<p>Our son was well qualified for an ivy. National Merit Scholar finalist and scholarship winner (one of only 52 in our state - Minnesota). His scores were high enough that he would have been a finalist in any state. Also top 10 of class of 400+ in top-rated public suburban school (the school does not do a 1,2,3 rank, only top ten). Took 8 AP classes with 4 or higher scores on all 8 which puts him in the National AP Scholar ranking. There was only one other AP class at his school which he did not take. Took all the hardest classes offered at his H.S. including 4 years of Spanish and 3 1/2 years of German along with all the college prep stuff. His main extra curricular was Science Olympiad and his school was 1st in our state in that and he had the top scores on the team: 1st in one competition and second in the other. At nationals he was 3rd in one event. He had great letters from his teachers. Now he’s having to start at his backup school- The University of Minnesota and they have gone down in ranks. He’s quite disappointed and not enthused about school at all. Any advice?</p>
<p>Does Univ of Minnesota have an honors college? If yes, will he be a part of it? Will he be living on campus? All of these things should be a plus for the experience he will have there.</p>
<p>You may find some advice on the current thread in the Parents Forum: “kid is off… my thoughts about the last 2 yrs” Seems like a similar experience, and similar thoughts, initially, by the parent and child.</p>
<p>Seems like there is a big gap between getting in an ivy and UMinn. Places like Northwestern, Notre Dame, Vanderbilt, etc. Did he only apply to a few top schools and one safety (Uminn.)?</p>
<p>Yes, he’s in the Honors College and has almost all of his college (tuition and room and board) paid for too. From a parent’s perspective, there’s a lot to like about the situation, but for our son the disillusionment seems overwhelming. Knowing how tough the top schools are, we tried to prepare him ahead of time for a disappointment. Still he worked so hard for 4 years and now he’s thinking why bother?</p>
<p>I’m not sure I understand your son’s situation. You’re saying that the only school he got into is the University of Minnesota? And he had no other options?</p>
<p>Wait listed at Northwestern, but didn’t accept the waitlist because he didn’t like the rich privileged atmosphere there. Waitlisted at U of Chicago, his 1st choice, but didn’t get called from the wait list.</p>
<p>Yes to living on campus. Does this seem strange to you or do students of this quality get rejected all the time anyway?</p>
<p>My advice is to let him vent, and to also keep in mind that he may be venting for fear that by going to U Minn., he’s disappointing you. Consequently, don’t act like what he’s saying is true – that because U Minn. has gone down in the capriciously-done rankings that he has no chance of a decent education there.</p>
<p>After listening to him, you may wish to quietly remind him that it would be good if he had at least one semester there before making up his mind that it’s a horrible place for him. Remind him, too, of the benefits of having such wonderful merit scholarships there, and of being one of the top students in such a large school that’s also the state’s flagship university.</p>
<p>You also can remind him that if he really dislikes it, he can transfer, and the higher his grades are there, and the stronger his ECs are, the better his chances of transferring – if indeed after going there, he decides he wants to leave.</p>
<p>Incidentally, I’m an Ivy grad, whose older S turned down 2 top 25 colleges to go there. I was very pleased with what the U offered, though my S flunked out (not the U’s fault – he was immature and partied too much).</p>
<p>You just now, are finding this out???</p>
<p>With all the credentials your son amassed, did you only look at two schools? </p>
<p>Who gives a rat’s behind about an ivy? He isn’t good enough for an ivy? Their loss.</p>
<p>It’s about mindset, what has he failed? absolutely nothing. God help us the day that all the smart people are confined to ivy league schools… Did you ever look west? south? There are many schools that would have rolled out the red carpet for your son, where he would receive a top notch education and have a great time. </p>
<p>I am truly sorry for my tone here, but I just can’t help it. Americans are the most sold society on earth. We buy into total nonsense like having to attend an ivy school or the rest is just *****. </p>
<p>C’mon, turn the tables learn how to market yourself and have colleges want you. While it may be too late in your case, maybe someone else can take note. </p>
<p>NEVER make it an all or nothing when you have the credentials to go to school for free in about 50% of all the colleges and universities out there. You’re a free agent all-star, don’t settle for less than what the market will provide.</p>
<p>Hmm…kid is not enthused about University of Minnesota? Not sure I understand why not. With his brains and with a work ethic consistent with his past he will be one of the best students in his class - with plenty of opportunities. Plus, he will not be up to his ears in debt - and plus - if you cannot have fun at the U - something is wrong. I would suggest a nice way of saying quit feeling sorry for yourself is in order.</p>
