pondering a major life change

<p>College thoughts posted:</p>

<p><a href=“http://pgi2009.bloggoing.com/2007/01/04/life-update/[/url]”>http://pgi2009.bloggoing.com/2007/01/04/life-update/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Follow all these developments:</p>

<p><a href=“http://pgi2009.bloggoing.com/tag/my-saga/2007-college-transfer-saga/[/url]”>http://pgi2009.bloggoing.com/tag/my-saga/2007-college-transfer-saga/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>It boils down to: I’m not sure I can enjoy the campus life due to health risks and my current school’s so big it completely hinders almost any hope of finding a community.</p>

<p>Is it normal to want to transfer midway through? (I’m about to begin spring semester sophomore year.)</p>

<p>if you’re not happy transfer. reading some of the links, man i gotta tell you…most people smoke and drink in college, it’s a time to experiment and have a good time. If your pre-disposed to problems and/or can’t handle it due to health, then you better make your convictions clear, and deal with the fact that you’re in a minority. For you, a smaller school would probably be better, sux that you couldn’t dig your first digs.</p>

<p>“most people smoke and drink in college, it’s a time to experiment and have a good time”
Uh…no, it’s a personal choice. I drank in high school, which carried over to college, but I have never smoked. You never have to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t ever cave in to please others, if pressured.</p>

<p>What college are you at now? Don’t transfer to a lesser school. There are plenty of good colleges that are dry, that can provide you with a great education (BYU for example).</p>

<p>Which is why I’m looking at Abilene Christian as #1 option.</p>

<p>Worried…I’m at New Mexico State currently.</p>

<p>As a Christian I’m not sure I’d fit in well at BYU, though.</p>

<p>If you have good grades, check out Samford University and Calvin College</p>

<p>Your blog sounds a bit like what my once friend went through during her first semester. She was SO interested in deep conversations that would boggle my mind and very passionate about her beliefs. She had trouble understanding how social dynamics worked at our school since it was…rather liberal. She simply ended up being very unhappy despite loving the academics. Now she’s at LeMoyne College, up near Syracuse. I don’t know how she’s doing but I remember when she talked about transferring there, she couldn’t imagine herself any place else.</p>

<p>Check it out too.</p>

<p>you really seem to over analyze people. its like the college is an animal caged in that you want to tame, but youll never do that by just looking in from the outside. Lift weights. Join clubs. do activities. not everyone at a 16,000 people school parties (i have many friends and acquaintences at big schools). nobody wants conversations. conversations are not fun. do stuff to get involved with other people. let loose. my reading your blog thing you seem very uptight. just a thought i had, though.</p>

<p>ticklemepink…agreed.</p>

<p>JaxSurf (19:16):…I am involved with two organizations, neither of which seem very passionate. Remember, this is three semesters in, not one.</p>

<p>I’ve responded to some of this in comments on my own site. I’ve observed the partying behavior in the vast majority of students I meet.</p>

<p>Joining activities…you have that nailed. I’ve been trying that too, but it seems that no one actually wants to DO anything.</p>

<p>I’m at my wits’ end. Perhaps I’ll make it clearer on my site.</p>

<p>I don’t party either. I live off campus and I am in a Christian fellowship group that meets weekly. I also hit the gym now and then but I go in the mornings before all the party clowns show up.</p>

<p>My only problem is that I have yet to find a girl who doesn’t party, is conservative, and has things in common with me. Otherwise I’m doing fine. (For now I have my car that I can spoil like crazy)</p>

<p>Colinp, why wouldn’t you fit into BYU as a Christian? I would think that as a Christian you would fit in better.</p>

<p>^ eh…though Christian, the Mormon church is pretty different from other Christian denominations…</p>

<p>If you want to consider the East Coast, look into Grove City College, Messiah College, and Eastern Mennonite University. I’ve heard great things about all of them and know successful grads from each.</p>

<p>Certainly the Mormon religion is quite different from most other Christian religions, but I’ve heard of non-Christians going there that had a good time there. I don’t think Christians of different faiths would stand out too much. That is, if they could get over the coffee thing.</p>

<p>I’m going to be brutally honest concerning your views and issues, as I was somewhat similar in the past (minus being religious) and was able to change for the better. </p>

<p>The vast majority of people in college want to have fun and explore new areas (drinking, smoking, traveling, sex, other friends, etc.) which were either limited or off-limits during high school. That said, if you don’t take part in these activities, you must either find others that make the same decision, or relegate yourself to isolation - no one will change their lifestyle because you don’t agree with it.</p>

<p>If you have nothing in common with people, why do you expect them to desire to spend time with you? If you are anything like the image your journal gave me, you are likely fairly quiet, passive, judgmental, and to many college students, boring. This creates two major problems for you: first, guys like people that are fun and share their interests (if you don’t like football, you’re going to have a hard time with the typical guy you described), second, girls like guys who are confident, funny, social, and good looking - if you lack in those categories, you’re going to have a heck of a time getting a date.</p>

<p>One question I had: how can you presume to know how relationships are supposed to work and the goals of anyone in a relationship? Both guys and girls like to have fun, and when a specific thing, or person in this case, is the most interesting thing at that point, why shouldn’t they spend a lot of time together? People can do whatever they like, and apparently it’s working for them, as you’re the one wishing you could have more friends (maybe even a girlfriend). </p>

<p>Personally, I had always chosen activities and friends that separated me from the “popular” crowd, eventually I came to the conclusion that I needed to change as I thought their lifestyle sounded so much better (plus, all of the hot girls were in the “popular” crowd). I embraced my decision and started doing all of the things I missed out on earlier in life: listening to popular music, watching football, playing football, “hanging out” without a specific purpose, etc. After about a year, I was no longer considered any different than one of the other guys, except that I happened to be in much more advanced classes. Eventually I came to the realization that I really didn’t enjoy my new life and wished I could talk about more serious and intellectual matters. After that, I abandoned the aspects of my “new” life that I didn’t like, but held onto a few thing things that I surprisingly really enjoyed: playing/watching football, rock music, a new confidence, and a lack of the fear/hesitation/shyness/weakness that had pervaded my relations with those outside of my comfort zone up to that point. Anyway, my point is, don’t judge too quickly or too harshly if you haven’t given things a fair chance, and don’t worry about how other people see you or treat you if you wouldn’t enjoy their company and interests anyway.</p>

<p>Lastly, think about this - why should anyone make an effort to get to know you? Concerning your social life, the ball is yours, whether you decide to run for the touchdown despite your opponents attempting to drag you down, or crumble under the pressure, is up to you.</p>

<p>Yeah, you are thinking too much. Just talk to pepole and don’t think about it so much.</p>

<p>To #15…you’re right, but I’ve tried most of that already. Perhaps I didn’t make that clear…</p>