<p>She definitely should get a referrral for counseling from a rape crisis center; this is what they specialize in, and are very familiar with acquaintence rape. That being said, you yourself expressed a feeling of helplessness. I would suggest that you call the rape crisis center yourself and speak with a counselor. Having a close friend go through trauma like that can impact you, too, and they will also have some concrete advice for how you can best support your friend.</p>
<p>Note added: even if he doesn’t dispute having been in the building that night, it doesn’t prove anything, other than they were in the building together. Even if they found ‘evidence’ (semen) in the classroom, it will be her word against his.</p>
<p>I meant that. I don’t’ know your university Advice Needed. But, find out the locations of the cameras in that building. Just get the footage. And go through it. Maybe, you’ll find something that might prove her case. =]</p>
<p>It is a serious violation of university policy to engage in sexual conduct or activity without the consent of the other person. Consent may be withdrawn at any time, without regard to the activity that preceded the withdrawal of consent. Sexual misconduct includes, but is not limited to, actual or attempted rape and sexual battery. A student who violates this policy can be prosecuted in the courts of [edited], and, in addition, may be suspended or expelled from the university for a first offense.</p>
<p>Rape is defined as sexual penetration, no matter how slight, of the genital, anal, and/or oral openings of the person by any part of the student’s body or by the use of an object, without the person’s consent or against the person’s will where the person</p>
<p>a. is forced or has reasonable fear that the accuser or another will be injured if the accuser does not submit to the act;</p>
<p>b. is incapable of giving consent or is prevented from resisting due to physical or mental incapacity, which includes, but is not limited to, the influence of drugs including alcohol; or</p>
<p>c. suffers from a mental or physical disability.</p>
<p>Sexual battery is defined as intentionally touching the person’s intimate parts (primary genital area, groin, inner thigh, buttock, or breast) without or against the person’s consent. This touching is either directly on the body part or on the clothing covering that body part. It is also sexual battery if the person is forced to touch the intimate areas of another individual.</p>
<p>If there is a campus disciplinary committee that conducts an investigation, including interviews of both the victim and the accused, it is possible that the accused could be punished even without physical evidence. If investigated, he might break down and admit. He might be so obviously lying (inconsistent in his story, etc.) that he gets punished. There is circumstantial evidence that something happened–deletion of Facebook account, not going to class (if people other than the victim can back this up), and perhaps more. These things don’t prove a rape by any stretch, but they help show something is up.</p>
<p>The end of the school year is fast approaching. This needs to be dealt with ASAP if anything is to happen as memories fade and people who can testify as to the circumstantial elements will be leaving campus. </p>
<p>The girl’s mother could also make the inquiries about a disciplinary committee if you’re not up to it. If having the campus police say they will be “on alert” is as serious as the school is going to be about a rape, then the parents are in a good place to raise a ruckus (not that this will do any good except for future school policy change). Again, the school year is ending. Start making inquiries about a disciplinary committee tomorrow.</p>
<p>The school year recently ended. I wish the campus police would just ask questions to him (even if nothing happens, atleast it might scare him from hurting someone else). Also, after the rape occurred the guy started getting emotional and apologizing profusely so he seems like the type who may even admit it.</p>
<p>I’ll contact the disciplinary board tomorrow, anyways.</p>
<p>I am so sorry that your friend was raped. After reading this thread, I am confused as to whether or not your friend reported this to the city police. If she was willing to report it to campus police, hopefully she would be willing to report it to the regular police. Even if there were no physical evidence, a report of this crime should be made. The police will take it from there. This guy may have attacked others in the past or will do so again in the future, and any accusations on record may help another case.</p>
<p>This may sound unpleasant, but does she still have any of her clothing from that night that might not have been washed? DNA can be on anything, and all she needs is one small sample on her clothes and it is no longer circumstantial. He could try to claim that he merely touched her during their studying together, but there would still be explaining to do. Good luck to her. nd yes, be sure she gets to a good, qualified rape counselor.</p>
<p>The incident happened close to a month ago. She filed the police report a few days later. I never asked her about her old clothes, so I’m not sure.</p>
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<p>She reported the incident to the woman’s center (and later to the campus police), not the city police. It was very difficult for her to bring herself to reporting it. I generally try not to bring up the topic (unless she starts talking about it first) because it makes her extremely depressed/uncomfortable.</p>
<p>The school year is over and she lives around 3 hrs from the campus. But she has to go back next week (something to do with med schools; talk to her advisor/something like that).</p>
<p>I think for her to feel like she can be proactive about this while may be uncomfortable- will be more empowering than trying to avoid the issue.</p>
<p>I think she should be more proactive too, but she doesn’t like to think about it and it brings back painful memories. Maybe the best thing is to just forget about it and be there for her.</p>
