<p>My dear darling son waited too long to ask junior year (I told him so!) and the girl he was interested in asking got taken. (Honestly, son, what did you expect? A girl needs time to plan!)
He survived, asked someone else and had a great time . The following year he asked a lot earlier…</p>
<p>I now have a teenaged son and I’m learning from this. I’m kind of leaning toward providing him more information about things that would never cross his mind and letting him make his own decisioins.</p>
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<p>This is a wonderful way of putting it. The OP should give her son information about when a girl might want to know so she can get dress, etc ready. But then the OP should let her son make the decision.</p>
<p>And that is a great skill in life as well. Give the information to someone else, but let them make the decision.</p>
<p>Engineer wrote:</p>
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<p>LOL!</p>
<p>I think we have now gotten to the root of the problems with your in-laws. :D</p>
<p>Engineer–a coin toss? You really are clueless—I mean WAS clueless—I’m sure your wife has set you straight on a few things about women (beginning with that prom!)</p>
<p>zooser, you made my day with that reading of this title. I absolutely think ds would listen to you rather than me.</p>
<p>I like the idea of making sure he see it through her eyes. She’s pretty tiny and no doubt will have to have that dress altered. And I hadn’t even thought of making the dinner reservations. Probably no limo in this crowd, not junior year at least. He is nothing if not vain so the whole tuxedo thing will make an impression. Of course, there’s no reason why he couldn’t find his tux ahead of time like he assumes the girl is doing with the dress. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Part of the problem is that almost all his bffs have girlfriends so it’s pretty much a given for them, and he’s taking his lead from them. He’s obviously a little on the shy/insecure side when it comes to girls and so he’s not going to be the leader in this case. I also know a couple of girls have pressured him into trying for the “Best Ask Award.” I hate this trend of the fancy ask. Too much pressure on the boy and the girl.</p>
<p>Funny that someone mentioned Harry Potter. Whenever my dh weighs in, he says, “Two words: Cho Chang.” :)</p>
<p>I think I’ll drop it until next week, which will be a month out, and try again then. I can’t believe some of y’all’s daughters were asked more than two months in advance. They must be hawt! ;)</p>
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My D is very tiny, too, and I can say that it definitely added time to the dress shopping. There was no way on God’s earth that we could get a straight off the rack dress to fit her and alterations appointments book up, too, believe it or not.</p>
<p>Actually, that was part of my son’s problem–all his buds had gf’s so their dates were a bit of a given. And I pointed that out too at the time. Like I said, the next year he had it figured out!</p>
<p>Down to the wire, here, too. It’s 3 1/2 weeks away, but one of those weeks is spring break, which only gives the girl 2 weeks to find a dress. I think my son’s problem is he doesn’t know which girl to ask.</p>
<p>OP,
If I were you, I’d inform S of the potential consequences of waiting, and suggest that if he does not want to formally ask her right now (maybe because it makes him look too eager or interested?), then he should have one of his friends tell the girl that S will be asking her in a formal way later.</p>
<p>My ds has had his eye on this girl for quite awhile, after learning she’s liked him for almost a year. In fact, I have pics of them together at his birthday party a year ago, and another mom commented, “I think she likes him!” Turns out she did.</p>
<p>The feminist in me doesn’t want him to take her and her feelings for granted (maybe she’ll ask him!!!). And the Southerner in me thinks it’s just not nice to wait so long. And I don’t really think he’s doing that; I think he’s nervous about asking her on his first date ever. But he needs to man up and get over that because I think it comes across as arrogant – like he always says to me, “I got this, Mom.” He bemoans that they haven’t spent any time alone together because they’re always in a pack, but we all know he could make it happen if he really wanted to.</p>
<p>When ds1 left for college from spring break, his parting words to ds2 were: “Don’t wait too long.” I thought that was so funny. He learned that senior year. He identified who he wanted to ask but kind of dragged his feet about it. On a Wednesday about a month out, I told him he shouldn’t wait much longer, and he said it would do it next week. I just said OK and turned. That Friday, he asked her. The next week, I went to a parent mtg at school, and multiple moms came up to me to say my ds had broken the heart of a number of boys who wanted to ask her that week. They snoozed, they lost. And when I told ds1 that story he felt so happy and proud and relieved that he’d mustered up the courage before the rest of them did.</p>
<p>Bay, that’s absolutely what he’s counting on. One of his best friends dates her bff, so I think they’ve got it all arranged. I just don’t want him to act like he doesn’t need to try a little harder here. Can you tell I hate arrogance???</p>
<p>Whenever he decides to ask, he may want to consider asking her out before prom, so prom is not their first date. Ideally, he could ask about prom first and then ask about a prior date.</p>
<p>That was my experience back in the day.</p>
<p>Great point Ohio. Maybe they should go out for something casual. THat would also signal intent.</p>
<p>Oh, trust me, we’ve suggested this. Spring break would have been a perfect time because then no one would have “known their business.” I said he could bring her to a couple of family parties where none of their friends would be and they wouldn’t have to be the subject of gossip (well, other than ours). I think he’s just too shy.</p>
<p>What about a group date then? That’s what we did. Maybe something like bowling, even with one other couple. It will break the ice for prom.</p>
<p>I wish someone would ask ME to go bowling.</p>
<p>This thread is enlightening. I thought the mothers of boys didn’t even have to think about this stuff.</p>
<p>Learn something new every day.</p>
<p>^Laugh out loud. (bowling)</p>
<p>That’s the quandary, poetgrl. It’s not REALLY my business, but it is my business to raise a good man. And I think teaching him how to be a good date/partner kind of is my business. If he gets married and doesn’t cook or clean or do laundry, it’s not because I didn’t teach him!</p>
<p>Oh no. As the mother of two daughters, I appreciate it.</p>