“The basic problem is that racists don’t think there is anything wrong with being a racist. Period.”
This is a huge problem but it isn’t the only problem. I think there are a lot of white people who think it is wrong to be a racist. They have some friends and/or acquaintances who are minorities and they consider that as proof that they aren’t racist. It is a part of their identity that they are not racist. But when it really comes down to it they DO harbor a lot of bigoted attitudes.When a police shooting occurs they immediately presume innocence on the part of the cop and guilt on the part of the victim and look vigorously for details to confirm this. When a black student gets into a selective college they assume it is because of the color of her skin rather than her accomplishments while assuming a white student got in based on their hard work.
These are the people who there is a chance to change.These are the people I’m trying most to talk to in my spheres of influence. Many of these people have have been able to live in their little bubble of not recognizing the discrimination and racism raging all around them because it doesn’t seem to touch them personally. Reality is bursting that bubble right now.
We need a neuroscientist to jump in on this thread! Seems to me our brains are making decisions and judgements that we are largely unaware of in our need to seek sameness and our tribe?
I didn’t post because I am a white person making a huge effort to listen. I agree with Hanna and Snowbunny #53 about listening. I am reading and I am paying close attention.
I think that one of the things that’s hard about this is that many white people who’d like to do something feel that they aren’t in a position to do so without doing something more drastic – such as moving. But there are a simpler things. You can talk with other white people about white privilege. For example, it’s a privilege to be “color-blind” and not have to think about race. It’s a privilege to have a taxi drive by you and not to have to think they did so because of your race. It’s a privilege to choose colleges without having to think about what it would be like to be one of the 7% who are African American at that excellent, but isolated school in the middle of Maine/Vt./Minnesota (and decide it’s not worth it.)
You can attend protests and stand by African-American protesters to let them know that you support them. You can listen.
You can call people out on their racism and try to listen to where they are coming from. While personally, I feel it’s a place of no good, if they can articulate their fear (of whatever it is), perhaps you’ll be helping them find a more thoughtful position. People CAN change.
For ourselves (and for our children), we should work on real listening skills – to hear different truths and to respect them rather than to frame everything as a debate. There are many places that have diversity but far fewer in which there is an open exchange on differences.
And if you’re involved in any organizations that would benefit from more diversity (as we probably all are), look around to see how inviting they are to non-whites. I was speaking with a college president who has been working for some time on making his institution less white and who had noted that there were a number of formal buildings in which the walls were lined with portraits of white men. He articulated the physical environment of being one that could easily reinforce a notion that “you are welcome here as a guest, but you’re not family.” So having faculty, administration, co-workers, counselors, leaders, etc. who are of color is important as well, and that’s a change that many of us can make happen (in our little ways!) whether it’s at a camp, work, school, etc. You can be a voice for that change.
FWIW, this thread helped me to read/listen without going quickly into defensive mode. Even though I never said anything to others when I felt defensive, it still inhibited my ability to really hear what was being said.
I’ve also become aware that I’ve been absurdly prideful. Too often I was quick to point out what I’ve done, or what my parents did that impacted our whole family, to try to improve the situation and thought that somehow absolved me from trying harder and doing more.
Admittedly, it hasn’t been a real pleasant experience to look at my faults and failings. It’s too much like the old school examination of conscience that our strict Irish-born priests used to insist on before we parochial school kids went to weekly confession. Both have value, but the process can be painful.
There may also be the phenomenon of demographic change, specifically the prospect of white people no longer being the majority in the US in a few decades. It appears that some white people see this as a “threat”, even though they did not object to non white people living as small enough minorities that they are not “threatening”. That usually is not expressed openly. But sometimes hints of that come out in terms of such things as not wanting to attend a college or live in an area where white people are not the majority. And some of the political rhetoric flying around these days is barely concealed in targeting people who feel this way.
California made this demographic transition previously. The politics in California did get rather ugly at the time, although today’s similar politics on a national scale are even uglier.
@alh: “I didn’t post because I am a white person making a huge effort to listen. I agree with Hanna and Snowbunny #53 about listening. I am reading and I am paying close attention.”
Well, this is interesting.
Firstly, I thought you, alh, were Black. I would never have know (or needed to know) either way, but that’s where my mind has always taken me with you.
Secondly, I kind of thought this was a thread better left for white folk to discuss things, with as little input from me (Black) as I was able to muster, as the OP seemed to start people on a roll about how to combat racism from where they are, where they stand.
I read the OP as being white, and looked at her stating her (?) need for input as one which made it easier for other whites to speak.
I am the product of generations of southern WASPs. I am very concerned about adequately acknowledging white privilege (if such a thing is even possible) and also acknowledging I don’t (yet) see all the privilege I enjoy. I am definitely going to speak up if someone says something that seems racist to me in my presence. However, I can’t know what you know by life experience. I can listen and read and believe what you tell me and try to adjust how I live my life in an effort to minimize, in whatever way is within my control, negative impacts of racism. My kids told me (in the sweetest way possible) to stop talking and start listening. I am doing my very best. My grandbaby is not going to be white. It hadn’t really connected with me till my daughter-in-law’s first trimester was over that that necessarily means this boy’s life will be different than his father’s. I really need to listen very hard and get this right. As right as I can get it.
