<p>I’ve found that if you have a good relationship with the kids, they’ll stay with you even if you’re a woman (if the patient is a boy). Many girls, though, don’t want a male pediatrician or family doctor after a certain point, but if the mom likes the male doctor, they usually don’t want to switch and it usually works out, again, if the male doc has a good relationship with the girl. </p>
<p>I haven’t had that happen either. I would just think the doctor was really careful to give the patient a chance to say what he wanted to say without parents present. Makes sense to me to have a few minutes alone with the patient. </p>
<p>Romani - I’m very happy not to be able to relate to such a situation. And, I didn’t just take my to kid the Dr. without knowing exactly why we were going. A stomach ache wouldn’t have got us there. I also cannot imagine her trying to deceive me into an STD check. Maybe, we’re lucky. On the other hand if she had some weird rash she’d be handing me a magnifying glass…so. maybe not so much.</p>
<p>After 18, I can’t get info on the phone but I’ve never been asked to leave, either. My son started going on his own at about 16 because he drove. I always went with my D and I always went in. This never came up. Thankfully.</p>
<p>My kids both saw a pediatrician till they were 18-19, then they saw the same family practice Dr I see.
It help, IMO for the same Dr to see everyone in the family.
My younger daughter had a health clinic in her high school, we signed a consent form for her to be seen whenever she requested.
Do other areas have health clinics in high schools?</p>
<p>When my d became a later teen I always made a point of leaving for part of the visit so that, if she did have any questions she was uncomfortable asking in front of me, she could do so without embarrassment. I believe we have a good relationship - but sometimes a teen wants to talk to an impartial party, and I’d prefer she get input from a physician rather than just from her teenage friends. NJres - it is standard practice to have a nurse or other assistant in the room (regardless of the age of the patient ). This is as much to protect the dr. from false accusations as it is to protect the patient. </p>
<p>My kids started to see the pediatrician for their annual physicals alone at around 15. When the exam was done their doctor would call me in for a brief conversation covering anything that was not confidential. My kids and I discuss a lot of things openly, but I want them to have the space to discuss private health matters with their MD. I also know my son would be uncomfortable with me in the exam room no matter how much I reassured him I wouldn’t peek when he was being examined.</p>
<p>This is interesting. My kids never had a regular doctor so they were unlikely to want to tell this stranger much of anything. They were usually sick and wanted to get the heck out of there and go home. But, yeah, it would have been weird with my son. But, that never happened.</p>
<p>For us, our kids always had sometime with just them and the MD, so they could discuss matters that they may not want a parent to overhear. I was fine with it, as were the kids. I think it’s an important part of them becoming self-advocates. I would often be in the room part of the time and then would leave part of the time for it to be time with just the two of them. It does vary by MD–the allergist and infectious disease docs want me there the whole time.</p>
<p>actingmt - sometimes it’s not so much a matter of what the teen wants to tell the doctor, but what the doctor wants to say to the teen, such as, “I want you to know that if you ever have any concerns regarding your health and don’t feel safe bringing them up to your parents, you can always call my office and … (fill in the office policy of reaching the doctor) And we will keep your information confidential”. There are parents out there that would feel threatened by this. So it’s not so much what the teen is telling the doctor, as it is the doctor trying to build a trusting relationship with the teen in case the teen does need this service at some point. </p>
<p>Did they go for well child care/ immunizations?
Its handy to have a relationship with a trusted physician, imo.</p>
<p>Well, that doesn’t make me feel threatened in the least but I am glad to report that my kids would feel much more comfortable talking to me than to the doctor. Again, they never had a relationship with any physician at that age. We were doctor hoppers. I get why physicians feel the need to do this but when the child is underage I’m not sure I like it. But we never had the experience. </p>
<p>It’s a new requirement of HIPAA. Doctors apply it differently, but any kid 13 and up can have an exam without a parent present. Our kids’ doctor does the exam with just the kid, then invites the parent into the room to ask any questions they want. Our D had to sign a form giving permission for us to know any test results.</p>
<p>They got was what was required but that was pretty much over by middle school. S had some sports physicals. D had some sinus infections and BC for cramps in high school. I was in the exam room, but I wouldn’t have cared one way or the other, necessarily. We changed insurance a couple of times in there and no one in town likes the GP but for a low medical need family it was convenient. </p>
<p>I stopped going into the exam room when the boys were 14/15 ish. At 16 they had their drivers licenses so I had no reason to even go to the building. I figured their doctor wanted to talk to them about guy stuff and the last thing they needed was their mother sitting there :-). </p>
<p>I totally agree with momofthreeboys. At some point you want your kids to take responsibility for their health, and you want to empower them to ask questions without you – whether it needs to be confidential (ie, sex or drugs) or not.</p>
<p>True about empowering kids to take care of their needs. I still like a parent in the room for my questions about family history (esp re cardiac deaths/arrythmias and cancer histories) and to see what questions the parent may have. Too many times we get a call after a checkup-- “Did he ask about X? He was supposed ask about X!” or “Where’s the form we need for football? What? He didn’t bring the form??” We end up being inefficient instead of efficient, both from our perspective as well as the parents’. So if there are any questions, I like to at least have a parent in the room for a little while, or in the waiting room, or even send a note with things I’m supposed to go into!</p>
<p>I recently had the opposite experience. My 17 2/3 year old middle child needed a to make an appointment for the 2nd vaccine in a series (I was at the office when he got the first). I asked if he could come by himself if I gave written permission for the vaccine (easier for him to work around only his schedule instead of both of our schedules). I was told by the office that I needed to be there until he was 18. </p>
<p>I was usually in the room with the doctor at some point when my kids were that age, just to give an accurate medical history. They couldn’t remember and couldn’t be expected to remember what childhood diseases they’d had, etc. </p>
<p>I would say, kids know you are the mom (or the dad). They should know they can turn to you if they need advice, are scared, need moral support. Heck I have a 25 year old that still calls me if he’s had to go get stitches or is sick BUT you also need to continually give your kids some space to learn about themselves, their bodies, to feel comfortable talking to other adults. The high school years are the perfect four years to “teach” them about co-pays, insurance cards, to give them space to learn to talk to other adults AND to continue to be there if and when they want to share. Unless there is a terribly dysfunctional situation they would tell you if something were wrong that required medical intervention - because they will want your opinion or your help. BTW I’m assuming the 25 year old will stop calling me when he gets married…let’s hope so. </p>