<p>I never had to impose a curfew before because she hasn’t gone out much at all throughout high school (or if she did, it was on “girl dates” – seeing a movie with 2-3 girlfriends/going out to dinner/home by 10 or 11), so I’m glad she is now hanging out with friends and going to parties. But what is a reasonable curfew? I told her I wanted her home by 12, and she gave me the sigh/eye roll: “I’m an adult.” But you’re my baby. I can’t go to sleep unless I know she is home. What’s realistic? A text by midnight with an eta? 1 am for a high school senior? It’s different with a girl. If she’s driving, I’m worried. If she gets a ride from someone who’s been drinking, I’m even more worried. Interested to hear what kind of curfews other parents impose.</p>
<p>My sister’s curfew is “by appointment,” or case-by-case. But for anything other than a movie, it’s around 10.</p>
<p>My daughter is 18. She has her own car. I trust her so I do not have a curfew. If she gets unreasonable she knows I will impose one. So far so good.</p>
<p>Conversation I had with both of my sons when they turned 18 was that they needed to be aware of what their obligations were the next morning (school, work, church) and what effect their staying out late had on the rest of the family. We came to an agreement that school nights they would be home by 11:30 and weekend nights by 12:30. If there was something special they would either tell me before hand or give me a call before I expected them home. They also agreed not to get upset if they came in at 12:31 and I was sitting on couch playing on CC. Worked well for us, and both of them just kind of continued with this same approach when they come home from college.</p>
<p>We never did enforce a specific curfew, although for under 18’s our city has a youth curfew. It was always situation specific. If she and her boyfriend were going to a 7 o’clock movie with her boyfriend, there was no reason for them to be out until midnight. A late movie or a special function like a dance or concert would call for an extended curfew. In general, our DD was usually home by midnight.</p>
<p>No curfew in our house. They would tell us what they were doing and when they would be home. I always wait up for them, so it’s very rare they would come home after 12. While they were in high school, no going out on school nights. On weekends, it’s usually one night a weekend.</p>
<p>Just thought I’d offer a HS perspective.
I’m a high school senior girl and my curfew is 10:30 on weeknights and 11:30 on weekends. If I want to stay out later, I explain to my parents why and they will sometimes extend it to 12:30. My parents always stay up until I get home and usually go to bed around 11-12, so that’s why it’s not later.
I think it’s alright curfew. I think midnight would be better, but I don’t complain. If I know that coming home by 11:30 won’t be possible, then I usually sleep over wherever I am.</p>
<p>My son will be 18 this month. I feel like I need to be up when he gets home so it’s midnight. It was 1 am for awhile but then he lied to me about his whereabouts one night so I moved it back as DH and I now have trust issues. I have learned, however, that it’s the sleepovers I need to worry about.</p>
<p>I think midnight is very reasonable barring special circumstances. She’s still living at home and knows you’ll wait up. But I like lolo’s idea of coming up with something you both agree to.
“I’m an adult” is not a very adult-like response. She may need to be reminded that she’s not really an adult until she’s self-supporting, and while she’s living at home, consideration of others, including parents, is part of the deal.</p>
<p>My son’s girlfriend through her junior and senior year had an 11:30 curfew, even on weekends. I was so grateful, as my son would pull in by 11:45. They were a very social couple, and it didn’t hurt them at all to be home before midnight. And it enabled the parents to get some needed sleep!</p>
<p>To “I’m and adult,” I would answer, “Yes, but you’re still in high school and living with us.”</p>
<p>For our sons we made curfew whatever their grade level, as long as they were in good standing with us (the parents) and school work. However, school nights was/is always 9PM unless they were participating in an organized activity. Fri-Sat and summer nights was 10PM for a tenth grader, midnight for a twelfth grader, etc.</p>
<p>Texting if they are going to vary from this was expected. Also if I or my wife text a ‘?’, they are expected to respond promptly with location and ETA. Has all worked for the most part.</p>
<p>Moonchild – that’s a perfect way to say it – technically, she’s an adult, but realistically, she lives at home (and will for the next 10 months), contributes nothing financially, so therefore has to abide by house rules.</p>
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<p>Last time son did a sleepover was in 10th grade (we caught him in a lie about it). The kids tend to use sleepovers as a way of getting around curfews, being able to drink without having to deal with Mom or Dad, being able to stay out all night, etc.</p>
<p>Son’s curfew the last half of 12th grade (he was 18 1/2) was 1am on weekends and 11pm on weeknights. I should add that it became a major battle the last few weeks before he left for college. I’ve already told him he will either abide by our rules this summer or he needs to find a different place to live.</p>
<p>Is she still in high school?</p>
<p>We never had a curfew either but we also waited up for the kids to get home. During the week, the only things they went out for were sports and music events from school. No social outings on school nights. On weekends and vacations, they knew we were waiting up and WE had to get up in the morning (sometimes) when they didn’t. Our kids are out of college now and both were home this summer. Both had the courtesy to tell us where they were going and when they would be back.</p>
<p>I had a curfew junior year of HS, but not senior year. Needless to say, a lot of the kids who had very strict curfew times in HS are now going a little too crazy in college and getting into trouble. With that said, I don’t think midnight-ish is “very strict,” I think 10:30 is though, but to each his own. In addition, a lot of kids who had strict curfews are NOT going wild in college (I didn’t mean to call out any parents, just giving my perspective of some kids who are now letting loose since they don’t have supervision).</p>
<p>Nothing good ever happens after midnight. 12 was the curfew at our house, if D felt a need to stay out later she was free to call us and ask permission, which we usually gave.</p>
<p>Sleepovers are the nemesis. We picked up our 10th grader unexpectedly one morning from a sleepover. He tried to divert us away saying he had a ride lined up, but we insisted. The hangover effects were painfully obvious. Ever since he knows better than to ask if he can sleepover.</p>
<p>So where is this 12th grader tonite? A Halloween party sleepover. We dropped him off this afternoon so he could help with set-up. My wife went in to make herself known to the adult supervision. Expectations of the boy were made clear to him. Crossed fingers.</p>
<p>My 17 year old is going to a Halloween party at a club. We already got an email from the headmaster that it is not school sponsored party and there will be alcohol. D2 has agreed not to drink. If she drinks, this would be her first and last. The party is from 9:30 to 3am. We will be picking her up at 12:30, unless she wants to be picked up earlier.</p>
<p>if you live in NJ, you already know this…but the dept of motor vehicles has decided to set the curfew for our 17 yr old kids; 11:00 PM for those who obey…makes it easier for parents though…</p>
<p>from our perspective, a senior in HS shouldn’t have to leave a friend’s house/movie to come home at 10-10:30 on a weekend night…a little too early for our liking but we didn’t make the rule…</p>
<p>When my two oldest were high school 18 yr old seniors it was 9:30-10:00 on school nights and midnight on weekends. When they are home from college we ask they be home by 1:00 am</p>