<p>I certainly didn’t get my hair done. I don’t even remember what I wore, but I remember being stressed because I only found out about a week before. DH wore his suit so I must have worn a skirt or dress. </p>
<p>Everyone who’s “from” here says they’ve always done it that way. The kids didn’t seem to mind (I think the girls enjoyed the father/daughter dance; not so sure about how the boys felt about the mother/son one) but it was amusing to see (and hear later from my D) how they really had to ask & escort some lingering parents about 15 minutes after the majority left.</p>
<p>If D2 goes to the prom, we’ll go again too. Except this time I’ll be prepared & we’re buds with a lot of D2’s friends parents so we’ll probably go hang out in the hotel restaurant and have a great dinner & drinks ;)</p>
<p>We have a separate prom for juniors and seniors, no parents or limos or all that – but one interesting local custom is the Prom Potluck. It’s considered fairly lame to go to dinner, instead, you have 10-15 other couples all at one home, shared dinner, and then as everyone prepares to leave parents are invited to show up at the house and take photos. It’s very festive and fun and then we all stay at the host house and help clean up. Between prom and the afterparty, there’s a Chill and Change tradition where <em>another</em> home hosts all the same group for switching out of formalwear into street clothes for the all-night party. (This year we are the C&C location!) When we first moved here I thought it was so strange that these very well-to-do families (because you need a big house for dinner) were wrestling over who had the “honor” of hosting a potluck dinner.</p>
<p>I taught my sons to cook, to clean, and to do laundry. I tell them no self-respecting girl wants a guy who can’t make himself useful. My husband has taught them to open doors, walk on the outside, watch their mouths, and be respectful to her parents because no self-respecting girl wants a guy who thinks she is his buddy. So far, so good…</p>
<p>Better Now Than When I Was in HS: You don’t have to be a couple, kids can go in groups or just as friends, etc. so there may not always be all that “date” pressure</p>
<p>Our school plans a huge post prom party to keep the kids safe on prom night, so no worries about escapades and also no worries that you will be the only kid not allowed to go to the shore/hotel/drinking party after prom.</p>
<p>The dresses - seriously, every single girl in the promenade on TV looked great! There is such a variety of gowns to suit every body type. No Gunne Sax frocks to be found!</p>
<p>The TV Taping. Our local school channel tapes the couples as they enter and braodcasts it on local cable. It is adorable.</p>
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<p>WORSE now than when I was in HS:</p>
<p>The “promposal” or “big ask”: This is CRAZY! Way to make the prom much more important than it should be. Just like a marriage should mean more than a fancy wedding, kids should think prom is about having a fun night, not some over the top “ask.”</p>
<p>The Hair/nails/makeup explosion. I didn’t have a manicure until my wedding day. Why are all these girls having all these professional services? Everything in society today has to be more more more!</p>
<p>The TV Taping - see above. While it is adorable, I think I would CRINGE if someone unearthed a tape of me at my prom. WIll anyone want to go back and look at this years later?</p>
<p>My D’s big group of friends went as a group - I think they had the limos booked by December. They started buying dresses in January and February. I loved loved loved the idea that they were all going, without a question, date or no. A couple were dating someone, a few were asked, a few asked friends, a couple dug up boys from who knows where, and a few had no dates. They all sat together and one girl (with wealthy and generous relatives) invited them all (plus a few more kids) to a wonderful party.</p>
<p>I made both of my prom dresses. Not Gunne Sax…that was my wedding dress from my first wedding. When my oldest daughter first went shopping for banquet dresses (short formals), I realized that I had NEVER done that…made all banquet and prom dresses and my first wedding dress; I had the second one made for me. I’m positive that when D’s prom dress was way above budget I bought it anyway. (But she did get to wear it twice.)</p>
<p>At our school, if your date isn’t a student at the school, they can’t be over a cetain age, and the student has to turn in the date’s name and DL# in advance for a background check. I don’t know if anyone has ever been turned down (or has backed out upon hearing about the background check) but I guess it’s a good idea.</p>
<p>Missy, I made my senior prom dress, too. Junior year I put a new bodice on my sister’s old prom dress. If not a Gunne Sax pattern, it was at least that style.</p>
<p>You know, though, fabric and notions were cheap back then. They aren’t any more. I doubt I could have made a dress for d1’s prom and saved any money. I made two madrigal costumes, and even with careful shopping and buying fabric overseas at $3/meter, I was well over $150 in just supplies!</p>
