My D had one and she loved it. She is more of an extrovert and likes the attention. It was from her steady boyfriend and she was expecting it - she didn’t know exactly how or when it would come but she knew it was coming.
Not a fan of promposals. Can’t see the need, especially if the recipient is already aware of the ask or has indicated through friends that the answer to the ask is yes. Seems like an attention grab.
This, however, like many things of this sort, is the difference between more introverted and extroverted personalities. I guess I am more of an introvert, though not shy, and have never wanted or seen the need to have attention drawn to myself. To me, it’s all too “show offy”. To others, its all good fun.
The takeaway, I think: NEVER NEVER do this unless you know, for sure, in advance, that the person you are asking will say yes. If they don’t want to go with you, and say no, you will be humiliated. If they don’t want to go with you, and say yes because of the pressure, I guarantee that you will both have a lousy time at the prom.
It’s true that adding drama can turn what might be simply be “disappointment” into full-blown “humiliation”. It’s too bad, but that’s the part onlookers play.
Some students can’t even figure out how to visit a college website to get the basic information they need. What chance is there that they can evaluate their chances for a Prom date? Luckily, that sort of social and emotional incompetence is not too widespread even though it comes to mind fairly quickly.
And then there are those that say yes, but say no privately later. (Yes, real example.)
My favorite is the simple and private (“Prom?” written on a cupcake or other small simple gift — very cute), and I don’t mind a little showy (flowers and a poster or locker decorated) for the definite yes (boyfriend/girlfriend) for a recipient who will like that kind of thing. (Not everyone likes that attention). But I do agree, that some are just way overdone and too much money/attention/time is spent on them. What are these kids going to do for their wedding proposal!?! And if the recipient doesn’t like the attention or doesn’t want to say yes, it’s just too much pressure.
Also, I would be somewhat concerned about “expectations” after an over-the-top ask. Such as, well I did all that for you, what am I getting out of the deal? Back in my day, including a limo pretty much meant the girls were expected to pay the boy back for the date. If you know what I mean.
My kids’ HS has limited dances (Homecoming dance has actually been cancelled a few times due to lack of interest) so the Junior Prom is the first major social event for most of the students. I didn’t like the promposal idea as I thought it put too much pressure on both the asker and the askee – but apparently most of the girls agree in advance (through friends) to go, so nasty surprises are averted.
This year, the asks seemed to happen outside of school fairly often. For example, my D was at a local pizza place with friends when her date showed up with a cake that was iced with, “Can I cake you to prom?” One boy stood outside his prospective date’s house with a goat and a sign asking, “Will you goat with me to prom?” I have no idea where he got the goat or how he transported it to her suburban home, but I thought it was cute.
Didn’t think of it until reading this thread, but asking outside of school also makes the whole process less “in your face” for those who aren’t asked (elaborately or at all) or who aren’t attending prom (for whatever reason).
D says there is zero risk of the guy being rejected if he understands how things work. If he does not undertake the first step of asking the girls’ friends to run it by her, then he is either an “egomaniac” who cannot imagine anyone saying “no” or someone who is “operating in a vacuum.” She said in her 4 years of high school she has never heard of one rejection of a promposal.
That one video linked earlier of the guy being rejected is very unfortunate. My instincts tell me it might have been the result of a prank, perhaps by the boy (or his friends) that had already asked the girl. That was mean.
For both my sons, their friend-girls (friends that are girls usually friends with the girl being asked) would plan the promposal and do all the work (bake the cake, make the sign or whatever) and then my son would get the credit.
Winter Formal was girl ask guy and they got asked in creative ways (one the teacher handed out a pop-quiz and the last question was "Joe will you go to Formal with Sue?)