<p>My son and his friends are a great group of kids and don’t generally give me a cause for concern. That said…it’s prom season. There is a group of about 12 couples going to the prom together and the next day they want to rent a cabin about 3 hours away and spend the night. I said no and explained my reasoning. He isn’t fighting me on it, but he isn’t happy about it either. I’m having a hard time believing that all of the other parents will say yes, I’ll find out soon enough. I also know that soon enough he will be away and making these decisions on his own. But until then…I don’t see the need.</p>
<p>What is the normal prom practice in your area? Is it a whole weekend event? Way back in the day, we did the prom one night and a picnic at the local park the next day. Times are changing.</p>
<p>Jeepers…I was just thinking that if my senior son asked to attend an overnight and I knew the parents that I just might say yes. (I said no last year). Now ‘tired already’ is throwing me a new loop with her son’s request to stay at a cabin. I would be surprised if all the parents say yes (esp. the girls). My biggest fear would be alcohol poisoning and the remote location. (there may not be cell phone coverage) I would be a mean mommy and say NO. If it was 4 or 5 guys going for a summer weekend then the group is small enough where someone would notice a kid passed out by the woodpile. But 24 is too large a number.</p>
<p>I am so not ready for my kids to do the stupid things we did as 18 year olds.</p>
<p>After some discussion, we are not allowing the overnight (2 nights in our case). In our case it is a hotel near the beach and it involves teen driving. My biggest fears are sleep deprived teens and driving, although I worry about drinking and driving, and drinking and boating/swimming types of accidents as well. My son did not put up a fight when we told him that he cannot participate.</p>
<p>Our son wanted to go on a coed trip to a lake house after graduation–and we resisted, until it turned out that no girls would be going. We then let him go, and it turned out OK. But it was a fairly tame group of guys.</p>
<p>I am curious what the other parents told the Op. Tired already did call on the other parents, right, or soon will?
Knowing a child will pllay one against the other, I’d want to speak to a parent directly, and might not feel completely comfortable if one child told me someone else’s parents had given the “ok”</p>
<p>Our community often times hires a church rec center for a Prom overnight. The upper hallways are locked off, keeping kids on the main floor. Very well chaperoned. No one is permitted to leave unless a parent is picking them up. I’d have no objections to that. But renting a hotel room(or “cabin”) for teen couples? No, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.</p>
<p>No way. Even with the best of kids we all know what kind of stuff can happen. I have 4 kids; 14,20, and twins who are 25. One of the twins teaches high school. It is very funny because the older ones (who were very good kids but certainly had their share of cases of bad judgement in high school) are constantly telling me what NOT to let the 14 year old do- he hates it! An unsupervised all-nighter after prom would definitely be on their no list. The teacher tells me things she finds out from her students that you wouldn’t believe- and they are all “good” kids…</p>
<p>Any parents going along? That was a favorite after prom thing when my oldest graduated high school but the kids were going to family cabins and the parents went along to their cabins to protect their “interests”. If it was just kids renting a cabin without parents, I’d be talking to the other parents to get collective thoughts.</p>
<p>I would say no, but in my experience I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the parents allow it. The old argument that they will be in college soon anyway never resonated with me. They are still in HS, still mostly an underaged group and still the responsibility of the parents were anything to go wrong. But, knowing what goes on, I would be concerned about my own kid and wouldn’t care about what anyone else is doing.</p>
<p>There is also the liability issue for whoever rents the cabin. In our area, hotels have stopped renting to after-prom parties because of all of the problems. If there ends up being alcohol there, the renters are the responsible party and could have legal issues. Another issue is if they are seniors, there could be 18 year olds (adults) mixed with minors which opens up other legal issues. As a parent I would not want to put myself in that position from a liability stand-point.</p>
<p>Been through two proms with two Ds. Ds knew our position on overnights well before prom and Homecoming rolled around. They ran with great kids but the answer was still no!</p>
