<p>I was at a forum at my kids’ new private high school the other morning when I caught a strong whiff of pot coming my way. There was a boy sitting behind me , alone. It brought me up short, because I haven’t smelled pot since my subway riding days in NYC 15 years ago. After the meeting, I turned around and took a good look at him. He was a good looking, clean cut boy of about 16 and he was stoned. I’m not naive about drugs as I went to a northeastern boarding school in the 70’s which had a pretty bad drug problem, but it was so early in the a.m. to be doing that…745!..Later I thought that maybe I should have passed him a note that said, “You reek of pot. You should get some help” but then I thought that that was ridiculous, that he wouldn’t pay attention to an old bat like me anyway. It just made me sad to think that first thing in the a.m. he needed to do that. His mother doesn’t smell it on his clothes, I guess.</p>
<p>Hi dke-
Would it have been appropriate to talk to a staff person at the meeting? Clearly any kid stoned before you havehad your morning cup of coffee has an issue that need attention!</p>
<p>Yes, I did think of reporting him but I just frankly couldn’t bring myself to do it. The same school expelled our neighbor’s son for the same thing. He’d had a couple of chances to get his act together and didn’t do it. I figured that if his problem is that bad, it’ll show itself pretty soon. As a new parent in a new school I just thought better of it.</p>
<p>Ooh- that would not be a fun position to be in as a new parent.Though, I suppose a general “am I the only one here who smells pot” query perhaps could have been pulled off.</p>
<p>Since he hadn’t been doing anything that was an immediate danger to himself or others, I wouldn’t have reported it. I wouldn’t have bothered to confront him either because I’d figure that would be a waste of time. Seems like the young man was begging to be kicked out of school, but that’s his business.</p>
<p>I can’t believe no one else smelled it. Maybe he’s getting high after he leaves home so his Mom wouldn’t have noticed, but none of the other adults at school?</p>
<p>A lot of people are in denial about their little darlings until a small problem becomes a much bigger one.</p>
<p>I’m thinking the faculty and staff already know he has a problem, especially if it’s obvious to a stranger!</p>
<p>I figured he went behind some building after his mother or the bus dropped him off and he had a smoke. If I were doing that I don’t think my grades would be that good…especially from my first a.m. class. They’ll get onto it, I’m sure.</p>
<p>Makes you feel great about the offspring’s new school! Happens everywhere, happened at my children’s school.</p>
<p>In actuality, yeah, you probably couldn’t say anything, though as a parent, I’d want to know if my kid was toking up. I suppose you could have done an obvious “sniffing” bunny-rabbit like facial expression (obvious to the kid) and then glared at him, but if he was stoned he may not have noticed or cared.</p>
<p>One last thought-- in my s’s private school, the students (not the parents, I don’t believe) are obligated to report anything that is against school regulations. If they know and don’t tell, they are as guilty and the kid who violates the rule. If you want the school to know what you discovered, you could ask an innocent “hypothetical” question of the staff/administration (after all, you are a new parent, just trying to understand school policy). However, as a new parent, I am sure you don’t want to be in the middle of controversy. Tough call.</p>
<p>LOL…
Next thing you know the school administration will be appointing him to a place on the Honor Court. Don’t laugh- I’ve seen it happen. Why is it that some of the sneakiest “eddie haskells” of the school become the administration favorites?</p>
<p>LOL doubleplay–
“you look lovely today, Mrs. Cleaver”</p>
<p>True story- the “star”, all the teachers’ favorite, numerous awards and honors bestowed on her- and she was the biggest cheater of the school. All the kids knew it. But she was on the Honor Council. My favorite quote of my son’s: “Mom, everyday she asks me if I’ll let her copy my physics homework. She’s so dumb, she doesn’t even realize I’m not even in that class!”</p>
<p>She was brought up numerous times on cheating charges by her fellow students, but never found guilty (I guess not, when you’re both defendent and jury). The conventional wisdom on the part of the teachers and admins? “The kids are so petty to keep bringing up these charges against her- they’re just jealous.”</p>
<p>She’s now at a prestigious LAC in the south.</p>
<p>Wow, that story about the cheater who got all of those awards is disheartening.</p>