<p>Okay let’s put a little perspective on this. The ivy idea was strictly our son’s idea. I went to Purdue and had a great time and education, so we are not “snob” parents. This was strictly his goal and he worked hard for it.</p>
<p>Let’s look at this a little differently. </p>
<p>He’s going to a Big 10 school, with a big-time sports program, that has been a member of the Association of American Universities since 1908 (which means it’s one of the top research schools in the country), and it’s located in a great city. He’s in the honors program and receiving a very nice grant. </p>
<p>And the problem is?</p>
<p>Also, I think his work ethic is totally gone, since he didn’t see a payoff. I have concerns that he will not work at U of M.</p>
<p>He doesn’t like the emphasis on sports etc. Wanted a more focused on academics environment. Want to major in Physics and the U is a little weak in that area.</p>
<p>the “and” is the key word in the subject - nearly every applicant to every Ivy League school is qualified for admission and is not admitted.</p>
<p>You asked for advice. I 'd recommend encouraging your son to make the best of the situation by doing excellent work in his Freshman year, with an eye towards transferring to another college. With his excellent high school record and a strong first-year record, he would be an excellent transfer candidate.</p>
<p>Good luck to him and to you!</p>
<p>I don’t see much that you can do. How he chooses to react to his choice, really is up to him. However, everyone will face disappointments in life. How a person deals with disappointments and challenges is far more important than what college one gets accepted to. </p>
<p>BTW, last year or this year, I had some exchanges with a rural Minn. resident who was applying to Harvard and the U of Minn. He ended up being rejected by H, and having to go to the U. He handled his disappointment with aplomb, and also was aware of the nice opportunities that the U offers. You might be able to find him by searching CC’s archives.</p>
<p>And, by the way, at least 85% of the people who apply to H are “qualified,” according to the dean of admissions. There’s just not space for all of all of them at H or at any of the other most competitive colleges.</p>
<p>Reassurance from a former Minnesotan:
I’m not sure what you mean when you say your son was “cut”. Did he receive rejections from other schools he preferred? In any case, if his situation is such that for whatever reason UM will be his school, I hope he and you don’t sell it short. First of all, its overall “rank” should not be taken as an indicator that the quality of professors or courses is sub-par. If you look at individual departments, it is very highly regarded in many areas. For example, US News (are these the rankings to which you refer?) ranks its undergraduate business program 13th (tied with Emory, WUSTL and others) and its chemical engineering program 3rd. Your son seems inclined to the sciences, and big state universities often have research opportunities that other schools can’t match. The challenge of large state universities for some students is size and bureaucracy. Your son rose to the top in a large public high school and obviously has some skill in finding and maximizing the most challenging opportunities. He can do the same at UM with the right attitude. Even if he finds he indeed doesn’t love it, he can probably transfer if his GPA is decent. The other advantage if he stays and does very well, is that graduate school admissions are a new ball game and he will have most likely have little debt to worry about. Disappointment may be understandable but help him move on. When my son with some similar credentials (also a National Merit scholarship winner from a large public in Minnesota) graduated HS he had some tough choices to make with MIT and an Ivy, among others, on his list. The financial realities were that it was really not feasible to turn down a full ride at an OOS public university. I told him to think about whether he believed in himself more, or in the prestige factor of a particular school. He decided that he had enough confidence to seek success at the public university. He ended up doing extremely well and went on to graduate school at the University of Cambridge and law school at an Ivy (with a large merit scholarship). It can work out.</p>
<p>Why do people apply to schools they don’t want to attend?</p>
<p>Also, I think his work ethic is totally gone, since he didn’t see a payoff. I have concerns that he will not work at U of M.</p>
<p>The * payoff* isn’t in a golden ticket
The PAYOFF, imo- is in knowing you worked hard- knowing that you enjoy working hard- and finding your opportunities and making the most of them that can take you to the next level.</p>
<p>Making the most of your opportunities can be done at any school- and really shows what sort of strenghts you have.</p>
<p>U MInn is hardly a podunk school
I expect he will get over it</p>
<p>Obviously, we’ve known about the situation for a while. I just didn’t know about this website before. We’ve been hoping that his attitude would improve some this summer, but it hasn’t. Of the 8 NMFs from his high school, 3 are going to the U of M. Only 2 got into big name schools, one at Stanford and one at MIT. He had better qualifications than the Stanford kid in many areas (that kid was not top ten and not one of the 52 state NM scholarship winners) so that stings too. We were not at all manipulative about the process.</p>