<p>A relative has a situation with his kid that is really troubling me. (NOT MY KID) I’m not sure if I’m being ridiculous or if it is as serious as I think it is. The reason I’m asking is to find out if my perspective is too extreme – and my kid just started high school and might (God forbid) be in a similar situation.</p>
<p>Kid is a sophomore in high school who is using pot almost every day – at least several times a week – and is the one who is getting it for his friends’ use and providing the place for it to be smoked (parents both work long hours). The group has gotten up to some mischief that could have had legal ramifications had they been caught and were definitely dangerous. Friends acted innocent and pretended they didn’t know the kid when bad things happened. Although so far there haven’t been any serious/permanent consequences. Seems just a matter of time to me, though. The parents of this particular kid are total hippies (generally in the good sense of the word of working toward peace and love) who think this will eventually resolve itself but it’s been going on for at least a year and probably much longer. So my questions are: how much pot smoking is no big deal? Would you be concerned about legal consequences if your kid was the one supplying the weed? Finally, would you be concerned about the people he was getting the stuff from?</p>
<p>Or am I nuts and the parents have the right idea?</p>
<p>I grew up in the 70’s and never smoked pot but I sometimes think I was the only one who didn’t. Now nobody does–guess they outgrew it.
But I would be concerned about daily or frequent pot use for anybody. It not only dulls the senses but stays in the body for a long time. It’s not good for the liver and has other health consequences. And selling/buying/possesion of it can land you in jail.</p>
<p>My state legalized recreational marijuana recently.
I have been using it medically, which I only took up as a last resort for pain relief, a couple years ago. ( since I did so, Ive been learning about a surprising amount of peers who use it at least occasionally!)
Chemically, it is much less dangerous than other pain relievers, and certainly less dangerous than alcohol.
However, children should not generally use marijuana.
There are a few exceptions, as with the little girl undergoing cancer treatment who found it helps with pain & with her appetite, but otherwise, it is against the law & not a good idea for teens.</p>
<p>If I was those parents, I would - have my child get a thorough checkup and probably counseling because to use something that often sounds like self- medication. ( If I thought I needed to, I would even have him enter a residential treatment facility)</p>
<p>I would also have him change schools because it is extremely difficult/impossible to change how people think of you in high school.
Its one thing to be in high school and use light substances a few times. Its another thing to use it everyday under the circumstances you’ve described, and for him to improve his judgement,( & his “friends”)he is going to need a brand new environment.</p>
<p>Who are these kids getting it from, any ideas? When I was in school, there was one kid who always could get it. My relative’s son is that kid, so I wonder where they actually get it. Seems like it wouldn’t be the Girl Scouts.</p>
<p>That’s really what is dangerous for you relative’s nephew, here, since he is the one who is always getting it. There were three guys back in the day who could “always” get it. One got shot and killed in the cocaine wars down in miami. The other two are successful family men, now.</p>
<p>The danger is in which guy your nephew is going to be.</p>
<p>I wish we would just legalize and regulate and tax it, already. It would be harder for the kids to get, then.</p>
<p>Those is very scary, poetgrl. I worry about whose door this kid is knocking on, but what can you do? I almost think my husband’s cousin should just get it for him rather than letting the son be out in the street by himself. The family is very, very wealthy (former pro athlete) and I wonder if the drug dealer has picked up on that. Particularly since his “friends” don’t participate in the shopping trips with him.</p>
<p>I guess you just pray for the best and hope he outgrows this or the laws change, both of which are bound to happen, before he has any major consequences.</p>
<p>If he’s never gotten into trouble, so far? I know plenty of people who never did.</p>
<p>But being the one who can “always” find it, except in colorado and Washington and states with easy medical card access, seems to be dangerous. But there’s nothing you can do except hope and let it go.</p>
<p>^I’m a worrywart type, but I am not sure the nature of the relationship should be this exact. I know this is an anonymous board, but you’ve been on long enough that a good sleuther could figure out who you are, I bet. Since this is a potentially legal matter, it might be better not to be so specific about the boy’s family. (yes, I get paranoid…but NOT from smoking. )</p>
<p>I share others’ concerns about what this could lead to; if I had the means, I’d definitely be taking him out of that school and looking at counseling.</p>
<p>So my questions are: how much pot smoking is no big deal? Lots of different opinions on this. Mine will be the minority. The very first occurrence/inhale/whatever is an issue…not something you berate your kid over, but not something you ignore as a rite of passage or expect as experimentation. Hopefully you’ve talked to them about it long before this and the conversation is simply a reinforcement of your previous discussions.</p>
<p>Would you be concerned about legal consequences if your kid was the one supplying the weed? Absolutely</p>
<p>Finally, would you be concerned about the people he was getting the stuff from? Yes</p>
<p>Or am I nuts and the parents have the right idea? No, you’re not nuts but people are going to have a range of opinions on this. This is evident based on the way our country is changing it’s laws (although I believe the laws stipulate over 21?). Even if it were legal in the state we were in I’d have an issue with my underage kid getting high all afternoon with his buddies. As you pointed out the group has gotten into some ‘mischief’. Things pretty rational and smart kids would not do all of a sudden become irresistible and hilarious when you’re high. It’s a gateway drug to risky behavior you would normally stay away from. I respect and appreciate that others have vastly differing views on this, people in my family and friends that I’m close with. We’re not all going to see eye-to-eye and that’s okay. Even people I know that hold more progressive views on this I am confident would not find it okay for a younger hs student.</p>
Just luck. One medical crisis and one criminal act that was caught by someone in a position to fix it.</p>
<p>Garland, point well taken, but this relative lives on the other side of the country and is in my husband’s family, which I don’t think anyone would connect with me.</p>
<p>My mother allowed my high school age brother to grow it in the house. She wasn’t a hippie/ libertarian, but after our dad died suddenly, I believe she sank into a depression and it was all she could do, to go to work, let alone keep my brother in line.
