Many parents are battling the opioid crisis and other substance abuse matters. It can be very lonely for the care givers and the potential (unnecessary) shame, guilt and misunderstanding. And also for anyone who has a alcohol or drug problem.
Thought I would open a thread for people to share and for those or with those in successful recovery to help out.
Ok I’ll get the ball rolling. Haven’t had a drink in over four years. Wasn’t going good (and not relating to outside stuff or appearances, the inside stuff) and life is on remarkable trajectory. It’s possible for anyone.
Believe me when I tell you.
My brother has been sober for 24 years. Night and day.
Good for him. Good for your family too, I bet.
It’s important in many programs to give back, a good rule in life.
Keep up the good work, @privatebanker!
A staggering 23mm Americans are believed to have alcohol dependency issues.
A heartbreaking 70,000 people died last year in the USA from opioid use. That’s an astonishing 20000 more Americans in one year than all of the 15 years in the Vietnam War. Many are young. Many are elderly. They are rich stars and actors. They are poor and homeless.
Talk to first responders. Narcan is more common than any other calls. Imagine the number of deaths without this resource. Astounding. [-(
I have some friends in recovery. Kudos to you, privatebanker, and to anyone else with the courage to make such a huge change in their lives.
Just a quick minute on my soapbox: A few years ago, my husband suffered a series of seizures because his blood sugars were, very literally, off the charts. The EMT who arrived at my door, understandably, administered Narcan-- and it brought him out of the seizures. They repeated the process several times enroute to the ER. He most definitely wasn’t himself-- kind of obnoxious and argumentative instead, but it pulled him out of the seizure.
The problem is that the initial diagnosis was that he had OD’ed on something. The blood test later bore out the fact that the only problematic substance in his blood was sugar-- specifically, Easter candy. But I’m glad we actually read the hospital report and had them remove that line; heaven knows the issues it could have caused down the line.
OK, off that soapbox. And, once again, you and anyone else in recovery have my admiration.
@bjkmom Wow. Odd that it helped but good that it did. So glad your husband was ok.
Wonder how blood sugar and the opiate offset of narcan are related.
You can also see that even in a false od diagnosis you had the fear of someone finding out and making that judgement. The perception that it’s simply a character flaw or lack of willpower. It’s a complicated issue and once in the throes, the fear of that stigma is real. It keeps a lot of people sick and in hiding and unfortunately dying. And many are very young and talented. It’s everywhere. Yale to jail as they say.
One of my brothers has struggled since college and has not hit rock bottom. His children have paid a heavy, heavy price.
@Privatebanker, thanks for starting this discussion. We have to do better about eliminating stigma in both mental health and addiction.
I have a brother who has struggled with alcohol. After a very rough year, he is doing better, not drinking, but I am afraid to be optimistic. We didn’t know he had a problem for many years. Then we found out, thought he was getting help, discovered he was only going through the motions. We love him dearly and wish we could help.
@lizardly. If you know anyone who is healthy - in a mentally and spiritually balanced recovery, ask them to talk to your brother. The cornerstone of 12 step recovery programs is that it’s based on one alcoholic talking to and helping another.
It has been a real solution. For most, alcohol is not the problem but the solution (albeit ineffective and destructive) to an underlying malady. And it’s best understood by those who have made it to the other side.
I stopped drinking between ten and fifteen years ago when I realized that I was watching the clock starting at around 9:30 AM daily and counting the hours until I could have socially acceptable alcohol. Then I moved on to food and still struggle with probably a weekly urge to binge. I hardly ever do, but I think about food all. the. time. (LOL the CC cake thread!)
Things are better but it’s such a beast sometimes.
It manifests itself in many ways. Making a heavy going of life and not knowing why.
My father drank to excess in order to ease his suffering. As a teen, I was filled with disdain for his “weakness”.
Now, as a woman in my mid-50s — not much older than my father was when I was a teen — I have a lot of compassion for his plight.
I married a man who has never been drunk. He doesn’t drink. I’ve always thought that was a good thing in a partner for me.
I’ve worked with many many people with drug and/or alcohol problems. I don’t want it to happen to me. I want to be able to drink in moderation and not have to give it up.
I really look forward to my evening beer. But just like certain food items, I have to make rules for myself so one beer doesn’t turn into 3-4. Meaning, I feel the tug to drink more than one. Aren’t our brains curious creatures?
I stopped drinking wine because “one glass” was always more than one serving (five ounces) and five ounces seemed like nothing. Much happier with a 12 oz beer! I steer clear of hard liquor.
It’s a problem when the first asks for second, the second suggests a third and the third demands a fourth.
I have read that those addicted to opiates are far less likely to have a success with a 12 step type program on its own and often do better with the help of another drug (like a methadone program. ) I don’t understand the science behind it but the stats on outcomes are pretty compelling. Curious if anyone has any experience with this.
It’s complicated. And it depends on how much the person has lost the power of choice.
And do they have a substance abuse problem which can be removed by detoxication and substitute alone. There’s lots and lots of people in this category. Once clean they won’t touch an aspirin again.
Then there is the person using these not simply because of a physical addiction but they have come to see it (metaphorically speaking) as a solution to some underlying sense of dis-ease.
This requires a bit more work after getting the substances out of your system. These people have an obsession beyond craving that needs a suitable replacement that can’t be a substitute drug.
It has to be a way of living that creates a natural sense of ease and peace in your life to replace the underlying dissatisfaction with life on life’s terms. Fulfilling, long term sobriety requires abstinence imho.
But short term to get off of street opiates and pills, Substitution works well. But ultimately you don’t want to use these for eternity either.
Also. Most and I really mean most people who attend a 12 step fellowships don’t actually follow the actual program.
They go to countless meetings and listen and share their current circumstances. It really can be like poorly run group therapy.
It doesn’t work and they report it out that way.
It’s like attending a gym day after day and simply watch people work out, not lifting a weight and saying it doesn’t work to get you into shape.
It’s a three part program according to the process laid out many years ago.
Like the triangle of the symbol of the program.
Recovery Service and Unity. All three in equal measure like the triangle itself.
Unity. The meeting.
If approached correctly and the right meeting is found. Imho. The meeting was originally designed for newcomers to find tothers who have gone through the step process. And to help them in a few areas. First to determine if they are simply physically addicted or the more insidious and deadly variety.
Once they decide themselves, (no one decides for you) I and understand what’s up. You get a teacher of your own choosing (called a sponsor). Many confuse this role as someone who is your phone a friend, driver or banker. It’s none of those. It’s a person to help you navigate the steps and readings. The meetings are also places to share on your progress. But they are not enough in a vacuum. And this is where people get lost.
Recovery. The 12 steps.
Laid out in a book and written by a group of 100 individuals who found this process through trial and error. It requires one to admit the problem. Clean house. And help others. In doing so you become lighter along the way and life doesn’t seem so gray anymore.
Service. The most important part.
Working with others in the program and in your life, (home work school) changes you. It turns the ego around and your perspective on life changes. Instead of pulling away from people you turn to them, instead of focusing on yourself 24/7 you think of others.
These programs are spiritual in nature not religious in any way. It is a way of looking at things that changes. That your not alone and are part of big cosmic family in a way. It’s a rewarding and interesting way to live. And along the way you think about synthetic relief less and less. Until you don’t think of it at all.
There’s more to it. And the history is fascinating. Maybe if anyone is untested I’ll share more about the beginnings of the programs and how it all started.
Congrats on your sobriety! My 23 yo son is 5.5 years sober—completely different person. Works on his recovery everyday, says he’s never been happier in his life 
Awesome news Oscar.