Really confused with leaving

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>As of this morning, the contracts with the boarding school im supposed to enter for 11th grade is cancelled. </p>

<p>I have set my eyes on BS since May of 2006. I was in love with thier campus and courses from visits and catalogues. As the year passed in gr. 10, I’ve gotten closer to friends and teachers. I ve also recieved a lot of respect also. Gr 10 at my school went better than gr 9, so feelings about leaving are differnet.</p>

<p>So as i was almost finishing packing, it just all flushed back into me that a part of me didnt really want to goto boarding school. i told my dad to call them and cancel it. </p>

<p>Reasons why…fear/anxienty

  • Ive always been an a student and i fear that ill be getting lower grades at BS</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Away from home/friends, 1 year ago, this didnt occour to me that much, but now 1 week fromschool, its hitting me hard that school is 550 miles away and ill be giving things up like sailing on weekends, partying, etc. </p></li>
<li><p>Harder chance for me to getinto top universities that ive always been looking at because of % of legacies, etc.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>-Im already getting a top notch education, going into the IB program and i stand out at my school for academics/sports…am i going to get the same??</p>

<p>-im absolutley positve that im going to do athletics post-high school. Right now, im training in top notch facilities, best in canada.</p>

<ul>
<li>I have to start over again…and i only have 2 years…am i really up to the challenge…ill have to work almost 100 times harder than i do right now.</li>
</ul>

<p>I think that the biggest thing is me starting over and fitting in with some, in my opinion, very elite children that are extremely high calibur.</p>

<p>Percentage of what i want to do…50/50…leave and go to BS or stay </p>

<p>its confusing and frustration…</p>

<p>I feel if im giving up an oppurtunity of a lifetime, but at the same time, giving up ALOT…</p>

<p>Any of you guys feel this way when you left…i think that most kids are happy that there going… .holiday weekend has started and if i do change my mind…ill have to beg my dad to figure something out…</p>

2

<p>Is this a done deal? Did you really cancel it? It seems like it’s been a difficult time for you. It will all work out in the end and you will come to the decision that’s best for you in the long run. Best of luck.</p>

3

<p>it cancelled but theres always turning back…</p>

4

<p>If you turn to regret it, you could always consider the possibility of spending a semester at the school. Some may admonish you for giving up a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity, but don’t sweat it - as lovely as bs may be to some people, for others it turns out to be either a total nightmare or a disappointment. </p>

<p>If you’re happy at your school, then I commend you for your wise choice and wish you the best of luck.</p>

5

<p>There is always college which is only 2 years away. If going away felt totally wrong to you and you are happy with your opportunities at home, then that is a good choice.</p>

<p>Most of the people who do not do well at boarding school are the people who don’t want to be there.</p>

6

<p>I agree with Burb Parent, BUT…</p>

<p>…I hope that this decision wasn’t based on one wave of fear overcoming you against the prevailing wisdom that guided you for many months. azsX HJU;P’[
]]{"POIUY</p>

7

<p>I agree with Burb Parent, BUT…</p>

<p>…I really REALLY hope that this wasn’t a matter of deferring to the fear and anxiety of one night on the eve of the great unknown ahead of you. I would advise against upending and unraveling the wisdom and rational, clear-headed thinking that had prevailed for many, many months just because you had a wave of homesickness before you left the house.</p>

<p>Think about it. If you were at boarding school for a week and felt like this you would stick it out. And that would actually be worse because you at least had allowed yourself to taste what BS was like.</p>

<p>Now, it seems that you’re changing your mind based on emotion – as there has been no new data for you to consider and reverse course. And it runs contrary to the long-term rational decision you made and even the predominant emotion you’ve felt for BS for months and months. So now – it seems from the scant info you’ve shared – you’re locking in a decision based on factors and under circumstances where you should recognize that you’re not best equipped to make the wise decision.</p>

<p>Of course, as Burb Parent says, it could be a brilliant move on your part. You could be showing great wisdom in acknowledging that you’re not ready for BS. I can’t possibly answer that for you. I’m just looking at the situation under which you made this decision and it tells me that you need to double- and triple- and quadruple-check this with other people – not just your parents – and remind yourself of all the pros and cons you weighed at a time when you were thinking clearly.</p>

