<p>D and her friends participated in coed “overnights” after proms. They were held in friends houses and parents were there. Boys and girls had separate sleeping areas.</p>
<p>As far as going to a cabin, I would have said “no way”. I will admit that I was lucky because D’s friends’ parents would have had the same response.</p>
<p>Big after-prom party in a public venue here, from midnight til 5 p.m. with games, prizes and a hypnotist. One area church then hosts a breakfast. Last year D was invited to a coed slumber party after all the post-prom stuff at the home of a boy in her prom group. We said no, although I think most of the other parents of kids in the group were OK with it. The next afternoon (when D finally woke up) she told us she was glad she had just gone home to sleep in her own bed.</p>
<p>wow! Whatever4 does have a big party! Those kids must be dead tired going to prom in evening, then to a party starting at midnight, and partying all the wee hours of the morning yet continuing all of the day too, until near suppertime. 17 hours would just be way too long for me. Maybe I’m way too old.
Most supervised overnight parties in our area end early morning.</p>
<p>I don’t feel I need to say yes to my kid just because other parents say yes. I had no issue with D1 sleeping over because I knew the parents and the kids were 16 of her best friends from high school. There were only 2 couples and the rest went as friends. I don’t think I would have said yes if I didn’t know her date very well and it was going to be at her date’s friend’s house.</p>
<p>Here, the prom is held at a downtown location and there are busses from the high school to take the kids down to dinner and dancing. Then there is a lake cruise from (I think) midnight til 3 am. They can take the bus back after the dance, at midnight, or stay and take a bus back at 3 am. </p>
<p>I really like the system. I hate the wastefulness of hiring limos for prom and the competitiveness it engenders, esp when the class is a mix of haves and have-nots. And given that, look let’s face it, there’s going to be drinking somewhere, I’d rather they all be safe in a bus.</p>
<p>DD and her group spent the night at the home of a boy in the group. Parents were there and cooked breakfast for them about 1:00 in the morning. These parents are quite strict. No alcohol. </p>
<p>I am so grateful for parents like these and will remember what a great job they did when DS’s prom comes up next year. Frankly, our solution has always been to offer to host something in our home if the only alternatives are parties with alcohol in a cabin, beach house, hotel room or whatever.</p>
<p>Opps. I meant that the after-prom party goes from midnight to 5 a.m. – NOT p.m. Nonetheless, it’s a LONG time to be together. Last year a bunch of girls came to our house in the early afternoon to get ready together, so it ended up being 14 hours of festivities for them, anyway – not to mention the slumber party that some attended after the other stuff ended.</p>
<p>Well, here’s what happened for us. D & her buddies after JR prom went over to a GF’s house & had a slumber party. Parents were home. The next year, they had a slightly co-ed party at GF’s house. A few males were present but went home as the evening wore on. The girls all slept over & got picked up by parents the next day. When they had their winter formal, they also had sleepovers at a house where parents were home & it was only girls.</p>
<p>My niece & her buddies all chipped in for a hotel room. Shortly after she arrived, the management knocked on the door & kicked everyone out & KEPT the $$. Niece was made because she didn’t even have any time to enjoy the party before it was shut down (hotel said there was too much noise). Somehow that seems rather fishy to me, especially the hotel keeping all the $$ but kicking out the kids, but didn’t pursue it.</p>
<p>My nephew also attended & held sleepovers with the guys at houses where parents were home after the prom. Sometimes the girls would come over for a short while, but they lefet before folks went to sleep. </p>
<p>No alcohol was served at any of these homes in connection with the sleepovers.</p>
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<p>We said yes when D2 was invited to an after Prom sleepover by her date from another high school. His parents were very upfront about the people putting on the party, how they had personally knew the parents, checked out the supervision angle, etc. (they were initially dubious when their S asked and did a lot of due diligence). D said that it was a problem free night.</p>
<p>My biggest concern, like that of another poster’s, is the 3 hour drive to the sleepover venue. Long drives on prom night have lead to some tragic car wrecks here.</p>
<p>Sigh. I guess I just don’t see the need for coed sleepovers. Prom is a nice, fun dance where the girls get to wear wonderful dresses and the kids get to dance and eat dinner and congregate some place. And then by 1 am it really is time to say sayonara. What on Earth is gained by keeping these young men and women together all night long? Have they not bonded sufficiently through the evening? Is it really necessary that they be under the same roof all night, be together for breakfast, etc ???</p>
<p>For one thing, my daughter will have too much homework. She couldn’t put that much time and energy into the whole affair.</p>
<p>I agree with that sentiment wholeheartedly. I mean, seriously, it is overkill. There is no way that I would allow my child to stay unsupervised in a hotel or cabin overnight at all. There is no reason. We all read the paper and see the news, don’t we? Hindsight is always 20/20 when a student dies of alcohol poisoning or a girl is raped. I wish that more parents would rebel and put their food down on this trend. I know we all have “good” kids who are are really studious, etc, etc…trust me, they will drink and they will hook up if left alone. Even if there are parents on site, they will try to find a way. Allowing them to stay unsupervised in groups is naive and very dangerous.</p>
