<p>I also posted this in the College Life forum. I am curious what parents have to say.</p>
<p>I just got done reading an article in the local newspaper about a teen who died in an accident because he drove drunk. This 18 year old kid was partying all night and was drinking. He was going to go to another party at 4 A.M., but he couldn’t find the house, so he went to go get something to eat. The people at the establishment said that they were going to call the cops on him because they knew he was drunk. This kid then sped off to resist arrest, drove at a high rate of speed, and his car flipped over because he hit a drainage pipe. Fortunately, the passenger in the car was fine. The passenger even resisted medicare care (probably in fear that he would be cited for drinking under age).</p>
<p>People can leave comments by responding to the articles. What sickens me the most are these people that say that everybody drove drunk at least one time in their lives and that most teens don’t use caution. They also praised him that he was such a good person.</p>
<p>The only person that made the most sense was his friend. His friend said that he paid the price for what he did and that he wish he could have stopped his friend from driving drunk. He never praised his friend and never even said that he was a good friend to have.</p>
<p>What sickens me even more is that the school sponsored a memorial for this kid. This kid who drank underage, drove drunk, and endangered everybody else on the road.</p>
<p>Maybe I am harsh and don’t forgive people very easily, but what do you think?</p>
<p>I doubt anyone was praising this kid for driving drunk. They were praising him for who he was, and (of course lamely) excusing his behavior with the ‘everybody does it’ line. But don’t be hard on them. We’re talking about people (probably YOUNG people at that) who are in mourning.</p>
<p>Yea we shoulda just burned the body, erased every record of what he had done previous to that, and forgot all about that human being.</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is is that this kid is dead. Yes he made a mistake, i believe everyone realizes this (and the fact that it could have ended much worse), but we also realize he is not coming back to life to change what he did. That’s not a possibility. Ridiculing him would solve nothing, so you remember the kid as he was. The people he did touch while he was alive (perhaps he did do some genuinely good things in his life) want to celebrate the good things he did for them.</p>
<p>You can choose to ridicule him and his action, but ridiculing the people who want to remember him for the good he had done is going a bit too far in my book.</p>
<p>This young man did not live his life in 8 hours, but in 18 years. Why constrict our only reaction to the death based on that small time period?</p>
<p>This is why teens never learn. What the family should have said is that I am glad his friend didn’t die and that he didn’t endanger anybody else on the rode.</p>
<p>I never ridiculed him. The problem I have is people saying that “I bet you have drove drunk” and “every teen drives drunk”. They are shedding light on the situation.</p>
<p>The article should be something that people can learn from. A teen, who maybe has drove drunk before, can say that they will never do it again.</p>
<p>I didn’t say you did ridicule him, I only stated I personally would be fine if you did. I did say I had a problem with you ridiculing those who sponsored a memorial for this kid.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but if someone can’t make the connection that driving drunk = death from this article, I doubt they would get it if one hundred people said “This kid had it coming to him. Good riddance” or “Yea, shoulda stopped you, but I was too busy partying dude…”</p>
<p>I don’t care that there was a memorial, I just didn’t like that the school sponsered the memorial. The school shouldn’t memoralize somebody who drank underage and drove drunk. The school memoralized a criminal.</p>
<p>The point that I made was that the greatest argument you can make against drunk driving was probably made in the headline of the article. This kid died. </p>
<p>And, answering your initial question, yes I think you are being harsh.</p>
<p>Sometimes you need to be harsh. I hate reading article of these teens who drive drunk and die. It is preventable more people should take action. </p>
<p>Sometimes one mistake can kill you. It doesn’t matter if you did 50 things right, 1 mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life.</p>
<p>The headline of the article was “Teen dies in crash”.</p>
<p>What the article should have said was “Underage teen driving driunk dies in crash”.</p>
<p>Maybe if headlines were stated harsher, teens would get a better sense of what can happen to them if they drive drunk. Even thoigh it is obvious that you should never drive drunk, some teens don’t get a sense of the bigger picture until they read real word articles.</p>
<p>Memorials benefit the living, not the dead. He can’t change anything and can’t be made to feel one or the other about what he did. His friends miss him, his family still loves him - the memorial is for them. Perhaps attending a memorial for a young man who died needlessly, too soon, will bring home a point to one of the living there.</p>
<p>It is also sad that the parents let their kid out on the roads at 4 A.M. I am sure it is not the first time that this kid drove drunk. It is just sad that he never learned from his mistakes.</p>
<p>So what if the school sponsored a memorial. Do you think that by doing so they are sending a message that anyone else who drinks and drives, and gets killed should do so because they, too, will be memorialized?</p>
<p>Memorials can be a place and time for healing; that doesn’t mean the healing is all Pollyannaish. People will look at that memorial and feel anger and sadness at this kid’s stupidity. They will also remember who he was aside of the stupid act he committed. When we don’t go through the anger, we can’t heal. Perhaps the school just wants kids to heal.</p>
<p>Yes, you are being overly harsh. The kid did something stupid and illegal and now he’s dead. It doesn’t make his life any less meaningful than your life or the lives of your children. His life had value and should be acknowledged with a memorial. A memorial is for the living–a way to come to grips with the reality of a loved ones passing.</p>
<p>For one moment, place yourself in the position of this kid’s parents, relatives, friends, and schoolmates. God forbid this happens to someone you know. Do you disregard the good in someone’s life because of a stupid decision? Are you so perfect that you’ve never and will never make a bad decision? </p>
<p>Did this kid make a bad decision–yes. Will his parent’s have to live with this hurt for the rest of their lives–yes. Am I condoning drunk driving–of course not. But I am not going to judge this kid based on a stupid teenage decision. As parent’s, we pray everyday that our kids will use the lessons that we’ve taught them.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, sometimes are lives on one bad decision. If a student cheats and gets caught, it will live with them for the rest of their lives because it will be on their permanant record.</p>
<p>There is a big difference though between a mistake that affects only yourself and a mistake that afects other people. </p>
<p>This kid endangered his friend and the other people on the road. His death affected his friends and family.</p>
<p>He made a fatal mistake. He is still someone’s son and friend. People are mourning. And, yes, many teens (and adults) have made this same mistake and most are still alive. It is a serious problem, but being so hard-hearted about this young man’s death is inappropriate, in my opinion. I feel sorry for you for having this much bitterness about the fact that people want to express their love for the person they have lost.</p>
<p>The kid already got, in effect, the death penalty for his mistake. (A whole lot more severe a penalty than what he would have been exposed to if he’d lived and been arrested, particularly since nobody else was seriously injured.) So, he’s been “punished” as much as anyone can be for what he did, yes? If he was, as you say, a criminal, he certainly “paid his debt to society.” But you want more? The idea that his family and friends shouldn’t have a memorial for him is way too harsh; I agree. I don’t think too many people are going to be encouraged to drive drunk by thinking that “gee, I might get killed – but the good news is that if I do, there’ll be a memorial for me!”</p>