Most creative this year! Friends son had a police officer stop his girlfriends car to give her a “ticket”!
Let me just say I hate these. And any officer who participates in this ought to be reprimanded by his/her commanding officer.
Invitations to prom, homecoming and other significant dances should be in-person and private. There is an unreasonable amount of pressure on girls to say “yes” when this is done in a public setting, and it is crushing for the boy to be told “no” in public if the girl declines.
These aren’t cute; they’re rude.
If they’re already dating, I see no possible harm.
I hate these too. It makes proms, homecoming, etc. seem like the Hugest Deal in the World.
It wouldn’t be so bad if they were limited to that situation. But they aren’t.
I dont know anyone who was asked without the green light. Everyone asks a friend to reach out first before making the overture. This generation is not private…those days are long gone.
Sure, but even the example in the OP said “girlfriend.” At least some (half? Most?) of such elaborate occurrences happen within relationships. And yet the responses are blanket statements like “they’re not cute; they’re rude.”
I understand how people can have strong reactions to my post but I cant understand how promposals are rude? If a boy or girl wants to take his/her chances and ask someone that is not likely to say yes, then how is it rude to the person they asked? Isnt it flattering that you were thought of in this way, no matter who asked you?
I don’t have strong feelings either way but I’d be furious if someone had me pulled over like that.
I don’t really care what others do with promposals, more power to them if they like them, but I, too, would be furious if someone tried such a stunt on me. The one detailed in the OP sounds completely negligent and disrespectful imo and I certainly wouldn’t agree to such a date. Similarly, the commonly public and over-the-top promposals can definitely be humiliating or embarrassing, and if I didn’t want one, I would indeed think it rude and arrogant to be ‘promposed’ in such a way, not flattering.
I think they work better when between people dating, with the recipient knowing it’s likely going to happen, and the asker knowing she’d want to be asked that way.
It puts a lot of pressure on boys to be creative and spend money on the perfect Promposal. And even on girls who are the ones doing the asking (some girls ask guy friends). It is even making its way to middle school. Heard of “cute asks” for the 8th grade dance. Not sure why a simple ask is not enough for Prom.
And arabrab is right in that it could be really humiliating to be turned down in public or pressure on the girl to say yes to an elaborate ask, even if she had someone else she wanted to go with.
In the grand scheme of life, not a huge deal but would prefer this was not expected these days.
Both of my girls were asked first, said yes, then had a bigger ‘asking.’ One got a bouquet of daisies and a sign in Latin asking (yes, nerds) and the other was asked and then had a painted sheet hung above her table at her NLI signing table (there were signs and banners everywhere, so it was hardly noticeable). These were just dates, not boyfriends and anything more would have been out of line.
But I think promposals are rather stupid and much too much of a deal is made of them. Getting the baseball team to paint their stomachs with ‘Prom Ali?’ and then remove their shirts or getting the entire class to sing a song or something? Too much.
Well, that’s a great use of taxpayer dollars.
If my daughter’s boyfriend had her pulled over so a police officer could deliver a summons, I tend to think she’d be pretty furious and I wouldn’t blame her.
I can’t stand these things. And I’d be furious too if a police officer pulled my kid over, or if my kid had the stop arranged for a PROM. D goes to a school that so far is very low-key about dances and proms, so the “asks” are food-related like cookies that spell out “prom” or a McDonald’s wrapper with a message inside. There really is SO much pressure to spend, spend, spend on these events and I know for a fact there are kids at her school who aren’t going, even though the tickets are only $25. It’s all the other stuff-hair, make up, jewelry, dress, shoes, purse, etc., or for the boys, suit, tie, shoes, flowers, and so on.
I thought that previous years’ proms in the school gym in regular dress clothes were a little boring, but I think I’ve changed my mind. The kids are falling to the same prom spending pressure as everywhere else this year now that it’s a “real” prom.
I know there is a lot of anti-greek sentiment on CC, but there are good things they do too. Mine (alums and the houses in the area) collects not only prom dresses but the shoes, bags and jewelry and had a day when those who need clothing for prom can ‘shop’ for free. It can be a crazy expensive night, but it doesn’t have to be.
What happened to, “Mary, if you don’t have a date for the prom, I’d be honored if you’d go with me” said with heart in throat? Any girl (or guy) who wants more than that is indicating that they value theatrics more than the date and is probably not someone you want to invest time in. Promposals are nothing but “look at me” stunts. Pathetic IMHO.
I think the thing with the police officer is a bit over the top. But the girls love the promposals and look forward to them every year. And thats what counts right? My D has a video of each promposal for her 4 years of high school. She was away at school and I have to admit I really looked forward to seeing them myself. Some of them are quite original and all of them are cute in their own way.
And yes, the guys get a green light through the girls’ friends so no one is put on the spot or rejected.
It’s the Spectacle Culture. I know it’s the accepted way it is now, and I know I’m inviting get off my lawn jibes, but nothing exists now unless it’s Youtube-ready. I’m glad my kids were too old for this.
My D woulnd’t even let anyone video her wedding–she said, “how I remember it is what’s important.” How quaint, right?
Wow, I really was expecting more of an even distribution of positive and negative comments. Case closed. CC is clearly not a fan of the practice!
Lot of “debbie downers” on this thread. If it didn’t make the girls happy it wouldn’t be happening. Can’t see what the harm is. And yes, teenagers are doing things differently today than we did - that’s fine too.