<p>Is there any circumstance in which saying this would not be condescending?</p>
<p>I have seen this in two Facebook posts recently, in both cases in response to very serious situations (a death in one case, a crime in another) and this expression just seems so trite and even callous.</p>
<p>But maybe the lesson is, don’t post about serious things on Facebook. Or maybe I am just too old for Facebook.</p>
<p>The one that bothers me the most is probably “There but for the grace of God.” You mean that “God” actually WANTED to kill that other person or inflict suffering on them? Or maybe “God” could have saved them but just couldn’t be bothered? Argh.</p>
<p>Written messages do not often come across the say way as if said in person. </p>
<p>Keep your chin up might be in appropriate in many serious circumstances but it could be that the author is at a loss for word to say. I don’t think I have the phrase used in a condescending manner. </p>
<p>[Keep</a> your chin up](<a href=“http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/216550.html]Keep”>http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/216550.html)</p>
<p>I’m with consolation. I’ll take “keep your chin up” any day.</p>
<p>I hate hearing “God has a plan”. I don’t think he does.</p>
<p>Another who would rather hear that than anything invoking God. Especially anything about it being part of God’s plan.</p>
<p>“Everything happens for a reason”.</p>
<p>Yeah, when my wonderful sister-in-law was killed in a tremendously stupid car accident precipitated by the horrid bad driving of a missionary, I certainly wanted to hear it “happened for a reason.” /snark.</p>
<p>The reason was the guy who ran her off the road shouldn’t have been born.</p>
<p>“keep your chin up” isn’t so bad, but I prefer the British “keep your pecker up” which is not only encouraging but hilarious as well.</p>
<p>Pecker meaning your beak of course.</p>
<p>Not in the same vein, but my pet peeve expression is, “I’m on a fixed income.” Really? Aren’t we all?</p>
<p>“we are so sorry for your loss”
But what if I am not…</p>
<p>I am very guilty of saying “Keep your chin up”…I’ve never meant it in a rude or insensitive way at all. I think I use it more to the male gender than I do for my female friends or family. I also tend to use “hang in there”…and follow it up with advise or empathy. I am also pretty sure neither phase has offended any of them. I wouldn’t be bothered by those words said to me. </p>
<p>Sometimes saying something…even if it isn’t the most brilliant statement, is better than silence. I think these sayings come from a good place.</p>
<p>prayinglady, that is very true. I don’t mind “Keep your chin up”. We are all so individual in our interpretations of things especially during difficult times. </p>
<p>I think it is important to say anything rather than nothing. You are right, IMO.</p>
<p>One of my pet peeves is how people take offense at verbal formulae so easily these days. Isn’t it just better to accept someone’s good wishes, however inadequately or tritely expressed? The world is hard enough without making it harder.</p>
<p>Apropos of almost nothing, this thread made me think of a clip from an old Fred Astaire movie: [Fred</a> Astaire, George Burns & Gracie Allen in “Stiff Upper Lip” - YouTube](<a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube) The lyrics are a collection of “keep your chin up” expressions from British slang. Gracie Allen sings the song, and she and George Burns then dance with Fred in one of the longest, oddest dance numbers he ever did. It never fails to convince me to go on with my day.</p>
<p>More relevant to the OP - It’s so hard to know what to say that won’t annoy someone else, even when intentions are good, which makes me avoid certain situations/topics. “Keep your chin up” does seem casual for the situations mentioned in post 1, but then again, how profound can anyone really be on Facebook? For most of us, words are inadequate at times and we can only hope the listener/reader will assume our intent is good.</p>
<p>Count me in with prayinglady, EPTR and NJSue. Most of us facing the deep sadness of people we care about, struggle to find the words. It’s so much more constructive to listen to what people are trying to convey, however they say it. </p>
<p>However, business is a different matter entirely. I think trite phrases have at times totally replaced critical thinking way too often. “Thinking outside the box” has become the new thinking inside the box. It’s a way to be a complete yes man - use a meaningless phrase to echo the boss’s views. A guy with good hair and expensive suits can say “synergistic value adds” and “scalability” and people seem to believe that he actually said something significant.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That is the first annoying one that came to my mind too. Of course everything happens for a reason, but the suggestion that everyone ends up where they are somehow meant to be is just foolish.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>LOL, musica. I remember when H and I had virtually NO income and what there was was shaky. When I heard people bleating about being on a fixed income I’d think, “I’d be HAPPY to have a fixed income!” And don’t get me started on people who ***** about Medicare coverage. Try having none.</p>
<p>I have used the term keep your chin up, especially to my kids. If they weren’t invited to a party in middle school or tanked on a test or something. I use it to mean something like keep moving forward and don’t let this get you down. I don’t think it is something I would say to someone with a serious problem, death in the family or something that serious. I always think of it as a way of putting on a good face when you’re having a bad day.</p>
<p>When someone I am close enough to that I will hear of the situation has had a loss, my rule of thumb is to say “I’m very sorry, I will be thinking of you and if there is anything I can do, please let me know,” mean it and follow up. In a difficult situation, a lot of times it can be helpful to say “i’m going to the supermarket, what can I pick up for you” “can I stop at the drug store for you, I am making a pot of soup and would love to drop off some for your family.” I guess my belief is that practical support and kind words can go a long way.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the closeness of the relationship, who is saying it and the context. It’s not an expression I tend to use, but I can see it being patronizing or supportive depending on the circumstances. There was an article in the LA Times last week that addresses the fact that it’s not always what you say, it’s to whom(I would add how and when):</p>
<p>[LA</a> Times](<a href=“http://touch.latimes.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-75241622/]LA”>http://touch.latimes.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-75241622/)</p>
<p>I think people often don’t know what some of these sayings mean, or are supposed to mean. For example, “There, but for the grace of God, go I” means that if circumstances were just slightly different, what is happening to that other person could be happening to you. It means that you aren’t really superior to that person–just fortunate. It doesn’t really mean that God wanted the bad thing to happen to the other person, although I suppose one could extrapolate that idea from it. But how it’s really meant is “That could easily be me or you.”</p>