prom etiquette

<p>S. has decided to attend his school's prom. Neither he nor his date have attended before (nor did H or I), and he's not 100% sure about all it entails. They'll be going with a small group of friends.
He knows he is responsible for tickets, limo, suit, (good manners:) ), and flowers for his date. He's not sure about the details, though -- do boys wait for the girls to choose a dress before renting a suit, who chooses her corsage or wrist thing (do girls still wear those?), etc. Think he'd better have the girls fill him in. Also, do parents ever chip in for anything? We have no idea.</p>

<p>If they are friends, they generally split the price of tickets. As soon as she picks out her dress, he should ask if she wants a wrist corsage or pin on kind and ask what color. The florist (and do this at least a week ahead of time so they have you in the books) will help design a pretty corsage using the colors of choice. Get the boutonniere (the guy's little lapel flowers) at the same time so they match, but let the girl know so she does get something else. Also, as soon as she knows color of her dress, he can pick out tux with color matching/complimentary vest-tie combo. The bow-tie/cummerbund is not as popular these days as the vest/tie combo. If the girl is dithering and isn't going to get a dress until the last minute, just get the regular standby of a black tux, black vest/tie. He can find out her fav flowers or color and do the corsage based on that. Corsages can be customized a few days ahead of time, but talk to your florist. Prices run less than $40 for corsage and boutonniere together.</p>

<p>The limo can be ditched. Just drive. Unless there is any risk of drinking, the limo is a waste of ALOT of money. It's only worth it if it is a group going together. </p>

<p>We paid for s's tux and flowers, just because. Often the girl's parents will have a little get-together the evening of the prom so everyone can come take pictures. If they don't ask you, call them and ask if you can come over and take pictures before the kids leave. This is really no big deal to do, and you should ask if you want pics, b/c they won't have time to go to both houses!</p>

<p>In the case that the date attends another school or is in another grade and it is therefore not her prom, he should pay for both tickets. If it is the class prom for both of them, they should split the tickets.</p>

<p>My D is going to a prom this weekend. It's not hers...she's a junior, but she has been asked by a senior. So, although we have offered to chip in, he has kindly refused. I think chipping in is more expected when it's both parties' prom. If a boy/girl from another grade/school is asked to someone else's prom, the responsibility for payment is on the person whose prom it is, I think. But it's nice to offer. One of the boys who is in my D's limo group is hosting a pre-prom picture opp. get-together at his house. I'm happy because this is the parents' one opportunity to see other kids in their finery. I love the idea of a promenade where all of the kids are announced, and then 'walk' for the parents to see. Our school is too big, though. It would take forever, and the prom is held miles away from the school.</p>

<p>I can help with this! As of two weeks ago, I knew nothing, and had to have a crash course in prom etiquette. my 15 year old D. who goes to private school was invited by a 17 year old public school kid. He paid for the tickets. She hadn't picked a dress out by the time they asked for colors etc, so I told the Mom of the boy just to go with a black/grey tux for him, and we both went for white flowers. His bouteniere (sp?) I ordered a week in advance, it was only $8. He gave her a white wrist corsage. His parents drove (I made the "no teenage drivers" rule) and they took pictures at a relative's house. She had Saturday classes the next day and was home by midnight, but most of the kids went on to post prom parties, which I was happy she skipped. Altogether it was pretty painless.</p>

<p>My D also has an early commitment on Saturday...a rehearsal at 8am. She's disgusted, and I'm happy! Many of the kids here (NJ) go 'down the shore' after prom, and wildness ensues. I'm allowing her to go down to the beach after her rehearsal on Saturday, but she must be back Saturday night.</p>

<p>About the limo - yes, if they're going as a group, get the limo. Also, remember that different schools have different rules for driving. At d's school, students are not allowed to drive themselves. If they do, they are not permitted into the prom. This is to cut down on drunk driving. So kids either come by limo or parents drive. Guess which one is usually chosen?</p>

<p>My d went as friends with her date; they aren't a "couple". It was both their prom. They split everything. He picked up tickets, she paid their share of the limo, etc. It worked out really well.</p>

<p>In my opinion, the limo is justified provided that 1) the students plan to go on to other destinations after the prom, and 2) the limo will be available all night to get them to those places.</p>

<p>The idea here is to avoid having inexperienced teenage drivers driving in the middle of the night when they're exhausted. Drowsy driving can be as dangerous as drunk driving.</p>

<p>Limos are only even close to affordable, though, if shared by a substantial group.</p>

<p>FYI if your son is going to go to more than one prom or formal occasion, look into buying a tux versus renting. Got one at Men's Warehouse for under $300, plus maybe $75 for the shirt, tie, etc., which he's already worn to 2 proms and a formal wedding. Plus it really fits him.</p>

<p>Slightly off-topic: </p>

My D also has an early commitment on Saturday...a rehearsal at 8am. She's disgusted, and I'm happy!


