<p>Could someone please explain HS dances to me?
Junior prom, senior prom, homecoming dance - what is it all about?</p>
<p>Do you want to know why high schools have dances? (to keep kids from running wild in the streets) Or what the difference is between the types of dances?</p>
<p>And I’d add that every high school handles dances in a slightly different way.</p>
<p>I assume you grew up outside the United States, or you would already understand this.</p>
<p>Although there are differences among schools, a homecoming dance is a dance held on the weekend of what is called the homecoming football game. This is a particular game, chosen once each fall, where graduates of the school are encouraged to come back and get together with old friends. There are usually various festivities, including a dance for students and perhaps a parade. Usually, students in any year of high school can go to a homecoming dance. It is a dressy event in most communities (boys would wear a jacket and tie or something else they consider similarly dressy; girls wear party dresses of every description but generally not formal gowns).</p>
<p>Prom takes place at or near the end of the school year. In some schools, it is for seniors only; in others, both juniors and seniors. A few schools have separate junior and senior proms. Dress is formal or close to formal (boys might wear tuxedos or dark suits; many of the girls – though not necessarily all – would wear long gowns).</p>
<p>In both instances, students usually have to buy tickets in advance. And in both instances, many students will combine the dance with other activities (a dinner at a nice restaurant before, a private or school-sponsored informal party afterward – for which they changes into informal clothing) to make it more of an event (exhausting as this may seem to us adults). In the case of prom, in many communities it is customary for students to plan multiple activities afterward, lasting into the next day, which of course means staying up all night. There are some regional traditions here. For example, New Jersey students often follow prom with a next-day visit to the beach. </p>
<p>Now for the differences:</p>
<p>In some communities, these dances are limited to students who attend the school. (This limitation seems to be more common for homecoming dances, where the entire school can attend and therefore having guests from outside the school could overcrowd the facility.) In others, a student can invite someone who does not attend the school as a date. </p>
<p>In some communities, either through official rules or social pressure, a student doesn’t go to these dances without a date (a partner of the opposite sex). In other communities, although some students may attend with dates, others may come alone, and still others may come in groups that are not necessarily composed of couples, and this is considered perfectly acceptable. In some communities, a gay or lesbian student could come with a same-sex date; in many other communities, this would either be officially forbidden or socially unacceptable.</p>
<p>On the night of a homecoming dance or prom – particularly after the official dance is over but while students are still proceeding with their night’s activities – there may be problems with students drinking alcohol. This concern is heightened by the fact that some of the students must drive to get from one location to another on this celebratory night. This is an important concern in many communities.</p>
<p>Then there’s turnabout… or the Sadie Hawkins dance ;)</p>
<p>[Sadie</a> Hawkins dance - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Hawkins_dance]Sadie”>Sadie Hawkins dance - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>I’m too lazy this morning to do my own writing!</p>
<p>Dances vary widely among schools. We have no homecoming dance. Only prom and only seniors can buy tickets to prom (others can go if asked by a senior.) SO, if your child went to our HS, there would be very little to have to understand!</p>
<p>However, banquets are big at our school - each group has their own - theatre, choir, drill team, football, etc. Dates are asked, dresses are purchased, and depending on the banquet, there is dancing at those.</p>
<p>As other posters have pointed out, there are differences between schools. Our school is fairly small, so there are some variations on this:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>We don’t have a football team… but there is a whole day of “homecoming activities” prior to the dance where other fall season sports teams have home games at the school. Our homecoming dance is as casual as other regular school dances, no dressing up.</p></li>
<li><p>Prom at our school is for 10th, 11th, or 12th graders (again, because we are small). It is usually held at a site away from the school. As other threads out here have discussed, for some schools you really need a date to go to prom. Not true at our school, it is very common for groups to go without individual dates. The expenditure outlay can be a lot of money (limo, nice dinner out, pedicures/hair stylists, etc.). Or a lot less (fancy dinner at one of the kid’s houses, do each other’s hair/nails). My D’s and friends have gone for the less expensive route, and still had a great time. Prom wear is usually longer gowns for girls, guys in nice suits or tuxedos.</p></li>
<li><p>Our school also has a “Winter Dance”, which is open to all high school students (9th - 12th). Semi-formal (so nice, but not long, dresses for the girls, usually suits for the boys). Again, held away from the school in our case.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>I agree, every school does things differently. Do you have a friend/neighbor with an older child at your local school who can tell you the specifics at your child’s school?</p>
<p>At boarding schools there’s a whole 'nother category of dances, called mixers. These are relatively casual affairs where participants are bussed from one school to another and have a joint social event with music and dancing. Usually well attended by freshmen and maybe sophomores, the seniors are way too cool for mixers … at least at my son’s BS.</p>
<p>Marian - your assumption is correct, that’s why I feel lost.
But not anymore thanks to your wonderful explanations 
Thank you all !</p>
<p>I know I’m going to get a lot of grief for this but…</p>
<p>I grew up in NYC in the 60s and 70s and I had no idea what dances or proms were except for what I saw on television! I guess because I never had any, I think they are the dumbest things. Our school has a Junior Prom and Senior Prom. The Junior Prom requires a “date” whereas the Senior Prom does not. Why? Who knows?</p>
<p>The Junior Prom was always held in the HS gym but the kids would only go for about 1/2 hour and then run off to the After Party for drinking and partying at some club (often The Copacabana). A large handful would do something else local with much less drinking and getting sick from drinking. Last year they tried to stop the brief visit to the Prom by making all kids stay at least 2 hours, those that didn’t got detention. Too many kids got detention, so this year they brought it out to a local catering hall. I think it worked marginally better - kids stayed around 1 hour. What a ridiculous joke!</p>
<p>The Senior Prom is fancier and held in a catering hall and the kids stay the whole time. I still don’t see the point. If it was only the whole senior class then it would make more sense to me, a last hurrah. But having younger/older kids as dates makes it pointless to me.</p>
<p>I read somewhere that the origin of proms was in response to the “coming out” or Debutante Balls of days past. I think proms are archaic but I do know parents who will go to their death defending them and all their costs!</p>
<p>Bring back the deb parties! I still have a Lester Lanin beanie somewhere!</p>
<p>I never knew what a homecoming dance was and my family has been in the U.S. since the 1800’s! My son’s school had a winter dance and I never knew what that was either.</p>
<p>Actually, my high school never bothered to tell anyone about anything. I heard later only 17 people showed up for the prom in the gym.</p>
<p>Is the going out to dinner before prom a southern thing? We live in the northeast and proms tend to be held in hotel banquet facilities and include dinner, thus the $75-85 per ticket price. People gather for pictures at someone’s house beforehand and there might be drinks and a few nibbles to be had, but never a meal.</p>
<p>Same here in the midwest, although in my day, it was dinner and then on to the prom - you know, killing the meal with a bone implement and then dancing around a fire howling at the moon.</p>
<p>^</p>
<p>No, not necessarily. It depends on the school.</p>
<p>In our area (DC), going out to dinner is common. Tickets are still in the $50-60 range, though.</p>
<p>Kelowna, my S reports that while he and GF go to prom and homecoming, they do not dance much. They tend to sit in a quiet public area and talk (for which an assistant principal yelled at them one year). They are not into the socloseyoucancountthechangeinone’spocket kind of dancing. The DJ plays two “slow dances” for the evening. Evidently the administration is more worried about slow dancing than freak dancing.</p>
<p>Oh, you mean the humping they now call dancing? Freak dancing makes it sound so sweet. I know I’m a prude but please tell my why oh why???</p>