DS did not take the console with him. However he did/does use steam. He is now a Junior and he and his GF bought a Play station together. DS did know some friends who spent too much time playing video games and either flunked out or didn’t come back after the first year. IMO you can tell them can’t take the console BUT that doesn’t mean they won’t find a way to buy one or play one. Normally kids are 18 when they go to college and there are some things they need to figure out themselves and not letting gaming take over their lives is one of them.
I am a little embarrassed that I incorrectly put something in all caps-I hate “yelling” on the internet-that’s so amateur and I should know better.
These kids are the first computer-native generation-they were born teething on the web, for better or for worse. I’ve said to my daughters a bunch of times that you are the first generation of kids who’ve had to work to keep porn away from your eyeballs instead of seeking it out.
(I don’t want to digress onto the path of whose special snowflake would never look at naughty stuff, or if you never hunted it out-that’s fine, I’m saying nowadays no matter how tight your filters are on google, it’s a challenge to avoid it.)
But my point is, I feel like I needed to really look at internet/gaming at the same level as you’d teach your kids about guns or alcohol or sex, because once they go to college, you can’t control it at all, and it can really hurt you if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Well here is the upshot. I strongly communicated all of my arguments against taking the Xbox back to school with him, but he is 19 now and we left the final decision up to him. As of last night he was planning to take it, but when he left for the airport this morning to head back to school it was sans Xbox! We don’t know what happened or why he decided to leave it behind–I don’t flatter myself that it was my well-reasoned arguments, it was probably more the hassle involved–but it remains in our house at least for now!
a kid that wants to play a video game console is not going to be stopped because a parent did not let him/her bring the console to school.
I don’t like the idea. it’s anti social and often violent. but it’s better than a real gun which texas is pushing for kids to have on campus and in their dorms.
Playing video games may not cost as much, but video gaming consoles and accessories do add up to what can be a large sum to many folks.
From my perspective and those of most neighbors in my old formerly working-class NYC neighborhood, video gaming consoles are an expensive luxury item with no redeeming value beyond entertainment mainly for the middle/upper class or for parents who were in their view “overly indulgent” with their children.
There was also an element of criminality associated with video gamers in my old neighborhood as their expense meant many hardcore gamers also happened to be ones who could only get consoles and games by mugging/burglarizing local businesses/homes and individuals. Knew of several neighborhood hardcore gaming kids who ended up dropping out of school and being sent to juvie or even serving long sentences at Rikers on account of crimes associated with feeding their video gaming habits.
As a result, video gaming had a serious negative stigma among elementary school classmates and parents who wanted their kids to finish high school and avoid falling in with that “bad crowd”.
Personally, I had experienced some conflict with a college roommate on account of his habit of playing computer games until 3-4 in the morning when he and I both had early morning classes the following morning.
While a nice roommate in other respects, the bright lights and noise from clicking keys/joystick and utterances of glee or frustration got to the point I had to put my foot down and had him agree to take his computer out of our room after midnight so I could get enough sleep for my early morning classes. It also helped his Prof for his early morning class was so frustrated with multiple unexplained absences over several days and ignored emails/phone messages that the Prof asked me to notify him that he wanted to see him to explain himself.
Agreed. Saw this during my undergrad and observed this with one younger friend while he was still at college. Ended up having to mediate a conflict between him and some roommates/hallmates over noise and other issues with his room being “TV/gaming central” as a result of him having a gaming console in his dorm.
It also didn’t help his undergrad GPA which still affects him nowadays while working at a household name computer technology company as he’s finding that’s one of the factors in why he’s one of the few folks from his entering cohort who has not been promoted whereas most folks from cohorts as far as two years after his have already been promoted over him in the firm. A concern as word is that if the firm feels the need to layoff folks, they’re inclined to follow former GE CEO Jack Welch’s example of automatically eliminating those considered performing within the bottom 10%.
The more I think about this, the more I agree with the assertion that once the dorm room becomes known as gaming central, tranquility goes out the window.
Here at home there are no electronics allowed in the bedrooms (including ours). It makes sense to me that we’d continue that at college for them, as much as possible (there will be phones and laptops there, inevitably).
snort they’re gonna hate me more than they already do. H says hold the gaming systems hostage so they have a reason to come home over break, ha ha.
I am surprised at how many parents are still trying to control their college-aged kids over something like video games. Don’t you trust your kids to make good decisions about their time management? If not, why are you sending them away to college? Are you also going to put parental controls on their laptops so that they can’t play online games? or watch porn?
I also don’t buy the argument that having a video games system means that you can’t keep other kids out of your room. Don’t you trust your kid to say “get out, I’ve got to study”? And what if the roommate brings a system?
To me, this smacks of another example of helicopter parenting. Please allow your children to grow up, make their own decisions and take care of their own time management.
And, I am the first to say that my kid does many things that I don’t approve of while he is away at college. But he is an adult and I have to let him make adult decision. I have discussed negative consequences with him and pray for him every day. But I can’t control him - just love him.
^^Yeah, I’m not trying to control it, really.
More nudge.
Like, this is not the gaming central dorm room you are looking for.
I really disagree with this. So many students have gaming devices that it’s hard for one room to become THE gaming room.
Yes, there were a few students that we knew were gaming at most times but when they wanted to study or whatever, they kicked people out and closed the door. People didn’t knock on closed doors in order to game.
I think people are blowing this way, way out of proportion and not giving college students enough credit. Students aren’t going to demand to game when the owner of the gaming device is studying. Chill.
I wouldn’t want the game console in my S’s dorm room. I have 3 sons–one out of college for years, two currently in college. We’ve never had a game console, but two of my sons are/have been very heavy users of online games. A laptop is enough. They’ve wasted countless hours. One of them is on a university gaming team. He has kept his grades up enough to keep his scholarship, but imo his lifestyle is unhealthy, and he could be doing better. Yeah, I’d say he’s an addict–as was his older brother–whose college roommate flunked out due to gaming addiction. Their attachment to gaming keeps them from doing more productive things. Older son has been working full time since he graduated, and has cut down a lot on his gaming in the last few years, so I guess there is hope for the younger son. Middle son is a casual player of different types of games, and has more self discipline to get his work done first, has a higher gpa. A lot of people have things they become “obsessed” with and waste time on–could be crossword puzzles/sudoku, sports, CC, etc., but this is something new. And as a parent, it frustrates me to watch. I have gone from trying to control it in the early days, to letting go and thinking–“could be worse, could be alcohol, drugs. . .” Even gone as far as taking interest in, bragging about S’s top ranked team. (I’d brag about Ds’ sports teams and other activities like theater, orchestra, etc.–so how is this “time wasting activity”/hobby different?)
Yes, they are in charge of themselves, they are functioning just fine, but I see a lot of wasted potential.
^ yes, I found myself bragging that my S is a nationally ranked player in his specific game to my hairdresser, who is also a gamer. That, plus my H having helped design his favorite games scored me an extra long head massage and a terrific haircut! haha