<p>I took the SAT the morning after prom, and stayed up all night a post-prom party, too. Things weren't as stressed out in the Pleistocene.</p>

I took the SAT the morning after prom

So did I. My school didn't do the best planning that year... They've since changed it to a week earlier.</p>

<p>Between my two sons we've done 5 proms. My sons asked their dates about their dresses beforehand. They tried to compliment their dress colors with their ties and the corsage. On one occasion the girl told my son what her favorite flower was so that's what he got for her. On another they wanted "matching" flowers so we ended up going through the same florist. Son paid for corsage, tickets, and dinner. She paid for his flower. Neither of them wanted professional pictures, both her parents and we took plenty of pictures beforehand. Sons did not stay out late when they went to prom their junior years (after prom partying) but last month younger did go out as a senior and came home around 3/4. They never did the limo thing, although they met up with groups at the pre-prom dinner (restaurant or someone's house). My sons both have very nice black suits so they never did rent a tux. Most of the time, they ended up doing a black on black ensemble, with a complimentary tie. All five proms my sons drove themselves and their dates.</p>

<p>I KNEW I'd find assistance here on CC - thanks! Will have S. read through your pointers later this evening. It was sort of a last minute decision--
We willl definitely offer to drive, though hear one boy's family is already looking into a limo. The prom is being held in towards the city, about an hour from home (wish it was closer). They won't be attending post-prom 'festivities,' (almost two hours in the OPPOSITE direction, of course) which is OK with us.</p>

<p>If you get a limo, make sure to ask the company about their policies with minors and/or with prom night. Some limo companies won't make any stops for kids, for example, so if someone has to go to the bathroom during that 1 hour trip, he'd be out of luck. Other limos require that the divider between front and back remain down. Some won't allow people to bring their own drinks in the limo. All the rules have logical reasons, but they can often be very annoying for students who aren't planning on drinking or partying (and I'm sure even more annoying for students who are! ;)).</p>

<p>The most important thing of all, is for them to have a great time and stay safe. For it to truly be a night they remember fondly.</p>

<p>doubleplay, that's interesting about the proms at your school. D's proms all were dinner affairs, so there was no "pre-prom dinner". And the after-prom parties were held at the high school.</p>

<p>I grew up in the same vicinity as my kids have and we always had to go out to restaurants or people's houses beforehand as well. We live in a tourist mecca though so there are plenty of eating establishments everywhere; even so, adults avoid some of the more popular restaurants that don't take reservations on prom nights or they're liable to have to wait a long time.</p>

<p>When I was growing up the thing to do was to rent hotel rooms on the beach after prom. I think that's gone out now, at least at my kid's school. Of course, mine went to a private school and some of their cohort's homes are really small palaces, so a dank and dingy hotel room is not so appealling nowadays.</p>

<p>I've seen some high schools have their prom at Universal's City Walk. Now THAT would be some place to have a blast!</p>

<p>The hotel room at the beach scene is very live around here. My son's prom is Thursday night, and most of his friends are spending Friday-Sunday at the shore. Unfortunately, my son has a recital Saturday and Sunday, with dress rehersal Friday afternoon, so he's sort of SOL. (I'm very, very sorry for him, of course.)</p>

<p>My kids have been part of the same dance program for 14 years, ending Sunday, and this will be the 14th year that the end-of-year recital has interfered with something they wished it wouldn't have.</p>

<p>JHS, are you being facetious when you say you're very, very sorry for him?</p>

<p>Anyway, with all that dance in the background, I'll bet your kids TEAR UP the dance floor at prom!</p>

<p>My S asked a friend from another HS. He paid for her ticket and corsage (which he would have even if she was from our school), as did all the boys in the group, and then all 14 kids paid equal share of the ugly Hummer Limo.</p>