I am against it on principle. I don’t think having an Xbox in a dorm room helps anything at all, not grades, not reaching out to make new friends, not joining new activities. Apparently many students have their consoles in their rooms, and I am made to feel like I am way out of line for having a problem with my student wanting his. What do others think? And if you said no to your student, what was the pushback from them, if any? Did you set criteria, like after the first semester or first year if grades were good?
I don’t think you’re wrong, especially if you know your kid and know they have a history of spending too much time on video games at the expense of homework. However, I have seen that students socialize through having a console in their room. Like, “oh, Max has the xbox, so let’s all hang out in Max’s room!” but like I said you have to know your kid and know whether they’re going to use it to reach out or shut themselves in.
I met my now spouse by walking around the dorm on a Saturday night looking for people to hang out with. He and a bunch of other guys were gaming in a friend’s room and I joined in. We played lots and lots of video games as undergrads and now I and many of the others are in graduate programs.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. It has to be based on the student’s personality. Some are disciplined and will use it as a way to relax and others will shirk their studies to play.
Personally I didn’t have one because I come from a family that couldn’t afford things like that. I knew a lot of gamers and none of them did poorly in school. However I absolutely know that some can’t handle having the temptation.
My S made a conscious choice to leave his home and we fully supported that decision. His apartment-mate in grad school did bring a gaming system but by that point my S had a track record of academic success plus he was not as “into” video games as he was when he was younger --so it turned out to be a nice occasional distraction for him.
Honestly if he went to socialize in someone else’s room by playing their Xbox I would be fine with that. It’s too easy to close yourself off in your room and “socialize” with your online friends. But hey, if your neighbor has one and everyone’s in there taking turns playing, go right ahead!
You know your child best. We let our son bring an XBox. It certainly hasn’t hurt his social life. He is very social. It is hard to say on the grades. We don’t require him to report them to us. At this point, I feel he should do well because it is in his interest, not to please mom and dad. He is a junior. Not on Deans List, but doing fine in a hard stem major. I think gaming is one of the lesser evils when it comes to temptations at college, lol. Good luck with the decision!
Professor here. Most of the students I know who are seriously into gaming are bad students. It’s just that simple. When I catch them in candid moments, they admit as much themselves. “Yeah, I worked on your paper for twenty minutes. Then I played Xbox for six hours.”
But I always have a :few: students who can keep it all together. I really don’t know what distinguishes them. Just that they exist.
You’ve got your head buried in the sand if u think leaving the XBox at home makes a big difference. They’ll just play online games on their laptop.
What @GMTplus7 said. My daughter has a Steam account and that’s one way she stays in touch with high school friends.
As a creative director with 20+ years in video games I’m biased, but for my son (who plays games only after his work is done), he’ll be bring his xbox, besides games it streams digital tv (Netflix, Amazon) and is a bluray / DVD player. Ideally, he’ll be studying and going out, but occasionally it is fun to sit down and play a game of Madden or FIFA with your friend.
Good study habits acknowledge the need for recreation.
If your student can give 50 hours per week to schoolwork/classes and still fit in gaming then it’s manageable, if he can also sleep, eat, bathe, work/intern, and exercise while also building relationships. You know your student.
DS was quite obsessed with console games in his early/mid elementary school years (when Nintendo ruled the world.) Honestly, we had some lingering concerns at that time. Fortunately, his enthusiasm was not as intense later. Instead, he was into music gears/software (Steinburg Cubase and later Apple Logic) and recording using a computer. He did have Nintendo, and another one (what console machine was used for playing Sonic Hedgehog and MegaMan?) but he did not have an xBox.
Re: online game. We intentionally kept using dialup instead of DSL/cable modem. It saved money. Also, DS was discouraged from playing any online game.