I just returned from a two day college orientation with my child. At the beginning of the first day I looked at the group,of orientation leaders and thought “What a great group of young adults and students working their way through summer doing these orientations. I honestly did not notice the breakdown of minorities. At our first break out session one of the leaders exclaimed “I am Asian and there are not many students here who look like me”. I was actually stunned and truth be known I hadn’t noted she was Asian, just a beautiful girl. By the end of the first night there was a “skit” where almost every student leader stepped forward practically yelling at the audience “I am gay…” “I am black…” I am trans…” I have anxiety…" “I have a handicap…” Etc. By the way the only group not represented in this skit was the white teen who may not be racist but is treated as if they are. Honestly had they included this last group I might have left with a different feeling. What started as a day of seeing wonderful young people and students ended with me only seeing their race, sexuality, ethnicity, and/or handicap. I need someone to explain to me how this was at all helpful because the tone was accusatory and degrading to the entire audience.
Since we have a gay child, and acquired a daughter-in-law who is not a WASP (who calls me mom so I consider her one of my own, and our son thinks her mom is his second mom as well) the world looks a whole lot different than it did when my perspective was solely WASP heteronormative. When we were making up our minds about moving back to the south, we drove around and asked ourselves, “Where are the kids that look like our kids? Will they be comfortable visiting us here?” Our kids are all grown up. I am still worried about their comfort and safety above all else.
@alh@Silpat thanks for the responses. I took the few responses as no one really caring, but hopefully I hope others are reading and maybe a little introspection.
@bhs1978 Being able to not see race, gender identity, handicap, etc. shows a level of privilege. I’m not a POC, but I am a disabled person who is a member of the LGBTQ+ community. I am constantly being confronted in the news, media, and in daily life with evidence that these identities make me somehow ‘less’ than straight able bodied people. I have no choice but to see my identity and understand what that entails. My brother is trans and I am always reminded that the rate of suicide and sexual assault are higher in the trans community. I know that his gender identity could drastically shorten his life span. If I saw a skit like the kind you described I would have been glad to see myself represented in the student body. I’d be happy that the school was proud of their diversity. I would be happy to see that the college fostered an environment where minorities were not afraid to be proud of their race or ethnicity because that means I’d be able to learn about perspectives beside my own.
I’m surprised that you came away only seeing the participant’s race, sexuality, ethnicity, etc. If before the presentation you were able to recognize that each of those people were dedicated students and had a good character, how is that altered by learning their identity? Last time I checked those two things are not mutually exclusive.
Snowbuny you say “I’m surprised that you came away only seeing the participant’s race, sexuality, ethnicity, etc. If before the presentation you were able to recognize that each of those people were dedicated students and had a good character, how is that altered by learning their identity? Last time I checked those two things are not mutually exclusive.”
Before the presentation I recognized that each of these people were dedicated students and had good character and after I recognize that they were dedicated students and had good character. What bothered me was the accusatory tone. The message I received from each of their in your face monologues was, if you are not like me then you judge me. People who are truly bigoted would definitely NOT change there minds by this type of presentation and a large portion of the audience who are not bigoted left feeling accused. A big problem is every time a “white person of privelage” says “I’m not racist” a slew of people come back and say they are racist because they are white. How does this change? How does this reduce racism ?
I am happy the school is diverse and welcoming to minorities. If I weren’t I wouldn’t be sending my child there. But in my own opinion, I do not feel that Accusing everyone else of being racist is welcoming or productive. I honestly don’t know what the answer is because it is a two way street and people need to come together NOT be divisive by being accusatory.
It is difficult to know how to respond when a college orientation exercise, which probably had the purpose of teaching and encouraging inclusiveness, makes someone feel excluded. Being excluded is a feeling with which some of us just aren’t familiar, merely because of an accident of birth. Feeling excluded because some insist we acknowledge who they are is maybe not the response for which the organizers were going. It sounds like a good exercise to me. It would have made me feel better about leaving my kids at that college. I was seeking that out for my kids. I am guessing the point of the exercise was to make sure no incoming student felt, “there is no one here like me.” It even gave the first years the opportunity to identify those to whom they could go to for support if they felt the need. Of course, I wasn’t there, but I have seen many similar presentations.
In a college that is 77% white, you are distressed white teens weren’t represented in the skit. Those kids are the overwhelming majority and there will be lots of students just like them all over campus. The point of the exercise is to let the 23% know there are others like them and to alert the 77% to that fact as well. The fact you aren’t racist and a bigot doesn’t mean the campus is racist and bigot free. imho. As I said before, I wasn’t there for that particular skit.
If your kid was one of the 23%, wouldn’t you have wanted them to see a face that looked like theirs at orientation? If you had a gay kid, wouldn’t you have wanted that kid to know whom to ask about the LGBTQ+ campus group?
I would assume the choice of orientation leaders was deliberate. But that is just my assumption.