<p>You deserve better than Columbia just for these essays… I hope you get into HYP with all my heart.</p>
<p>If you had applied to Uchicago maybe you could pull it off… But from the perspective of a recent CC admittee (who remembers writing these same essays) your satire seems too much of a mask for your own insecurities. In trying so desperately to prove you are not another one of those no-life study-study-study try-hards, you actually dropped way too many hints that suggest you secretly are. Also, although I have no doubt the adcoms will immediately pick up on your sarcasm, they may still become offended by some of the comments because it’s just crass to joke about many of the ideas you brought forward.</p>
<p>OP … how did your applications turn out with these essays?</p>
<p>We’ll find out tomorrow! I’m actually excited for the OP lulz</p>
<p>LOL these just made my day</p>
<p>Wow. You’ve got guts, and even if Columbia makes the mistake of not taking you, it’d be their loss. On the other hand, if they do accept you, to quote Du Bois…“The honor, I assure you, is [Columbia’s].”</p>
<p>So… Saugus did you get in?</p>
<p>Rejected. Will post stats later, but Valedictorian out of 532, 2340 SAT, 10 passed APs, Governor of Rotary Interact District, Eagle Scout, Academic Decathlon Co-Captain.</p>
<p>Rejected at all Ivies except Cornell + Northwestern, NYU Stern, and Duke. Waitlisted at Chicago.</p>
<p>Accepted at Cornell, UC Berkeley, UCLA, and UC San Diego.</p>
<p>Can’t say whether it was the short essays that got me rejected from Columbia for sure, but my suggestion to future applicants is NOT to try this under any circumstances.</p>
<p>As expected of course. All your essays did was make you sound like a jerk.</p>
<p>Thanks for posting, Saugus. You have great stats (from what I can see). Congratulations on your acceptances~</p>
<p>^^
Well Christ, no need to be a jerk about it. Not like I would have gotten in with real essays, based on decisions at Duke and others.</p>
<p>Well, I’m really sorry to hear this man…I loved these essays. I had lower stats than you, Saugus, and I got waitlisted at Columbia but rejected everywhere else. Wrote pretty good essays so I guess they like real essays…>_>…meh I don’t know anything anymore…</p>
<p>Your second essay consists of Haha, look at me, aren’t I the sardonic-Bill-Maher-esque-liberal-who-has-read-A-Modest-Proposal-and-now-thinks-satire-is-the-greatest-thing-since-sliced-bread-and-who-complains-about-the-uninteresting-dichotomy-of-American-politics-but-still-buys-into-it-and-reinforces-it-etc. I don’t want to be a total dick but this just wasn’t a good idea and isn’t as clever as it’s trying to be.</p>
<p>You should spend the $70 on the real lottery.</p>
<p>essays were freaking genius in my opinion.</p>
<p>Basically, what SavageDetective said. The essays were a decent satire of the college admissions drama on College Confidential, so they naturally appeal to people on College Confidential. But admissions officers aren’t on CC, so it’s unlikely they’ll get the joke. Even more importantly, though, they’re not looking for satire. Humor as part of a personal essay is one thing; dry satire is another. Columbia asked for one thing, and you gave them something very different. It’s not that different than sending a r</p>
<p>i know it’s satire, but i really think you should not have put in those bits about affirmative action and african americans. </p>
<p>also (though personally i thought they were hilarious overall) after reading the essays, i’m not sure i get a clear picture of you. obviously the subtext tells me you’re witty, but beyond that, i can’t really form a full story about you.</p>
<p>oh well–i’m sure you’ll do amazingly at cornell.</p>
<p>I am happy that you got into some great schools. I think it may have worked if you had left some touchy subjects like race out of your satire. In this day and age, people take issues like race very seriously even if it is talked about in a joking manner. I wish you luck in the future in whatever you do.</p>
<p>If you submit these, you have a commitment to comedy that I admire. Mad props dude.</p>
<p>Some might find this offensive.</p>