<p>I agree that we should not be commenting negatively on each other. Compliments always welcome. LOL.</p>
<p>I am learning from CC that not everyone agrees with me and hardly anyone sees the world exactly as I do or is interested in exactly what I’m interested in. This is helping me be less thin-slinned (I’m very!) For instance, no one was interested in my (in my opinion) relevant description of how silly the AP grading process is. This was explained to calm parents who couldn’t understand how child could get very high SAT score and “only” 4 on AP.
No one was interested. Oh well, something for me to learn, how to deal with that and not be embarrassed and keep posting.</p>
<p>About LB. It does seem that CC at times can neglect to take cultural differences into account. What is emotional abuse in one culture is perfectly normal and accepted in another. The first time (and actually every time) I read the phrase “textureless math grind” I cringed.</p>
<p>DS took Suzuki violin. No way could I motivate him to practice as much as some of the really lovely and talented Asian girls his age. I remember saying to one mom, “It’s amazing that both of your children are so interested in violin.” She answered, “What do you mean interested? I say do, they do.” These kids are fabulous violinists. </p>
<p>Perhaps I had a little envy of these parents who could demand that their kids give their very best. (Just a little. I agree with posters above negative effects of pressure.) I have kids who can’t be pressured. If I ever tried, they would get very indulgent and patronizing of me, humorously making it clear that that would never work.</p>
<p>So, first we need to be comfortable with our kids and what we do, then compassionate with others, even when we think they’re wrong or even destructive.</p>
<p>P.S. My son did FINALLY get to be concert master of his orchestra (after former girlfriend, younger, out-practiced him) ONLY BECAUSE his good friend Ja-Rei went off to Philips Exeter! LOL. DS will NOT be a professional violinist. Ha!HA! This is fine with me, and very fine with him, but if he had been interested he would have needed a fanatical (by some people’s standards) level of commitment. He’s a pretty laid back guy.</p>
<p>Thank you CollegeMom,
Veteran CC posters- ladies and gents out there, let’s all behave toward each other like we are just that- " ladies and gentlemen". We have a lot of knowledge and experience about the college application process to offer parents and students new to the process. Let’s remember why this website was created, how much we learned from it when we were going through the process, and keep that in mind when posting in the future. Just my 2 cents.</p>
<p>This is off the main topic of the thread, but it is a funny family story about hotel soap and shampoo. Hopefully it will inject some humor into this serious thread!</p>
<p>My husband has traveled extensively for his whole career, for over 30 years, and always brings home the soap, shampoo, conditioner, shoe polishing cloths, etc. from the hotels. We have a whole bin of these in our bathroom.</p>
<p>My son is working at an investment banking firm (where, obviously, people are highly compensated compared to most other people), and, at Christmas, a memo was sent around asking that everyone who travels on business bring back the shampoo and other toiletries from their hotels. It was to be collected at work and donated to a women’s shelter. My son found this hysterically funny and even thought to tell us about it! As if it is necessary to resort to obtaining toiletries this way, as even the lowest paid person at his company could easily afford to buy a whole case of shampoo to donate to a shelter! We were cracking up and suggesting that he tell his bosses that he was raised on free shampoo, and that his parents were able to put him and his sister through college with all the money our family saved using free toiletries!</p>
<p>Mythmom - Don’t assume no one was interested in your post on the AP grading process just because no one commented on it. I was very interested in your insights, as I am sure many other people were, but just didn’t have anything to say about it that I felt was worth posting. We al read many things of interest, but do not necessarily respond to all of them.</p>
<p>Just as an aside, I have heard that hotels count on being able to refill those tiny bottles from much bigger containers, so it does annoy them a little if you take them home. This might not be true of the hotels in the kind of circles that investment bankers travel though. And I’m sure any hotel would rather have you take the little bottles than not stay there at all. </p>
<p>So far I haven’t heard anything about them pressing the used bars of tiny soap back together to make new ones though.</p>
<p>But it does give me an idea for a new device to market via infomercials. The Shampoo Suck-O-Matic. Siphon the shampoo out into your own re-usable container (with my special logo on it), leaving behind the hotel bottle for re-use. Think of the carbon credits you could get for this!</p>
<p>We have been asked to donate these to a women’s shelter as well. I can’t remember, but I think it was my daughter’s girl scout troop that was collecting the soaps and shampoos. I assumed it was because the bottles and soaps were small and easy to carry. Anyway, never thought twice about it. It never occurred to me that taking these home would be considered <em>stealing</em>.</p>
<p>It also never occured to us that it would be considered stealing. The small size of the bottles is a good point as far as usefulness in a shelter. I did a quick search on the internet out of curiousity a few minutes ago. I found a link to a hotel chain in New Zealand that was starting an effort to refill the bottles that were not taken home by guests, as a recycling measure. It seemed that the motive was more environmental conscousness than cost saving. There was another link about some hotels installing dispensers for shampoo, etc. instead of providing it in small bottles. But I think it is generally expected that people will take these if they want them and leave them if they do not want them - it is not considered stealing.</p>
