<p>My D broke up with her BF of over a year about a 2 months before prom. They had been planning all along to go to the prom, she had all sorts of plans for the dress etc. The BF asked her several more times, but she was concerned about giving fuzzy messages and she declined.</p>
<p>By the time the prom rolled around, they were good friends & she helped him pick out a tux; yet, when her girlfriends called her to go stag to the prom she decided not to do that. In fairness, DD graduated early so does not go to that school any more, so in her case it was making the right decision.</p>
<p>It was a very interesting example of people actually becoming friends after romance.</p>
<p>I agree with Northstarmom. I would also have my daughter decline the invitation at this point. My daughter went with someone that wanted to go with someone else, neither one of them knew how to get out of it gracefully, and my daughter had a miserable time. It took them over a year to repair the relationship. I told her to just go with him because it was too late to change the plan, but in hind sight she should have gone with someone else or not at all. Cost of a dress is cheap relative to be treated badly even just for an evening (the boy could end up hooking up with another girl, or expect your daughter to do things she’s not prepared to do).</p>
<p>She won’t be going to any house parties. They’ll be going to the afterprom put on at the school which is heavily chaperoned. My daughter has very clear ideals of her own personal behavior by the way. No sex, do alcohol, no drugs. I know a lot of kids start out thinking that way when they are young, but she has deeply held religious beliefs and is just not a party kid. Her date, for all my concerns about him turning into a cad, has never pushed her in any way sexually, and has always had her home 30 minutes ahead of her curfew. There isn’t another girl. I think he just really felt a lot of end of year pressure, knew the break up was inevitible and acted impulsively on the timing. They’re not going to get back together as gf/bf, but she said things felt very comfortable today as friends.</p>
<p>I had a really similar thing happen my senior year in h.s. Bf asked me to homecoming (dinner out, game, and after party). We were in that weird “Bf/Gf but free to date other people” relationship. So, he pretty much dropped me and started hanging out with another girl before Homecoming time came. He had one of his friends ask me to go to homecoming with him instead. <grrrr> I wouldn’t let him out of it. We had been off and on together all through high school and he had never taken me to homecoming and I wanted to go. Okay, maybe I also hoped we would get back together.</grrrr></p>
<p>Before homecoming I was telling a guy in my government class about my woes and he told me he wished he didn’t already have a date because he wished he could take me.</p>
<p>Went to homecoming with old Bf and he was actually very nice (figured he may as well have a good time, I guess). The next week I went out with guy in government class to make him jealous. It worked, but alas, I fell in love with guy in government class and married him…and he’s sleeping in the recliner across the room right now. :-)</p>
<p>Just one more reason why freshmen girls shouldn’t date senior boys. Huge emotional difference between those two age groups. She’d be better off bowing out, hanging out with friends/family and ‘revisiting’ the dress after she is free of the emotion of this particular situation. She WILL get over this! Agree that she’d be taking the high road by opting out, since it’s HIS senior prom. </p>
<p>Boys get in so over their heads with this kind of thing…Most of the time, they just don’t get it! Either they don’t listen to the wisdom offered by their moms or they don’t have the right kind of mom to help! </p>
<p>He IS right that the relationship should end if he’s going off to college and she’s going to be a h.s. soph! Give him credit for that!</p>
<p>Can I give my daughter some credit too? That’s been her plan all along, it just was the early timing before prom that became the issue. Yes, she did have emotions invested in this relationship, but he was the one saying “I love you”, not her. In her words, “it’s loving-ish, it’s nice, but I’m not in love with him.” I think the disconnect for her was the suddeness of the breakup, and that he seemed to not get why she was upset. No doubt he had a significant advantage over her being three years older and knowing from experience that breakups can be recovered from, sometimes very quickly. As for opting out, they’ve worked things out and he does want her to go. This was never about him wanting to go with another girl. It was about things being uncomfortable in the time period after a sudden breakup where they didn’t really know how to talk to each other. He got upset that it seemed they couldn’t even be friends, why was she treating him so coldly, etc. They have been able to talk and move past that and things seem okay now, as just friends.</p>
<p>Freshman are too young to be in love. It’s puppy love. When she gets older she’ll see her perception of being “in love” grow to unprecedented heights. I’m unsure why he asked her so early in the first place, this is historically a BAD idea, bc stuff like this happens. She’s got a potetnial 3 more proms to go to, let her wear the dress next year! She doesn’t want to see that jerk anyways and, unless her friends are older/freshman who also got asked, she’s just gonna be a tagalong. He knew he was gonna end it like this, he might have simply taken advantage of her. Really freshman and seniors, no. Plus it shows he didn’t really love her in the first place to even TRY once he graduates. </p>
<p>No, really. Wear the dress to HER prom, and make him pay for the ticket if he hasn’t already.</p>
<p>Timely, love your love story. It sounds like thing worked out just right for you.</p>
<p>Electronblue - so glad everything is working out for your D. It sounds like she really wanted to go, and now that they’ve cleared the air between them, they should be fine going as friends.</p>