Sorry to disappoint, heartburner, but ours is an example of a kid who left for BS and never really came home again. He found the independence exhilarating and was never quite “ours” again even under our roof. Sure, we connected off and on over his BS years for some great conversations and we did attend three out of four Parents Weekends and two College Info Weekends, but FormerChoatieKid really didn’t see the need for us to come to campus after the first year. His first summer home, he found an internship that kept him so busy, we hardly saw him before it was time to drop him off again. And he picked a college and career that pretty much ensure we are just guests in his life now.
So it all depends on the kid. I say don’t overthink this. Enjoy whatever time you spend with your son and don’t give a thought to the rest. The few times, early on, that we tried to structure time together, it ended up with kiddo being nice but really wanting to be elsewhere or working on something. You know your son and how your family connects. Just do what you’ve always done that you enjoy together, but go with the flow. Too much planning ruins spontaneity and it’s the spontaneous that results in quality.