<p>Getting cold feet on the eve of a big change is normal. People do it when they get married. College students who have to choose from several schools feel it. In fact, that’s usually the first such “leap of faith” decision people make in life. You’re making it a couple years earlier. And these decisions are difficult not because you might hate the school you choose or love the spouse you’re going to marry or enjoy the home you’ve put a contract on. These decisions are so weighty and angst-ridden because of all the other options that you’re saying “goodbye” to forever and ever.</p>

<p>You don’t want to say goodbye to things you’ve become familiar with. What for? For some unknown experience?</p>

<p>My S had a similar wave of anxiety hours before we went up to BS. I think it’s normal because you’ve got a tangible set of experiences and memories on the one hand and a guess or a big question mark to look forward to on the other. </p>

<p>As I told my S, “Wait until it’s time to go back after the holiday break. Instead of looking forward to the abstract concept of BS, you’ll be looking forward to Josh and Roger and Kim and Mr. Stafford and all sorts of other people…and the Wednesday dinners and the Saturday afternoon run into town and so on and so on.”</p>

<p>“Who are Josh and Roger and those other people?” he asked.</p>

<p>“I have no idea. They’re imaginary people right now, but in a few weeks they could be your favorite people in the world. You just don’t know them yet. And it’s hard to look forward to meeting them now, but once you do meet them, you won’t want to part with them.”</p>

<p>So you just have to ask yourself if going to BS means you’re saying “goodbye” to things you’ve already experienced or if not going to BS means you’re saying “goodbye” to some awesome things that, for quite a long time now, you’ve decided you want to embrace.</p>

<p>Choose wisely. Choose sanely. Make the best choice, not the emotional, spur-of-the-moment choice.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

8

<p>

</p>

<p>I’ve only heard people on this forum say that it’s harder to get into colleges coming from a good school, but this theory sounds ridiculous to me. You don’t get punished for going to a good school. That’s just stupid.</p>

<p>Anyway, I understand where you’re coming from, especially since you’re going into 11th grade and starting fresh. You’re giving up a lot either way, but since you’re staying at home at least you can stand out, be with your family, and have a good time. However, if I were you I would’ve went to boarding school and if I didn’t like it I would come back.</p>

9

<p>Actually I rewrote what I was going to say a few times. I remember you xcyuen when you trying to decide between The Hill and Cranbrook School (which was closer to home). I assume you selected The Hill because of the driving distance. </p>

<p>While The Hill is rigorous academically, I think they accept a range of students. It won’t be as difficult to be on top academically as it is at a school like Exeter. I’ve been to The Hill for a game, and the students looked nice – not all very elite and high caliber. This is what I wanted to let you know earlier today, but I thought you would already know this if you visited the school.</p>

<p>The boarding life is another thing altogether. If you are certain you won’t like it, then I can understand your hesitation. Have you been away at a sleepover summer camp? In many ways, desire for and excitement about the boarding life is more important than academic considerations. </p>

<p>If you remain on the fence, and you think it’s not the boarding life that is troubling you, why don’t you ask to talk to some students who were in exactly the same position you are in last year? They will tell you how difficult or easy it was for them to adjust. Monday is a holiday in the US, but there may be people in the Admissions office today. They might be able to arrange a discussion.</p>

<p>Good luck with your decision. Either way you have good choices.</p>

10

<p>Well, that’s your choice. I don’t think you can turn back. They probably already invited someone from the waiting list… who probably jumped at the opportunity.</p>

11

<p>Jonathon, it is true. It is much harder. If that’s the only thing you’re interested in, then yeah, prep school might now be for you. It’s about the experience.</p>

12

<p>Any proof, blair? :D</p>

13

<p>Yes, look at the matriculation data.</p>

<p>Then take a stab and guess what % of kids at, say, Exeter, are Ivy League material.</p>

<p>You don’t think that there’s a drop-off, where the first numbers (actual results) falls short of the second number (expectations)? And if you see a drop-off, do you think it’s because these schools fail to deliver the challenging academic curriculum that they promise? Or maybe you think the numbers compare favorably. In which case, do you think that the students the top BS’s admit just aren’t as promising as they like to pretend?</p>

