And i have lovely friends…who are very supportive…even as we’re all scattered across the country…but as the final decisions are being made…I’m being faced with a whirlwind of college acceptances on social media…the one this morning, “We’re proud to say that we’re going to be UCLA parents! D worked so hard and earned this.” Or one that appeared on Sunday afternoon, “S chose NYU film school and all of the credit goes to him! Great work, son! We are so proud of you” and so forth…I mean, my friends are great…they give all credit to their kids for the hard work…they do have great kids. But - bottom line – the parents have the freakin money to pay for the tuition! Lots of us have kids who got into great colleges…but they’ve been knocked out of contention 100% because of money.
I know, i know…all of you are right (i can already hear your voices but i guess i’m just in a bit of a dip right…I’ll feel better after coffee…
I’m just jealous of all these kids who get to be undergraduates, take cool courses, live in a different town (if they are able), etc.
I’ve got one at an elite university and one at an LAC you never heard of (with a strange name). But I’m jealous of them both. Love to visit them at both their places.
OP, look at it this way - this is short lived glory for you to have to observe. Come September 1 the thing that will matter the most is that kids land in a place that is a good fit for them and where they will thrive. Big, small, well known, less known - doesn’t matter! Just as, if the school DOESN"T work out, it doesn’t matter if it is big/small/known - THAT is stressful and hard to deal with.
If you like, make your FB post and surely MANY will share your excitement and pride of your child as well.
Opportunities abound in many places. It’s the student who takes advantage of opportunties - NOT the school - that makes them happen.
(I do get where you are coming from though - and it is annoying!)
I am so sorry you are feeling blue. Take good care of yourself. These are difficult times for parents, too.
How is your daughter feeling? I’ve been sort of following your journey since the thread where you posted she would be happy at state u, and it was a difficult decision to look beyond that.
A young cousin did not get accepted to any of her reach schools. Some adults in her life are sort of long faced at the moment. I asked her, “Aren’t you accepted to the school you told me was your first choice at Christmas? Didn’t you tell me that you could make those others work but you really wanted a smaller, artsier environment?”
It’s human nature, and sure, some angst is expected. BUT did you ever think that those schools may be financial stretches/stresses for your friends? I will soon proudly announce that my D has chosen her expen$ive school, while privately regretting the full tuition offers she is declining at very decent schools.
From someone whose kid is not going where they want, I’m sick of reading all the bragging, too. Sorry if that sounds like sour grapes, but my kid is hurting right now and I’m tired of it coming from left and right field all the time.
Big hugs to everyone with disappointed kids. I am still aggravated at one of the schools that didn’t accept my kid. Some day I will get over it entirely.
Well, the bragging is from a mom that knows my kid and his situation. Our sons are friends, but not close like they used to be. Her kids have always been so smart and talented. I just got a bragging email from her and it was like nails on a chalkboard. I think this is the first time I’m feeling what my son has been feeling and I’ve been angry and teary a little this afternoon. Don’t you think one would be a little more sensitive? Top rated program in the country, he’s so amazing…blah, blah…gag!
I’m kind of on the other side of the fence - I’m going to my top choice (though it isn’t an elite school or anything, but a state U with a full ride scholarship), but one of my best friends got rejected from the USAFA and his other options aren’t turning out too well. He got into Texas A&M, and I really think that would be a good fit for him, but even with an ROTC scholarship (not a full ride one), it’s still probably too much. He may end up going to a state school and having to get an ME degree when what he really wants is an AE degree. Yes, I know they are similar, and I know AEs and MEs can do many of the same jobs, but we both really love aerospace and have since we were kids. It still has to play out, but I just feel really bad for him because he really tried so hard all through high school. He was only a few points away on the PSAT from having the exact same opportunity as I did at my college (he applied and was accepted there, but there wasn’t enough scholarship money for it to be worth it for him.) I just feel a little guilty because I know I never tried as hard as he has for scholarships and such, but yet I’m getting better options just because I got lucky with one test.
I just don’t know why she felt that she had to say that to me. I’ve always been happy for her and her family…but hey…how about being a little sensitive? If she thinks I’m going to jump up and down with happiness for her amazing kid, she’s wrong. I just don’t have it in me to even fake it right now. All of my son’s friends are going to the Univ he was denied admission to. Thankfully many, many of the parents don’t do this to me…and their kids are as brilliant, if not more, than this other mother’s son. It makes me appreciate them and their sensitivity. They consider their audience.
I know, easier said than done… Kids who get what they want may someday face the harsh reality of not getting what they want. Not going where you wanted is not the end - there is no such thing as a one and only single path to succcess in life. Many roads can take you there! Both girls here learned that sometimes first alternates get to race and sometimes don’t, but it is not the end of things. Both have been waitlisted for college, grad school, fellowships, etc. What they learned is to always have a contingency plan and move on if needed.
