A lot of debate happens here on CC, about whether it’s okay for parents to veto more expensive options, later in the decision process. There are strong voices that favor the position of, “If you told your kid that you’d pay up to $XX, let them decide - it isn’t okay to force their hand toward the cheaper option if a more expensive option is within the range that you promised going in.” And I get that (although I’m not entirely clear, in this case, whether the price tag of PSU is within a range that was, indeed, promised as possible).
The thing in this case, though, is that you (the OP) cannot bear sole responsibility for this keeping-of-promises. Your son has another parent who seems to be, well, back-pedaling is an overly-kind way of putting it. So you’re left not only trying to protect your son from the fallout of his brother’s illness, but also trying to protect him from the failings of his other parent.
But really, you can’t. You want to, and he needs to see that you want to, but you’re only one person. If anyone is going to sign for PLUS loans, it should be the parent with resources. And he won’t. This doesn’t mean you should. It means (IMHO) that it’s time to tell your son that PLUS loans have become impossible.
There’s a subtle difference between vetoing a choice, and declining to sign for debt. The result is the same, but the intent is different. The former is vying for control; the latter is merely setting a boundary. Son is free to explore other options for the funding gap (although he will quickly discover that there aren’t any). But for you to communicate, with firm compassion, that you cannot be the one to bridge this gap for him, is the wise choice at this point. You have enough to deal with, to even make PC happen for him, and he needs to understand that.
Per my suggestion, if the son works through the repayment calculators and does the math on his own, he will quickly see that the PSU loan amount is beyond what is reasonable both for him and for his mom.
Nothing better for a future business major to get to step up and make a business decision. Do the modeling. See the result. See the impact on a 50K, 60K, even 90K income of those loan payments. EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
i know kids who think 'I can pay those off with a good job no problem". Sometimes I have to help them with the calculations-- "you’ll be earning BEFORE tax dollars, but need to pay down your loan with actual dollars- i.e. AFTER TAX. Your company will deduct for health insurance- go find an estimate online for what that will cost. Some states and cities have their own taxes- which will come straight off the top-- go look that up.
Even kids who don’t know much about budgeting end up staring the eventual number in disbelief-
“this is what I’ll be living on?”
I know that some people feel that they somehow had a fast one pulled on them when it comes to financial aid after the initial year. But the truth is that it really shouldn’t be a surprise in many cases. If there were two students in school & now there’s only one, aid can be drastically reduced (maybe the recent FAFSA change that removes additional students from the need formula might keep that surprise to a minimum in the future). If the parents earn more in subsequent years, aid can be reduced. If a student received a first year scholarship that wasn’t renewable … or was renewable based on a gpa that the student didn’t meet … aid can be reduced. If a family received an inheritance in year two, aid for future years may be reduced. There are lots of reasons aid might be reduced. If the family financial situation remains steady, though, chances are good that aid won’t suddenly be reduced.
Probably many young adults are horrified that their $90k-salary job only nets them about $4500-$5000 per month once taxes and benefits are taken out. Suddenly that $1500 loan payment is a big deal.
Penn State has one of the largest if not the largest alumni association and they’ve organized a bus that travels to Needham, Ma on the holidays. That being said, it is far from Mass. My husband went there and I spent a lot of time there and we still go back for a game or two. It is a great school. In the middle of no where but there is a lot to do. You can’t compare any of the other schools to the football so if that’s a big consideration, then maybe take that into account. Going for summer is also a plus because it gives them a head start and you meet a lot of friends. PC is a great school as well. We know a lot of kids there that really like it. Two really good choices.
Right – imagine making $3500/month after taxes/bens, and having a $1000-$1500 loan payment. It would be untenable unless the kid could rent a place for under about $1000 per month (assuming they also have a car payment, internet/cable, phone, electricity, water/sewer, car insurance, food expenses, etc. There’d be virtually nothing left.).
I have two kids at Providence and we are from central Mass - one is a finance major. I can’t comment on PC vs. Smeal but can comment on how much I love the fact that my kids are an hour away and they do too. It’s far enough that I’m not down there often but close enough that if I need to jet down there I can. My son also got into Bentley and IMHO it’s not worth the extra cost.
I will say that the PC kids have a BLAST. My oldest is not the world’s biggest partier but has managed to truly enjoy her time there (she’s a senior). PC itself feels like a bigger school in terms of both reputation and school spirit - they have a great time at sporting events (basketball especially). One thing to think about is whether he thinks he may want to stay around the Boston area when he graduates. PC has a great network.
I will also say that my kids haven’t seen enormous price increases - they have both financial aid and merit.
I was concerned about my oldest losing aid at Providence as well. We called the financial aid counselor and she was very helpful - I provided ballpark income changes and the changes to the number of students our family would have in college and she provided estimates on how aid would be affected. No guarantees obviously but my oldest is now a senior and her estimates were correct.
@MMRose Thanks for checking in. We are still debating. Have written off Penn State due to distance/non direct admit to finance major and it’s a very expensive state school so we didn’t go in person as of now. Distance seemed daunting to me.
Narrowing in on Providence and Babson. Babson is closer to home. Still awaiting final #'s. Both are such great schools, I’m familiar with Babson, less so with Providence and trying to determine the pros/cons reputation of PC vs. Babson. I’m having a hard time getting a handle on the PC Business School outcomes vs. Babson. Welcome thoughts on the two schools. Babson proximity is a good thing under the circumstances. But would require significant student loans which he is willing to consider taking on.
Also trying to weigh whether he will want/need an MBA on top of undergrad at each of these schools. And if one is more “finance” oriented than the other in terms of being a finance “major” with significant depth vs. finance electives only and getting a BS in Business only.
what does “significant” student loans mean? if it’s a dollar over the federal limit- he can’t afford Babson. period full stop. Why? Because he can’t borrow more than that. Any loan above the federal limit is YOUR loan. And YOU can’t afford to have more on your plate. He can intend to pay back your loan for you. He can want to pay back your loan for you. But legally it is YOUR loan.
@Blossom thank you for your guidance. My understanding is he would be on a PLUS loan as well as me. It’s so challenging when your child has been admitted to a more selective school and has worked so hard for it. But I hear where you are coming from…stressful for sure.
Babson is a great school. And I’d love to see your son have that option if he wants it.
But whether he is willing to consider significant loans becomes a question only if there’s a willing cosigner. If his dad isn’t stepping up to be that cosigner, I still don’t think you should get backed into doing it. There’s no way out from under that obligation once you sign on that dotted line, and you have enough… here comes the dreaded “on your plate” idiom again… but yes, that.
Rooting for the best possible outcome for your whole family!
You nailed it. I’m the one getting backed into taking the loans. His father refuses. I see it as my son being such a hard worker, smart, dependable person. But once again, good points. If he can’t come through on repayment, I have to step up to take it over. The father has orchestrated it so well for himself. Mom does all the work, refuses to support top choice school. Mom is fully invested in the outcome and left holding the bag potentially.
Curious how you would compare/stack the two schools against each other? Are they close, far apart? Seems some see a big gap and others don’t. It’s tough for me to figure it out. Here in Boston everyone knows Babson, but not PC for business (yet) I think it’s a farily recently build business school building 7+ years ago (don’t quote me on that). Is one more “hard core” finance than the other?
I’m so sorry you’re in this bind. And I definitely understand how self-protection becomes a very, very low priority in a situation like yours. Maybe it would help to think of it in terms of protecting your other child, as well. You don’t know what his needs may be in the future, and whether being saddled with educational debt might prevent you from meeting those needs.