<p>I don’t take the hotel stuff - I don’t like it, it’s too cheap, and I prefer my own stuff - I always travel with my own soap, shampoo, etc. But sometimes when dining out, I’ll be served with glasswear or something that is very unusual, or attractive, or that I just happen to want. If I’m alone, or with friends I know very well, I’ll ask if I can PURCHASE the glass I’m drinking from, and, it never fails, the restaurant always responds by giving me the glass, free. So I have some really cool glasses from all over the country that I got free…btw I never do this if dining with a business appointment, just if I’m alone, or with friends. </p>
<p>I have other friends though who just steal the stuff. I have no idea why in the world they do this - they’re highly educated, nice, good people, they don’t commit other crimes, and they can certainly well afford any home furnishings they might desire. But they’ll steal glasses, tablewear, one mom even stole a platter of all things. Just walked right out of the restaurant with it tucked under her jacket. (I wasn’t there, I heard about it from another friend.) I think they must do it for sport, for the thrill…</p>
<p>Re hotels, I’m pretty sure I’ve read on some notecards in some of the rooms I’ve stayed etc. that if you help yourself to a robe, bathtowels, etc., they will be pleased to add to it your final bill. But they EXPECT you to disappear the soaps and shampoos…</p>
<p>Saving money by instituting a hotel-wide towel and sheet reuse program is a smart business decision. It also conserves water and energy, helping environmental issues like water and energy shortages.</p>
<p>I know we are getting waaay of topic, but latetoschool, I have an Aunt that also takes tableware from restaurants. I was so shocked when I saw this happen as a young adult; I should have said something, but I was after all a “child.” This is a women that is considered upper middle class if not upper class. She only shops name brands and at full retail price, at stores like Neman’s, Saks, etc. This was many moons ago and I have no idea if she still does this. I had forgotten all about it until you mentioned it and will have to find out when we are at a family function next week.</p>
<p>snowball-
(This relates to a thread you started elsewhere) Bless your heart-- you sure have your share of relatives with “issues” !! In all seriousness, kleptomania is a compulsion, and there can be genetic links to a host of emotional issues. Perhaps your parents will understand a bit better the need to deal with your brother’s issues if they recognize that he has been swimming in the family gene pool, as it were. Good luck!</p>
<p>I actually think it’s a good thing this thread is veering off topic…lol! Re: refilling shampoos. I can’t imagine it’s profitable to expend labor refilling those teenytiny bottles…and I think there could even be issues with leaving something for the next guest that could possible have been tampered with by the previous guest.</p>
<p>My husband used to collect them for shelter donations too, but stopped as he evolved into a world-weary ‘carry-on’ traveller with little packing room to spare.</p>
<p>Idmom, this will probably gross you out, but some restaurants do this with ketchup too. Fill the glass bottles for the table from a much larger container. They try to rotate the product by “marrying” bottles that each have a small amount to fill one bottle, so that they’re not pouring new in on top of old. The marry and refill is a nightly ritual some places, because diners want a bottle that looks full, and most have no idea how it gets that way.</p>
<p>Conyat, not only is refilling the ketchup bottles illegal most places, but dangerous as well. A long time ago we were eating in a cafeteria on vacation. As my husband opened the ketchup bottle for one of the kids the lid flew off and fermented ketchup literally blew out of the bottle all over him, one of the kids and someone at the next table. It looked like a slasher movie. We got lucky that the lid didn’t hit someone in the eye. You could see bubbles in the ketchup that was left in the bottle. The cafetria offered to have his shirt cleaned, but it was an old t-shirt, so they gave us a free meal AND a brand new bottle of ketchup.</p>
<p>We always ask for a new bottle of ketchup in restaurants now. </p>
<p>I certainly don’t stay in 4 star hotels, and even in the cheap ones the shampoo bottles usuallly have a seal on them. Are they just gluing on a new seal?</p>
<p>I never eat ketchup out for just that reason. I’ve seen fermented bottles and it isn’t pretty.</p>
<p>I don’t know about the seals on the shampoo. But here is a link from the Sheraton in Auckland talking about the money they save by refilling the tiny bottles: </p>
<p>“We brought a sample shampoo and conditioner bottle as a visual aide for both focus groups. They were both made of a milky plastic and printed with information about a particular hotel on the outside. They each held 8 fl. oz. rather than the typical trial size. The shampoo and conditioner are sold in the hotel gift store, which acts to deter guests from taking the bottles from their own showers. The hotel that the bottles came from reused them by refilling the bottle prior to the guest’s arrival.”</p>
<p>Their recommendation was that the hotel should get dispensers, because this was a turnoff, people being able to “get into” their shampoo bottle.</p>
<p>I take the shampoos and soaps (coffee packets) home too. In fact, we have a drawer full of the stuff then when I’ve collected quite a bit, give them to the local women’s shelter and the Salvation Army. </p>
<p>I would rather hotels not supply any soap than refill the bottles…that just makes me shudder…ewwww but that’s just me.</p>
<p>The CC culture isn’t easy to fathom. It both admires and dislikes prestige education. Older posters, no matter what their RL age, tend to cringe when they meet up with prestige chasers . You’d better be able to read eensy weensy social cues on this board! Otherwise you’re gonna get creamed.</p>
<p>The South East Asian/Asian culture is even more difficult to fathom. Those cultures have been feverishly pursuing higher education for thousands of years. One little Phd and a nice job–even at a top university-- isn’t going to erase 5000 years of cultural anxiety!! Are you kidding me? Of COURSE there are Chinese anxiety websites! Add in the terror those cultures have experienced in the last 100 years and voila. There’s all the reason in the world to cut Asians some slack in the anxiety department.</p>
And I’m sure any hotel would rather have you take the little bottles than not stay there at all. </p>