rate this essay? haha...

<p>one of my friends asked me to write an essay for him for this tutir thing that he was doing for SAT prep and i just kinda made up this essay…
i didn’t have time to proofread or anything but how is it??</p>

<p>The topic given was something like:
there is a statement “Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.” what is your opinion?</p>

<p>There are certain factors that will guide one though his or her life. These aspects may come from other people, books, or beliefs. People are constantly influenced by these aspects throughout their lives. There is a saying, “Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.” I am certain that this saying is a logical one. There are numerous reasons for my certainty. My reasons include the nature of the word and the effect each may have on one’s life.
Prosperity is capable of being a great teacher. It may provide enough sources for one to learn and study one’s interests. Prosperity can also provide a favorable environment to study. It may be able to bestow upon one the most knowledgeable teacher known, or a vast collection of knowledge such as an immense library filled with invaluable books. Difficult situations can be solved by prosperity since people strive to earn money and do not pay attention to the morality of the procedure. Many things can be achieved by prosperity, for it works on any that seek for fortune. This is how prosperity can be a great teacher; being able to support one’s studies and providing good environment and resources.
Adversity is a quite different sort of teacher compared to prosperity. It provides motivation. As one may know, motivation is a great way to get the work done. Also adversity also hardens one, building a strong mentality. If one can deal with his or her adversities, one can overcome anything. This characteristic can help in learning and studying under unfavorable conditions. The most important thing that adversity teaches to one is motivation; and motivation, sometimes, is everything.
As I have mentioned earlier, prosperity is capable of being a great teacher; however, sometimes that is not the case. People gifted with prosperity tend to become lazy. They have no need to try hard in life and therefore they lose their motivation. However, adversity teaches one to be motivated. And once a person is motivated, anything is possible. They may not own a single book, but they will read and have knowledge more than people taught by prosperity, because they will work and work until they reach their goal. Motivation is the most important aspect of all in learning and living life. Prosperity diminishes motivation, while adversity, the better teacher provides it. Also, prosperity softens one, because one has never been through hardship, one is vulnerable to it. On the other hand, adversity makes one immune to hardship, since one has been through so much. The two most important factors in life that adversity provides when prosperity does not are motivation and ability to be immune to hardship.
The two most important factors in life are motivation and ability to be immune to hardship. These two are what the greatest teacher can teach to one. Since adversity provides both flawlessly, when prosperity provides neither, the statement, "Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater” is certainly true. There is no doubt that prosperity can provide the most favorable environment and resources for one to study; nonetheless, with out motivation these are nothing. There is a saying, “you can take a horse to the water, but you can make it drink.” This is the same situation. Prosperity will provide one the water. On the contrary, adversity will make one thirsty and look for water. Clearly adversity is more effective than prosperity. Therefore, adversity is, indubitably, the greater teacher than prosperity.</p>

<p>Thanks for reading through this… i know its long and boring… i just wanted to know if im in need of major essay practicing… anyways… how is it?</p>

<p>Lots of awkward sentences. I don’t know what to grade it, but I’d say 8?</p>

<p>out of 12? the tutor gave me a 3 out of 6
is it because i tried to use long and smart words that made it awkward?
thanks for reading it!</p>

<p>you wrote that much in 25 minutes including planning and w/e?
holy.</p>

<p>no… i think it took me longer but i didnt plan it out or proofread it… what’s w/e??</p>

<p>w/e = what ever</p>

<p>thanks!
um… bump?</p>

<p>where are your examples? this is an sat essay. everything ur teacher told you about creativity…down the drain.</p>

<p>heres the mathematical equation to get a 12.</p>

<p>2 pages filled + one history example + one literature + (no personal example) + fairly neat handwriting + 5 paragraphs total + clear thesis + a sugarcoating of SAT words = 12</p>

<p>that is what i did on the may one but i sorta had 1.8 pages and had some grammar errors so i got a 11.</p>

<p>i haven’t taken any SAT prep classes yet! taking it next year! (junior year)
thank you for the equation!</p>

<p>wish i’d known that this+this=12 stuff BEFORE I took the test! I got a 9 out of 12, but i don’t think mine had any creativity at all. i thought it was really babyish cause im only in 7th grade and haven’t learned all that stuff yet, but w/e.</p>

<p>u r in 7th grade and you took SAT???
geez</p>

<p>yeah, my EXCEL teacher kept telling me to take it, so i did. i got a 1570.</p>

<p>oh… i c…</p>

<p>opening paragraph not to good. first sentence- factors. 2nd sentence and beyond: aspects after aspects after aspects. you are too theoretical, give examples. the reader can’t relate. out of 12? 6-7</p>

<p>thank you for reading through it and analyzing (?) it.
when i wrote that i had no idea that i had to use examples
would you say that i should have sticked with factors or change the first one to aspects?</p>

<p>factors make more sense. in the second sentence don’t restate these factors… instead use a pronoun. or list them directly.</p>

<p>thank you but i dont really understand what you mean by using a pronoun. could you give me an example?</p>

<p>after saying factors. next time refer to it as they.</p>

<p>ohhhh… i get it. thank you so much! seriously!</p>

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<p>not entirely true. In may 06 I used two history examples and had 4 paragraphs, which gave me an 11.</p>