Daughter just texted me about a friend said something really mean to her and she is extremely upset. The guy is known for racist for a while.
“XX just told me that he hopes that Trump will deport me and I should go back to my country”
Should we report it and take actions or just drop it? Both students are top students and both are going to different top LAC. They are both very intelligent and obviously it is not just a casual joke if my daughter has such reaction. My husband is furious about this for some reason and I am not mad.
What is your opinion on this?
If he has been known to be racist for a while, is his statement of any surprise to anyone?
@ucbalumnus He has said things in class but he never personally attacked someone like this as far as we know.
You said he was a “friend.” Is that true? If so, she needs to talk to him very directly and say that what he said was hurtful and inappropriate. He needs to know that he is being an idiot.
Would it be correct to assume that overt racism is socially acceptable in this high school and community?
@PNWedwonk they are kind of friends because they are in many classes together. She has brought it up many times and he said he is not a racist. He denies it. He once said he hates all Hispanics but he claimed himself one and got some scholarship.
Something very similar to this happened at the elementary school I work at. The parent was called and the student sent home for the rest of the day.
I would follow your daughter’s lead on this. If she wants to make an issue of it, support her. If she doesn’t, let it go. Help her think through the possible consequences of those choices.
Re #7
So is he suggesting that he himself should be deported?
@ucbalumnus That’s why I am not affected but husband is really upset and he wants to let the top LAC know they are taking a kid with this mentality. I am not from this country originally and that’s why I am not sure what is correct to say and what’s not in hs.
Did he say this in class in front of a teacher?
@ucbalumnus He’s only 1/4 Hispanic I guess or less. He’s a hypocrite.
You know, if more people had stood up to the followers of Hitler and other despots instead of looking the other way, maybe they would not have been able to obtain power and commit the atrocities they did. Sometimes I think we need to stand up to these types of things even when it is easier to turn the other cheek. We need to start in our own backyard sending the message that this isn’t acceptable. Your daughter deserves a school environment where she isn’t subject to comments like this.
This kid is no friend.
@Youdon’tsay I think he just said it to her
Just to be clear, your daughter is of Hispanic descent and is in the USA legally by birth or naturalization? If that is the case, than this person is an idot. I would say to avoid this guy as much as possible unless she wants to address the issue and put him in his place.
Some people are just jerks. They show up in every circle, unfortunately.
@albert69 I am from Hong Kong and my husband was born in the USA. My child is citizen by naturalization because she was born in Hong Kong
It’s not illegal to be a racist idiot. He is clearly not her friend and I would advise her to stop even pretending like she wants to interact with him. I can understand that your husband is upset, but I don’t think he has any recourse here. Presumably if the “top LAC” he will attend is as liberal as most of them are, this kid will have a really tough time socially. Living well is the best revenge.
Report to whom? What action taken? Is there a one-way speech police at your high school?
You state that your DD is actively against Trump, yet she is upset about other people being actively for Trump and his deportation policies even though both have a right to hold their respective views. Things go both ways, as what your DD may say to others may strike others as offensive, as some people find politically correct and progressive policies offensive.
I understand your DD does not like what was said to her, but to expect to get people in trouble for statements said to her that she does not like sets her up she to be sorely unhappy in the real world.
I get the impression your DD is more upset about this since she considers person a friend, as it does not sound like she would be as upset if the person said it about someone else given the fact she has been there when the person said such things before. The solution is simple - get better friends and blow this person off.
albert69, I assume you are male? You might feel differently about the guy you know if you were female.
I think your H’s suggestion of contacting the LAC is a bit over the top. Perhaps this person made the comment in jest - although I agree it is not humorous. Lot’s of “joksters” out there making inappropriate political comments in the name of Trump. If the comment upset your D I would suggest to her that she report it to the appropriate person at her high school.
I would tell him how his comments hurt your feelings, and ask for a sincere apology. Absent an apology, tell him you plan to send a letter to his future school. This type of thing falls into “he said/she said,” but now schools have systems in place to collect anonymous reports of racism, sexual assault, etc. So if his behavior continues (and it will if no one ever stands up to him), the school will be more likely to believe the next person that complains.
Honestly, I hope you scare him enough, get the apology you deserve, and teach him a life-long lesson.
Good luck!