<p>I hosted a Prom overnight at my home but I stayed up the entire time serving food and drinks. Plus, I let my dogs run into the rec room all the time so I’d “have” to go and retrieve them. LOL</p>
<p>There’s no way I’d allow my kids to go to one without parents staying up, too.</p>
<p>Went to a prom overnight at the home of a friend when I was a senior. We all went; none of our parents even questioned it. I told my parents where we’d be spending the night and they said, “Oh, have a good time.”</p>
<p>The friend’s mom is a federal judge and her dad is a high-caliber criminal lawyer.</p>
<p>There was NO FOOLIN’ at that party…! United States Marshals agent parked at the edge of the drive, keeping an eye on the door, as was always the case at their house. All car keys confiscated and locked up by the good judge and lawyer upon entry. Once you were in, you were in for the night and the alarm was on. Plenty of munchies and soft drinks and music and movies, separate rooms for the girls and guys to change out of their formals and into t-shirts and flannels. Unobtrusive half-hourly patrol walk by one or the other of the parents, all night. Breakfast served up early, and a long conversation with the judge before any of us was personally handed our keys and allowed to leave the next morning.</p>
<p>Honestly, I was far too naive to figure out what on earth was going on at the time, but I know now: THAT is the way to run a prom overnight…!</p>
<p>I agree that 24 is too big of a number and 3 hours is MUCH too far away. That said, my parents both bought my sister and I coed hotel rooms the night of our proms. My sister had 6 people total, I had 3 (originally were supposed to have 4, but best friend’s boyfriend got shipped out a week before prom :(). </p>
<p>We were all 18 at the time. </p>
<p>My parents just said “Don’t do anything stupid” and “Call us if you’re in trouble”. None of us drank or did anything illegal. We did, however, have 10 people from our high school get arrested that night for drunk driving. Every single one told the cops that they were going home so that they didn’t miss curfew.</p>
<p>If it’s a small group, let your kid stay over. They’re not going to do anything there that they couldn’t do any other time- especially those 18+!</p>
<p>EDIT: Actually, come to think of it, I started having coed sleep-overs after my sophomore homecoming. Never once did we have parents. The only time we ever drank was after a military ball and a debutante ball- with our parents there with us. And yes, again, both were coed and we slept in coed rooms away from the parents. We only drank with our parents present. Go figure lol.</p>
<p>“They’re not going to do anything there that they couldn’t do any other time- especially those 18+!”</p>
<p>At my prom, lots of kids had rooms upstairs in the hotel that I assume parents paid for. There was plenty of drinking before and after, but also lots of pot smoking, which I think (hope?) the kids wouldn’t have done at home because the smell is so unmistakable. No one ever got busted or anything, but I’m sure that pot after prom is still the norm at this school.</p>
<p>This thread reminded me of something that happened nearby a few years ago.</p>
<p>A bunch of high school guys, too many, no life jackets, crowded onto a motor boat, drinking alcohol… hit someone’s wake on purpose at high speed and a bunch fell out.</p>
<p>They got everyone back into the boat and went back to the dock… realized when they started to unload that one of the guys was missing. His body was found later.</p>
<p>If an overnight prom party is going to happen…</p>
<p>It’s better at a home with (awake) parents there and all keys confiscated.</p>
<p>Junior year, Son’s group didn’t rent a limo (too last minute)…they went in multiple cars. The date of the girl at whose house we all met was older and in the military. We all envied her being driven by an “adult.” After prom, they all went back to her house. Son and his date only stayed a short while. The girl with the military date got pregnant, and by all accounts, it happened that night. Instead of going to college, she was working three part time jobs. The guy dated other people until right before the baby was born, then they got married (for the medical benefits?), then divorced shortly thereafter. Having no other viable means of support, she joined the military and Grandma and Grandpa have a baby most of the time.</p>
<p>I’m a very relaxed, laid back parent, but this is what happened one prom night.</p>
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<p>LOL. Ditto on your thoughts and ditto on the daughter.</p>
<p>I’m glad I’m not the only one going through this. “Prom Drama” is about to kill me!</p>
<p>The plan as of this morning - subject to change after every lunch period - is for DS and his group (8 couples) to leave the prom and go to the ranch house of one of the girls, about 1 hour away. The girl’s parents (and at least 2 other parents) will be there. I know the girl’s parents and know them to be very strict.</p>
<p>I am arranging for a party bus to pick up the kids and take them to dinner, the prom, and the ranch. We just don’t want them driving around the city and then out to a strange place late at night. The “plan” is to take several cars to the ranch the morning of the prom so that they are available to drive back the next day.</p>
<p>I also know my son and his friends. While they may not be perfect, they are basically good kids. They “tactfully” separated themselves from the larger group (originally 20 couples) because they don’t trust a couple of the kids in the other group.</p>
<p>Am I happy about all this? Not really, but I’m dealing with it! :)</p>