<p>You just brought back memories of 7:45 am every day at my high school in the late 70’s. Thanks. . . (BTW, that pot-reeking kid was elected Homecoming King).</p>
<p>A couple years ago my son told me that a student (dealer) at his school was bragging–in class–about how he’d helped buy his parents a house. The kid pulled out a wad of cash and counted out 23 hundred dollar bills. S and I debated about whether we should say something, and we decided not to. I had mixed feelings about keeping quiet, but S was afraid of retaliation.</p>
<p>I literally just ran the data for our state. In 2006, 10.8% of 8th graders; 18.1% of 10th graders, and 19.5% of 12th graders had been drunk or high at school at least once in the past year. This does not count those who had dropped out; and does not reflect being drunk or high elsewhere. </p>
<p>In 8th grade, females are more likely to be drunk or high at school than males. It reverses in 10th and 12th grades.</p>
<p>We switched schools because the other school was looking the other way at disciplinary issues that we thought needed attention. We’ve heard that this school is pretty on top of things when they get wind of them. Jury’s out as the school year’s new. I’m so jaded from the experiences at the other school that I’m in "wait and watch’ mode. We even consulted a shrink to ask him his opinion of this school and he said it would be 95% better so we’ll see…I would have taken 5% frankly.</p>
<p>I had a brief career as a French teacher at a private school in a well-to-do Boston suburb back in the late 70’s/early 80’s. I would say that about 30% of the students came to my class in the afternoon stoned each day. They sat there glassy-eyed and giggled. They couldn’t answer a question or pass a test. I became so frustrated that this was generally condoned at the school that I announced one day that anyone who came to my class in that condition in the future would receive an ejection and a phone call home. The class was shocked. Most of them complied. Still, a few defied me. I got no support from the administration and no positive response from the parents–just the admonishment to mind my own business. (One of the reasons I gave up teaching.)</p>
<p>This situation is pervasive from what I hear from friends all around the country. Even at my D’s highly regarded public school, things are no different. Many of these “stoners” are well-liked honor students. I find it disgraceful that it is treated like a big joke, and that it is openly discussed and tacitly accepted. </p>
<p>There are unsupervised parties every weekend in my town where kids get blind drunk and stoned and engage in behavior that will do them psychological and physical harm. Last year, there was one particularly notorious bash where one boy was locked out of the house, naked, passed out on the front lawn and had to be rushed to the hospital to be treated for alcohol poisoning and hypothermia. At the same party, a 15 year-old girl had sex with multiple partners in front of everyone. (She later turned up pregnant and had an abortion.) The kid who threw the party was a class officer–he kept his position and was allowed to run again the following year. I could not believe it. His mother took no responsibility and showed no remorse for what happened in her home. </p>
<p>A few years ago, our former Prinicipal tried to encourage a sober prom culture. Only about 10% of the class signed a pledge to stay sober. He tried to reach out to parents, but was rebuffed with a “F” you. </p>
<p>It is not surprising that kids “binge” in college…they start early…and there are few adults willing to step up to help curb this behavior. </p>
<p>Despite the odds being against me, I still speak up and try to help kids I know when I see them going down the wrong path. It makes me unpopular with certain people, but c’est la vie. “To thine own self be true.”</p>
<p>Many years ago I taught first period science in an inner city school (in San Jose, CA). One student was fond of showing up with his bottle of OJ… it only took me a few weeks to realize that he had vodka in his OJ most mornings. After I spoke to him about it, it was only OJ. At the end of the year, he asked me to change his grade so that he would graduate (he needed a 65% to graduate, he had something in the 50s), because then he could enlist in the Army. I told him I needed a note from the recruiter, got the note, talked to the principal to verify he would graduate if he passed science… and gave him the 65%. The entire administration knew he had a drinking problem, but didn’t want to suspend him, because they were afraid he’d never come back.</p>
<p>I met with two school district personnel from a non-inner-city school district in Clark County, Washington a couple of weeks ago. They say they now have had more than a few instances of 4th graders bringing vodka in their thermoses.</p>