<p>These are kids who would compete for X number of slots at public schools that don’t draw from across the country. Instead, they come together and while the numbers for Ivy League slots are mind-boggling, the % chance goes down when, instead of being in the top 5% just for showing up, you’re not even assured of being in the top 50% without busting your butt.</p>

<p>Oh, and then you have to factor in the legacies and wealth and facbrat admits from these schools…a class of admits that few public school students contend with when applying.</p>

<p>Logic dictates that it’s tougher for a diamond to be distinguished among other diamonds, while it’s easier to be plucked from a box of assorted bric-a-brac.</p>

14

<p>We’ve said it over and over again:</p>

<p>If going to an ivy is what you want,
get a 4.0 at your local public school, or non-competitive local private, and take the 12.4% acceptance chance against all the other kids like you across the country.</p>

<p>If you want everything a prep school has to offer, but are not concerned with going to an ivy,
then go to a prep school. Unless you have more to offer than a $50 mil donation and 95% of your absolutely brilliant and connected fellow seniors (who were admitted into that prep school from the top 20% of a, extremely self-selected and overcompetitive group), then don’t even think about it.</p>

15

<p>Or, if you really want to take a risk,</p>

<p>wait to apply as a 11th grader (against a 10% acceptance rate – like Harvard’s, except before you’ve even taken the SAT’s),
get in (90% unlikely),
catch up to the kids who have 2 years ahead of you in that school (hell),
then exceed them in academics (double hell),
then get leadership positions which they have been eyeing since they arrived as freshmen (if possible),
stay level-headed enough not to **** off everyone around you due to the insane amount of stress from the above,
be better than 95% of these connected kids,
apply to the schools which they have bee preparing for since they were in diapers (and quite possibly have connections, legacies, and $$$ there),
be worth more than a $50 mil donation,
get accepted (against the 12.4 average ivy acceptance rate including legacies, etc.),
have $200,000 saved for expensive tuition
and then go.</p>

<p>Don’t forget to have fun! “These are the best years of your life.”</p>

16

<p>I don’t think anyone ever thought that high school=best years. Unless their lives afterwards turned out to be truly miserable.</p>

<p>Wasn’t college supposed to be the best years?</p>

17

<p>To the original poster (whose name I forgot), I think you made a good choice. You listed your reason clearly. I tell all of my clients “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.” Everyone should have a reason for going to boarding school. If everything is going fabuloulsy at home and with your school, sports, friends, then I can’t imagine why anyone would make a change. (unless of course your school is poor academically, but you didn’t say that)</p>

<p>And to Jonathan, YES, absolutely it is harder to get into a top tier college from a top tier boarding school. I went to a seminar on Ivy admissions and talked to the director of admissions at Yale (now at Stanford) about this. They look to the top preps to get a certain type of kid. I won’t say what those types are—but you certainly have a better chance of getting into Yale from a public school in Michigan than you do at Exeter! But of course, life isn’t all about getting into college is it?</p>

18

<p>I don’t think D’yer could have said it better. Good luck. If you don’t go to BS, like Burb Parent said, college is right around the corner.</p>

19

<p>Jonathan I - I wouldn’t say school are deliberately “punishing you for attending a good school”. I have no substantial stats of any kind to back me up, but I personally feel that they are forced to pick a select few from each school only, which means that out of say, twenty students at Exeter qualified to attend Harvard, only two to four will offered admission.</p>

<p>Sadly, it is true your classmates are your competition. At a public school, it may be easier to distinguish yourself from your competition. Much harder at a more exclusive top-notch boarding school (or even a crazy college-hyped public school). </p>

<p>Nevertheless, as a student, I think that if you fully take advantage of the gorgeous opportunities your school offers you, then you have an excellent chance of getting into a good college anyway, and a good chance at life for that matter :)</p>

20

<p>It is said best in the words of the truly brilliant Bill Waterson, of Calvin and Hobbes:
“Anyone who gets nostagical about childhood clearly were never children.”</p>

<p>P.S. Anyone who thinks that high school is the best years of a person’s life are obviously in middle school.</p>