DS had many friends who went to a public college. He visited them quite many times when he was in college (their holiday break was on different days.) He noticed that public school kids played video games more than private school kids. I think it has something to do with their family background. Private school’s kids grew up with more versatile activities that could cost $$$ (e.g., several kids in DS’s class seem to know each other at some ski clubs even though they went to a different high school in a different state.) Playing video games does not cost as much, I guess. Maybe the parents who send their kids to a private college could have wider interests and/or hobbies or somehow help their offspring to have more intense interests outside of playing video games. (Just a wild guess here.) If this is the case, it is the parents who somehow fail to enable their children to develop other interests in the first place. (I admit I am somewhat biased here. My kid learned music using the Suzuki method by chance while he was growing up and it was all about “blaming the parents for most faults of their kids” in that " child rearing philosophy". LOL.)
DS still played games in high school and in college. It was just a small part of his life (even smaller part of his life in college. He was more into some club activities. This is another point: A student had better go to a college where a majority of students are very much interested in participating in a variety of ECs/clubs. When there are more fun things to do, the students will not spend too much of their time on the relatively dull activity: playing video games.)
I view gaming the way I view alcohol or pot. Most people can handle moderate amounts occasionally and recreationally. But there are a few who will use it as a way of avoiding reality, of escaping pain, of hiding from themselves or others. Usually the tendency to ‘binge’ has already revealed itself by high school - but not always. You know your kid. If he (it’s usually a he) is prone to addictive behavior, then keep temptation somewhere else (not that he can’t find it elsewhere - like alcohol and pot). If he’s good at self-managing, then a small amount occasionally with friends isn’t going to do any damage (and he can safety drive afterwards!)
Make sure s/he understands that they may be living in a small room with a person who is NOT interested, and who wants to study or sleep when they want to play. The constant light and noise (headphones are a given, but the fans and clicking create noise as well) from large monitors and towers to support gaming can be a serious issue for the roommate trying to study or sleep. Also one shouldn’t assume that you will be able to have friends over at all hours to watch/play, again, because roommate might be trying to sleep. Portable systems are good, and allow gamers to get together in dorm lounge to play. Just be prepared to find compromises, and be understanding/polite about it (like anything when you’re sharing a small space with another).
If your son has a roommate you may not have a choice in the matter. Son’s roommate bought a PS4 as soon as he moved in. We had said no to our son but obviously have no control over the roommate. Their room is a gathering place for the other freshmen on his team, with rarely fewer than six people there. When he needs to study he goes to the library.
My son was a RA and he saw more problems with gamers getting placed on academic probation or flunking out than those who drank and partied a lot. The biggest difference was that, for the most part, the drinkers studied hard during the week and partied on the weekends, and the gamers played every day.
This is interesting. I assumed my son would bring his PS4. He is not really a gamer. He likes to play games, but also uses it to stream movies and TV. He’s had it in his room for the past few years and has been an excellent student so I’m not really concerned about things changing that drastically.
It’s something my son enjoys, so I’m assuming he’s bringing it.
Going away to school is about learning to manage your priorities on your own. If something as small as having access to a gaming console is going to derail him, then he’s in real trouble when it comes to the bigger issues.
Our kids didn’t have a game console until they were well into hs, when they bought one themselves. I still refuse to buy games or peripherals or anything related — but of course they are grown and buy it all themselves, which is their choice. Not having one only postponed the inevitable time suck. We did ask S2 to keep his at home for the first half of the first semester as he got adjusted, but of course there were plenty others around and STEAM is online. So you are fighting a battle you cannot win.
They will do what they want, regardless. Gaming is such a part of their social life it’s not realistic to expect them to moderate it or abstain. Like people who have other bad habits,many gamers believe 1. they only play a “little bit” or “some” and 2. they stop when they need to do other things, like go to class and study, or sleep. Whether they actually have it under control is usually evidenced in their grades.
In elementary school, we can spot the gaming kids a mile away. No attention span, no patience, and worst of all, very little curiosity about the world. They have inappropriate contact with adult themes…well, it’s an old argument.
Nothing really much to add other than to reemphasize that Steam and other online vehicles are widely used – console game or not – no one who gravitates towards self destructive gaming will be lacking.
Also, when I graduated an Ivy in the late 80s, one peripheral guy in our friend group failed to graduate due to obsessive gaming. He spent completed almost four years at but spiralled his last semester. To this day, he’s not completed his degree.