p>

17

<p>I agree with toblin. Narcissists are very sensitive to criticism yet extremely critical of others. They must always appear perfect or superior or infallible. </p>

<p>This person is more than that.</p>

18

<p>This is kind of spooky, isn’t it? I know one, too. He was dating someone dear to me for a while and I was so glad to see the back of him. Pathological liar and (I think) narcissist too. mstee describes him perfectly as she describes someone like this whom she knows.</p>

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<p>We all have our quirks, but people who are like this? It is like something from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. You can’t tell by looking at them, but after a while, you figure out that something is not quite right.</p>

19

<p>I had an ex friend who was like this. she is what I would consider the borderline personality. She is very charming, and fun. However when sheis close to you she can be very mean. She likes to boast and be the center of attention. she once told a story about something that happened to her when it actually happened to ME! She embellishes to put it mildly. Problem is she is highly intelligent and pulls it off, so others believe her. She turned someone against me and I was powerless to change it. The kicker was she was so competative with the kids, that it was hurting them, so I stopped the friendship.</p>

20

<p>i have through the years come to the conclusion people fall into 2 catergories:</p>

<p>1.antisocial (psychopaths)/ narcissitic / borderline type
2.neurotic anxiety/depressed type</p>

<p>on any given day I wish for just an hour a day I could be #1 type to make my work life easier, but my guilt gets in the way! I have a suspicion people on CC are mostly #2 also.</p>