<p>Hanna, in our area the kids do the driving and there are no adults to supervise anything, other than those who recently turned 18 years old ;). They are and will continue to be sleep deprived through that weekend. Additionally, although I cannot prove it, I would suspect that someone will show up with alcohol. One needs to keep in mind that most of these gatherings are not school sponsered activities and that makes a huge difference.</p>
<p>Around here the standard is an overnight or two at the beach on prom weekend. Once the popular beach towns started cracking down a bit more on post-prom parties, a new alternative took hold, which is renting a cabin in the mountains. Both options would scare me, but the cabin one more so because of the remote location. If things really got out of control at the shore, you can bet the police would be along soon enough because they’re on high alert this time of year. In the mountains, that would be much less likely. That would make it more dangerous IMO. I’d fear rape, STD’s and pregnancy more than substances.</p>
<p>We have told our D she is not allowed to host or attend co-ed sleepovers ever, much less ones which are unsupervised by adults. And frankly, what I’ve seen around town lately has me pretty much convinced there are precious few adults whom I’d trust to supervise a group of teenagers either. D claims she is the ONLY ONE who isn’t allowed to go. I used to think that was the old ploy we always used (“But Mom, everyone else is going…” but after some investigation I have since concluded that she is actually telling the truth. They ARE all allowed to go. Too bad, she’s not. I told her she can sleep at home and then drive to the beach in the morning to spend the day with her friends.</p>
<p>I’m saying no for all the usual reasons a parent would. But since this is CC, you all will appreciate the additional reason I have. D is a recruited athlete who signed a National Letter of Intent. So, she only has one college acceptance. Should something happen, such as if some kid were to show up with alcohol or pot and trouble started, even if she was just a bystander, the laws here are such that she’d get the same rap for underage drinking or drug use as the perpetrator. I would really be afraid of her getting rescinded at her only college. She wouldn’t even be able to get into the community college if that happened, since they are overcrowded and their registration has closed.</p>
<p>At our kid’s school, they usually have pre-prom and post-prom parties hosted by different parents. pre-prom is usually at someone’s house with a nice property where pictures could be taken. The host will invite parents and food/drinks served. Post-prom is considered hardship duty. It’s usually a sleep over party, and alcohol too. I was fine with it as long as they weren’t driving and there were adults there. At some point, the parents would get the boys to sleep on one floor and girls on another. My friend told me that she and her husband stayed up all night to make sure no way went to a wrong floor. A year later, they found a beer bottle behind their china cabinet. D1 didn’t go down to the beach next day because she had ballet next day and she was also too tired.</p>
<p>Just another data point–our area does have some after parties, but always at individual’s homes with parents present. (There is one huge all-night publically-sponsored after party with games/prizes/. . ., but not many kids seem to take advantage of it.)</p>
<p>Will your son be going on a beach week after graduation? That’s very common where we are, although always with adults. If so, maybe have him focus on that time away from home, rather than prom (which for us got moved into mid-April several years ago, when school is still going strong).</p>
<p>After my prom, were all staying at someone house whose parents won’t be home they know about it and all 20 kids parents do too it’s 10 of each and they don’t mind they know all about it…
They’ll be alcohol they know that they said were going off to college we should be wise nough to not do anything sstupid and their only request is no one sleep in Theor bed… Maybe we just all have linent parents?</p>
<p>Here the school hosts an after prom party from 12-3am. Any juniors and seniors can go, even if they don’t go to the prom. Lots of prizes, games, food. It seems like most people go to it–there are some big prizes. They have strict check-in, check-out procedures.</p>
<p>I don’t hear about kids doing sleepovers here (but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any, but this is a conservative area–most parents would not allow it). I’d say no to any coed sleepovers–especially out of town.</p>
<p>D went with a group of girlfriends to prom and we rented a hotel room for them down at Disney. They had a huge slumber party together – had a blast – and spent the day at Disney the next day. They didn’t want drama … they just wanted their best friends. Worked for me. </p>
<p>One of my S’s friend told his date he wouldn’t remain at an all night party, so he came home early. It was no big deal … she understood from the beginning that his family wouldn’t allow it, and frankly, his mom said he seemed to appreciate a “way out.”</p>
Worked for me. </p>