Really angry with FIL, what would you do?

[LasMa]

<p>

My FIL is just not a nice person

</p>

<p>This isn’t going to change, no matter what you or anyone else does. Period. </p>

<p>At a certain point, they change – even if they seem not to be having significant memory problems. They become caricatures of whatever they have always been. Someone who’s always been cranky, spoiled or self-centered is only going to become more so, and there’s not a darn thing that anyone can do about it. </p>

<p>One of my big challenges with my elderly parents is encompassed in the Serenity Prayer:</p>

<p>“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”</p>

<p>Every time my parents do something irritating or hurtful or harmful, I try to see it through that filter. Will my saying something cause them to change, or apologize, or improve themselves in some way? Almost always, the answer is No. So why upset everyone? I’m trying to learn to just let it go.</p>

<p>Hugs. This ain’t easy, parenting your parents or parents-in-law.</p>

[Bay]

<p>

Sorry to say, at that age, they really only care about themselves. My mother, when told sad news about someone else, or even happy news about their grandchildren, will simply ignore it and just go on and on about what she needs, what she wants, when are you going to come do this or that for her. They are like children at this age, the world revolves around them and their needs. I pray every day I don’t live that long.

</p>

<p>This is EXACTLY how my father is, and exactly how I feel about it.</p>

<p>I think OP really ought to get her H (and any of his siblings!) to share more of the burden, at least emotionally if nothing else. She has probably been through her fair share with her own parents. Right now, she is a saint, and I say that as an non-religious person.</p>

<p>P.S.
If anyone said what OP’s FIL did about my child, whether related or not, I’d have a hard time forgiving him/her. But we soldier on, because that is what is expected of us.</p>