<p>The good news (if any) is that she got her period today, so she is not pregnant. She was late and was extremely worried about that.</p>
<p>Do campus police share their crime reports with city police? Or do they handle things internally?</p>
<p>“Maybe the best thing is to just forget about it and be there for her.”</p>
<p>The best for her, maybe. But consider this: Rapists rarely stop after one person. If she is not proactive, chances are high that this will happen again. If she finds out that another girl was raped by the same man…well. Does she want that on her conscience?</p>
<p>At least if she does something or even TRIES to do something, she’ll have the peace of mind in knowing that she did everything she could.</p>
<p>I agree with this completely and is pretty much 100% what I told her. The only reason why she agreed to reporting it the campus cop was because she thought it might help “save another girl”. Unfortunately, the campus police pretty much did nothing but listen to the events of what happened that night and create a “file” of the guy (if he hurts another girl, they will try to establish a case).</p>
<p>I don’t agree that the best thing is or could be to forget about it. </p>
<p>In fact, I don’t believe that it’s likely to be possible to simply forget about it, over any period of time. I think that this event, without professional intervention, could haunt her, could be a painful and destructive influence on her, for years.</p>
<p>Better, I think, that the feelings be faced and brought into the open, with the help of a professional who is experienced in the areas of rape and post-traumatic stress syndrome and with whom your friend can be comfortable and have confidence in. This will be difficult, but much better imho for your friend.</p>
<p>With regard to the police: campus police cannot always be relied upon. I think that reporting to the city police would be well worth considering. However, in order to have an understanding of what to expect from the city police, I would consider asking a campus women’s group or a campus rape hotline whether the experience of reporting to the city police has proven to be a helpful step (or not) in the past. This information will help your friend make an informed decision on whether or not to report the rape to the city police.</p>
<p>is it just me or is anyone else concerned about the lack of evidence and the willingness to have this young man expelled?</p>
<p>So far everything is hearsay.
The campus police got a report well after the fact.
City police never recieved a report
She didn’t go to hospital although she did go to the womens center.
She wants to now forget the incident.
There isn’t any physical evidence that anyone knows of.</p>
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<p>So why didn’t she call the staff escort service? If they were having problems with assaults on campus, it seems that they would have support in place.</p>
<p>I certainly am empathic with rape victims- but I also know that things happen and the emphasis on " saving herself for marriage etc" brings up the question that since she was the one who actually contacted this man in the middle of the night, is it possible that she went farther with him than she intended and she is now experiencing remorse?</p>
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<p>Including this section of the school manual makes it sound like it is quite a conservative school, at least I have never heard of someones inner thigh being touched through clothing without their consent described as sexual battery.</p>
<p>If what actually happened is that she went farther than she wanted to- but willingly- it will not help her to be pushed to charge him with rape. But counseling is certainly in order. What does her mother think?</p>
<p>emeraldkitty, you’ve clearly never been raped. im 100% positive she is telling the truth, it is just a very difficult thing for her to talk about. Sometimes when the subject is brought up, she bursts out crying because she can remember his breathing, etc.</p>
<p>she doesn’t want to “forget” the incident. but what else can she do at this point? she went to the woman’s center as soon as she was able to (two days), and they gave her the option to talk to campus police (which she followed up on and did). im going to help her get more counseling.</p>
<p>Also, she wasn’t “hooking up” with a guy and then things progressed. He grabbed her, overpowered her, and pulled off her pants. I can’t believe you are defending the guy. Her mom (and dad) are extremely depressed.</p>
<p>I think that she could file a real police report with the city police. They might be able to check this guy’s criminal record in a way the campus police could not, and they might be able to “keep an eye on him” in a way the campus police can’t. If he later rapes someone else, she will be on the record as having accused him in a case with not enough evidence to prosecute him - but perhaps she will be able to help get him convicted of the next rape he commits.</p>
<p>But perhaps I watch too much Law and Order Special Victims Unit. I am not a lawyer.</p>
<p>I’ll encourage her to go to the city police. Maybe the police won’t mind if she goes with her mom. She is a very private person and it is very difficult for her to talk about and it would be the third time she would need to give all the details of the incident (women’s center and campus police).</p>
<p>What would be the best way to bring up, reporting to the city police? Should I say that going to the campus police, simply isn’t enough? I know it was a traumatizing experience for her so I hate even bringing it up.</p>
<p>I will also try to find her a good counselor to help her talk about the incident in the meantime.</p>
<p>Yes- get her to file a real police report. The longer she waits, the harder it gett to prosecute. She needs it on the record; she needs to feel empowered. She probably feels as helpless as you. Don’t let that happen.</p>