We haven’t given this much thought . . . I think of my son as an adult who - once he leaves for college - has to be responsible for this type of thing. In any event, he is also a STEAM gamer so there’s probably not much we can do since it’s online.
My S is from a family of gamers (H works in the industry and is a hard-core gamer) so there was never a question that he would bring a console to his dorm room. His freshman year, he brought a PS3 and roommate brought an XBox and large screen TV. Did not prevent S from making friends, mostly gamers with similar interests, or making good grades (Dean’s list every semester). I suppose you have to know your kid, but I don’t see the issue with it - unless your kid is unsociable or addicted to gaming.
I can understand limiting this in a high school student. College is a different story. On so many levels I think this should be the student’s decision. He is a college student and should have freedom to choose what is in his room. If he wants to develop distractions that keep him from socializing there are plenty of other ways to do that-gaming may be the lessor of the evils. Electronics are available for this cohort so they need to learn how to use them reasonably and to apportion their time accordingly. I also think this is a decision a student should be making rather than a parent-unless it is the parent’s system and the student would be taking it from the family-in which case if there are siblings it becomes a parent issue again. I’d say this even if the student had a tendency to over-use the gaming system because he has to learn to impose control over his tendencies-and again, gaming is the least of the possible distractions that could occupy too much time.
“Private school’s kids grew up with more versatile activities that could cost $$$ (e.g., several kids in DS’s class seem to know each other at some ski clubs even though they went to a different high school in a different state.) Playing video games does not cost as much, I guess. Maybe the parents who send their kids to a private college could have wider interests and/or hobbies or somehow help their offspring to have more intense interests outside of playing video games. (Just a wild guess here.)”
@@ That IS just a wild guess. Stop trying to put people into boxes. There’s no systematic difference between “people who send their kids to private colleges” and “people who send their kids to public colleges.” You might find this hard to believe, but there are actually super-affluent people who could buy and sell all of us on this board who send their kids to public colleges without a moment’s hesitation! Anyway, there’s no a priori reason to believe that people who send their kids to private colleges are “more expansive” in their interests and hobbies. People are people.
.@PG,
Agree that my wild guess is not a good one.
Just heard that DS’s friends at a public college seem to play computer games more frequently than his peers at his private college. It could be just anecdotal.
I guess the question is why you have to try to put people into the boxes in the first place. You may not be aware, but you have a tendency in a lot of your posts to try to hypothesize or “explain away” people differences by some sort of demographic. People who send their kids to public vs private colleges. People of this ethnic background vs that ethnic background. Women vs men. People don’t just behave according to some predetermined genetic or other type of ethnic background. Regarding video games, there’s no reason to believe that there’s any appreciable difference between the types of kids who like to play them and the types of kids who don’t like to play them other than, well, some kids like to play them and others don’t.
Our son needed a new computer for college, and we got him one that was especially well-designed for gaming. He is a very hard-working, duty before pleasure type of kid and he has mild Asperger’s. Being able to connect with his gaming friends (the majority of whom he knows IRL) has been a lifeline for him his first semester in college. I do think there’s a trade-off in that he may spend his leisure time gaming rather than trying to make new friends at school, but we all agreed that having the ability to continue with League of Legends was very important to his emotional well-being.
Every kid is different.There’s no one right way to do this.
@Wasatchwriter, I’m guessing that the kids who play Xbox for six hours in lieu of studying are dealing with an addiction, rather than a hobby. My son is a gamer, as I said in #26, but he always gets his work done first (and very thoroughly!). We saw this all through high school and trusted him to continue the pattern when he went off to college. He doesn’t have all of his first semester grades in yet, but the ones he does have are As, and based on what he told us about his other two classes during the semester, I can’t imagine either of those grades will be below a B+.
@mcat2, what @pizzagirl said. My son has very narrow interests. It’s just the way he’s wired. But he went to a private high school and is now at a private college, where we’d be full pay if it were not for the merit scholarship they gave him. We’re not one percenters, but we could certainly afford activities other than gaming. He just likes gaming.
That is hilariously wrong, in my opinion. I had a good guffaw about it.
How many colleges/universities have gaming labs, like that in the Hunt Library at NCSU (Google it)? I’d have my kid use that instead 
I have three kids: two college graduates, one is a college freshman. We said unequivically “NO”, when the subject of bringing a game system to college came up before their freshmen years. None of them are “gamers”, but the two boys had assumed that they would be taking a system with them.
Our reasons were simple. Once your room becomes known as the room where all the gaming is happening, you lose control over your own need for quiet time, studying time, sleep time, or just wanting to do something else that evening. We could not see the point of them bringing a gaming system. It had the potential of being way too distracting. At a time and place where real life “out there - seize the day” opportunities abound, why would we want to encourage them to bring a reason “stay in”?
The boys understood our point about a month into their first semesters. They had friends whose social lives revolved around gaming, but my own kids are not wired that way. When they moved into houses as juniors, the situation was different. The game systems in their houses were in shared living rooms, which was fine.
But every kid and every family is different. For some kids a gaming system might be a way to relax for an hour at the end of a day otherwise spent putting themselves “out there” academically, socially, emotionally. It would have been an unneeded distraction for my own kids.
My son is a junior in college. His first two years he lived in an on-campus dorm and this year he’s in an off-campus apartment. He’s had his Xbox with him all three years. He’s also in a fraternity, social club, plays intramural sports and a club sport. Having his Xbox hasn’t affected him at all. His GPA has been more than 3.0 every quarter/year. His Xbox is a way to unwind, relax, and also connect with friends, including ones from high school, online.
Both my kids play video games on the computer. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t prevent them. They have STEAM accounts and I’ve watched them play with each other with controllers they bought with their own money. Older son always spent a ton of time on computers, about half worthwhile stuff like learning Linux the other half playing games. He’s graduated and has been in his dream job for several years. He’s playing some computer game right now.
@mathmom any chance they’re SMITE fans? DD17 has been playing it on STEAM since it was in beta :).
Not that I know of, but I don’t pay that much attention.
SMITE is so bad, lol. Also, not trying to be picky, but it’s pronounced Steam.
Anyway, I gamed a ton during my first/recent semester in college and earned a 3.7 gpa while taking 17 units as a Comp. Sci. pre-major. So long as your kid’s responsible and studies when appropriate, they shouldn’t have a problem.
DS17 plays several STEAM games and most birthday gifts he gives friends are STEAM gift certificates. He has two consoles and lots of games for them, but only uses them when younger cousins come over and want to play. His laptop has a gaming graphics card, but he paid for half of it with winnings from a hacking competition, so he got some say in the graphics card.
STEAM is “pronounced” the same as Steam, lol.
The solitude argument seems a little silly to me. Would you prevent your student from taking books? Can’t socialize while reading, after all.
I like Smite but it’s League that has my heart. Millions and millions of people play League of Legends and all that needs is a computer.
I think if people are going to game and they’re denied consoles, they’ll just turn to computers.