( he then joined the air force & became an engineer after he retired from air force. Now he is very conservative)</p>
<p>Incidentally, while he was doing that, someone burglarized the house. They took more than the pot plants, they also took my moms jewelry including her wedding ring. I wasn’t living there at that time.
If anyone knows you have more than a small quantity of marijuana at home, if you don’t have great security, expect to have your home burglarized.
You might mention that to them if their sons health isn’t enough of a concern.</p>
<p>My own very personal unscientific opinion – any similar activity (including smoking pot) done once a week, once every two weeks, etc. is recreational. Something to look forward to and enjoy with friends.</p>
<p>Every day, however, is a sign of something else going on. The smoking just happens to the external manifestation of something going on inside.</p>
<p>Can a person “outgrow it?” I suppose so. But if it was my child, yes, I’d be concerned and would try to look deeper.</p>
<p>I would be concerned about the frequent use but also about the legal ramifications. If this kid has enough to be giving it to his friends frequently, then he probably has enough to be charged with dealing whether he is charging anyone for it or not. That is not something to mess with.</p>
<p>An elementary school classmate who became the neighborhood dealer (pot & pills) in high school in the early 70s was brutally murdered in the town “on the other side of the tracks”, probably on a pick up run. </p>
<p>I do think getting high daily at that age (or any age) is a bad thing and dealing is a very bad thing.</p>
<p>My next door neighbor’s well-behaved son turned out to be a dealer and was busted in a police sting. The legal consequences were quite expensive and severe. He was just selling to support his own use, but it is still illegal and a big deal. Legal fees were around $20K and he was put on strict probation for a year- and this was a VERY favorable result.</p>
<p>I dont have a sense of whether he is a dealer who sell to people he doesnt know or whether he is getting a small quantity that he shares with a few friends.
But since those " friends" didnt stand by him, I wonder if they are actually friends or are using him for his access to pot.</p>
<p>I bought a drug test kit for $30 at Walgreens. It sits on my dining room table. I can use it whenever I choose , well… ask my kids to use it… and they pay for the next kit.
They fail, they lose car keys. I have good kids but they are normal teens…</p>
<p>I would be very concerned but I have an old fashioned view about drugs even though when I as at school it was very prevalent (70’s). Now I too am finding out (from my kids in their 20’s) that my peer group (their friends parents) often smoke pot socially. In young people who smoke pot there is a link to schizoprenia [Teens</a> who smoke pot at risk for later schizophrenia, psychosis - Harvard Health Publications](<a href=“http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/teens-who-smoke-pot-at-risk-for-later-schizophrenia-psychosis-201103071676]Teens”>Teens who smoke pot at risk for later schizophrenia, psychosis - Harvard Health)
We have a neighbor’s son who also supplied/sold and even grew his own; his parents faced burglaries, strangers turning up at the door either to buy or to demand money for supplies not paid for and threats as to what would happen if payment wasn’t made…no amount of reasoning worked so they had to throw him out of the house. I will not be surprised if there is a bad ending.</p>
This I do not know. I only really know the details from my D who was asked to speak with him. The parents don’t really want to know, but they were alerted by a school to the medical emergency and one parent caught them engaging in malicious mischief and fixed it.</p>
<p>I have this vision of the kid knocking on the door to a Mafia member who shoots him for his money or he just disappears since no one knows where he goes except the friends who won’t help him. Maybe my imagination is a little overactive. It’s not even my kid. But mine is now a boy coming into the dangerous years.</p>
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