<p>Merrymom - she got a ticket - yes - so what is the state’s punishment for getting the said ticket - is what I am wondering. Is it a fine? a court date? suspension of ones liscense? return to driving school? etc… the ticket alone is not punishment - but what it represents is.</p>
<p>A.S.A.P. - Not pulling your chain. My kids are well behaved. What would you not forgive?</p>
<p>There is nothing I wouldn’t forgive. It was the mention that a bad grade was unforgivable that I thought was humorous.</p>
<p>“If the kiddo was ‘caught’ by the parent - not by the law - I wonder what the parent would do to impose some form of ‘punishment’ (for lack of a better word) on their own kiddo.”</p>
<p>As I’ve suggested, I think “none” would be the proper approach. None as in “punishment” - could be plenty as in “social consequences”, including those which the parent would take on for his/her bad judgment regarding what the kid was ready for, resulting in a break in trusting relationships. And I see absolutely no reason why the parent should have to trust the kid with the car. At the same time, I see no reason to set out a “punishment” in days, weeks, or months. After a certain number of days, trust might be restored sufficiently. After a certain number of months, it might not.</p>
<p>This is what usually happens with a ticket at that age. You have to go to court with a parent and you can bring an attorney. You will get a chance to plea bargain the points down if you say you are sorry, there will be a money fine, and sometimes a chance to do community service. It will depend upon the Judge and the rules of the court. Also, it will depend upon the DA with whom you plea bargain, if you have a lawyer, how nice everyone is (BE VERY NICE). Girls can also get away with crying. I’m not familiar with this state and Judge, but that is how it is here. This is not legal advise, just my experience.</p>
<p>You don’t HAVE to plea bargain.</p>
<p>ASAP - I forgave a D in cooking in middle school once. There has never been a grade less than a B, and those are rare.</p>
<p>Off topic, but I don’t get the bad grade is unforgiveable comment either?</p>
<p>Mini, I suppose you don’t have to plea bargain, but why wouldn’t you want to? You get less points, and the fine and the affect on your insurance is less. To teach a lesson? Not at my expense. The whole family is on the same insurance policy, so it would hurt everyone.</p>
<p>Mstee - In my house a bad grade is unforgivable usually.
It was meant more as a joke, but that is what is important - not punishing, chores, etc. I believe in teaching many things by modeling behavior, not correction.</p>
<p>MERRYMOM - I guess you don’t live in MA or NC then LOL - cuz now - new laws effective this year - it is a non-negotiable offense - like it used to be - it is now automatic - by way of ticket from officer.</p>
<p>I know the ‘old’ way of dealing with this - the ‘new’ way does not give one any wiggle room at all. So consider yourself lucky in your state.</p>
<p>OOO and better check out the new laws now set in VA - yuk!</p>
<p>MINI…could be plenty as in “social consequences”, including those which the parent would take on for his/her bad judgment regarding what the kid was ready for, resulting in a break in trusting relationships…</p>
<p>Yes - for ones actions there are consequences - either legal ones or parental ones.</p>
<p>I guess your kids are much smarter than mine, merrymom. Mine don’t always learn by modeling my behavior, or other’s good behavior. Slow learners, I guess. Correction and consequences worked pretty well. There’s nothing unloving about letting your kids feel consequences of their behavior.</p>
<p>I also doubt that I would plea bargain for either of my kids (hesitate to say for sure, as I’ve never been tested) but I’d view the legal consequences as a good thing, and might be enough, providing I felt my kid was ready to try again and not a danger to herself or others. I wouldn’t worry about the insurance rates going up - the increase would be my kid’s responsibility.</p>
<p>I do Jeepmom. That’s why I live where I do.</p>
<p>A.S.A.P. Not my behavior - mine is awful! But my husband is a highly disciplined master, and fortunately the kids mainly copy him and we are a good combination, I think.</p>
<p>^^because of the driving laws??? uuummmmm</p>
<p>Guess I want to stay out of your state then…</p>
<p>“This is what usually happens with a ticket at that age. You have to go to court with a parent and you can bring an attorney. You will get a chance to plea bargain the points down if you say you are sorry, there will be a money fine, and sometimes a chance to do community service. It will depend upon the Judge and the rules of the court. Also, it will depend upon the DA with whom you plea bargain, if you have a lawyer, how nice everyone is (BE VERY NICE). Girls can also get away with crying. I’m not familiar with this state and Judge, but that is how it is here. This is not legal advise, just my experience.:”</p>
<p>Interesting. How did you learn this information? I’ve never had an occasion to go to traffic court.</p>
<p>Close eyes and place head firmly in sand.</p>
<p>So, Bay…how’s it going?</p>
<p>I did go to court to contest a ticket once-
it was given in a speed trap where the speed went from 50 to 35- with no discernible change otherwise. After I was pulled over- I noticed about 10 other cars all being pulled over ( coming off the ferry).</p>
<p>I suppose I could have just considered it a tax to keep small towns alive, but I took it to the magistrate in an attempt to get it lowered.</p>
<p>It didn’t work.</p>
<p>( However- I have gotten out of even getting tickets- by just blinking and looking wide eyed- so I guess over all two or three tickets in 30 years of driving isn’t bad- as long as you aren’t counting parking tickets!!!)</p>