<p>my daughter bought her prom dress September of her senior year! I remember asking her…will it still fit? will you have a date? will you still LIKE the dress.>></p>
<p>LOL. My DD bought hers in Dec of junior year. We were out of state at a wedding and she saw it on clearance for $30. It hung in the closet for 1 1/2 years.</p>
<p>As far as when to ask, that seems to vary somewhat regionally. The only concern would be if restaurant and limo reservations fill up early. My youngest was going with a group and the person that was organizing it all bailed about 10 days beforehand. She ended up finding a party bus and a restaurant, but it took some doing.</p>
<p>I wonder whether this is all about the Big Ask–a custom I really don’t like, but that has become pretty common. It may be that OP’s son is waiting to do the Big Ask, but that it has already been fixed up and established who he will ask and what her answer will be. It may be that the girls have this part of it fully managed. Of course, if they don’t, the Big Ask can go embarrassingly wrong.</p>
<p>YDS, you wouldn’t be butting in. You’re simply doing your job as mom. :). Moms are their sons’ first female influence. I always felt that if I didn’t teach my S what was right, how would he learn how to treat girls/women?</p>
<p>D has missed out on the “Big Ask” as BF goes to a different school. But kids around here ask about 2 months prior at least. It does take a while to get limo’s and prom groups worked out.</p>
<p>YDS, as you know, my son has Asperger’s. He is also fortunate to have had the same GF for four years (basically the only SO for both of them.) In the beginning and really up until recently, I totally guided him through the prom, banquet and gift giving process. I didn’t want him to lose a perfectly good GF because he didn’t order flowers or ask soon enough or didn’t remember her birthday or bought her something thoughtless for Christmas. They’ve been together long enough now that he knows what she likes, but because I am the mother of The Ultimate Mr. Clueless, I was more involved than the typical mother.</p>
<p>OK, I couldn’t wait and said something last night, as he was well-fed and in a good mood. :)</p>
<p>I told him I won’t say another word after tonight, (what was I thinking?), but that this feels like a teachable moment for him. I said that I really have concerns about waiting until mid-April to ask her – and he interjects, No, we’re all asking in early April now. Well, that took the wind out of my sails. But I went ahead with why he needs to be respectful and not take this for granted and what about restaurant reservations (he hadn’t even considered that), blah blah blah. </p>
<p>The saddest part for me is that he says that they likely won’t become a couple as they just don’t have time to date. What’s up with that? Oh well. I guess he doesn’t like her as much as he thought.</p>
<p>Your son has plenty of years left to find someone special. How many of us have seen high school couples who spend too much time together? I’m sure your son has plenty of friends and high school accomplishments. I say this as the mother of a son, who broke up with his long-term girlfriend 9 months ago, and is doing just fine.</p>
<p>Last year, after Prom, after Graduation, my older D started dating the nicest guy she has dated so far. It lasted only a couple of months, as they were going to colleges many states apart from each other. Sigh.</p>
<p>My boys are just so different from me. I’m getting used to that. I dated a LOT in HS. How else are you going to find out what you like and what you don’t. To learn how to treat others and learn how you want to be treated. In HS it’s low-stakes and seems like the perfect time to figure some of this out. But now we’re getting back to the late-bloomer thread. I’m not really worried; it’s just different from how I thought it would be. :)</p>
<p>YDS, you don’t want them to become a couple–really. Last year, my daughter, a junior, went to prom with a senior. They had dated a couple of times prior to prom. They “fell in love” and became a couple right after prom. Had a glorious summer together and decided to try and keep the relationship together even though he was going away to college eight hours away. They made it one semester and after Winter Break he decided that it was too difficult to maintain this relationship and it was hindering the fun he could be having in college. Daughter is heartbroken but moving on. She has started talking to a nice boy in her class and they may go to prom this year, who knows, but she has already told him she doesn’t want a serious relationship because, a) she just got out of one and b) they are both going to college in a few months and she learned from the last relationship it’s better to go into college with no attachments.</p>
<p>We went out about a month ago to look for dresses. Nothing was out. We just went two nights ago and most spots were completely picked over! Most girls have their dresses around here, although none of the boys have asked yet. Prom’s second week in May and the boys usually start asking in the next couple of weeks. I really enjoyed this whole process better with my son. The girls are killing me!</p>