I meant that it’s not as frontline an issue relative to the death rates and the resources that follow.
Not that it’s not known. So I probably did not use the best word choice.
Perhaps observed more than understood.
Mental health and substance abuse disorders are difficult subjects and still carry stigma versus empathy. But it’s moving in. The right direction.
But if 100,000 citizens per year were killed by others means. Say a terroist organization group or foreign invader, you bet it would get more focus.
I just feel awful for these folks and their families. Shame for them is real and not necessary. help is available.
And the fetanyl and heroin being poured into the country. Mostly via China and heroin via other poppy growing nations and mass produced in central and South America. And sent here via smugglers is a crime against humanity.
They seized enough fetanyl in Westchester county NY over the weekend to kill 10mm people in NYC.
100000 people per year is like the all the students in hpysm and more in total. And that’s each and every year.
My niece is going back into rehab tomorrow. By her choice. An admission that her life is unmanageable.
The rehab is 8 hours away. Far enough that she can’t call anyone to come get her in a weak moment.
The family has asked for confidentiality so I can’t say anything to most people we know. So saying it here. Please send her good thoughts for strength and clarity and sobriety, and willingness to stay in the program. She thinks she’ll have it all under control within a couple of weeks. Not nearly long enough.
Sending wishes for success your way. Her best hope is that she comes to realize that she doesn’t have the power to do it on her own. And seek some help and remedy. A few weeks can be enough if she comes to that realization. And can be honest with herself. Best of luck to her. Thanks for sharing. Like dementia I think it’s harder on the caregivers/loved ones at some level than the patient.
I applaud anyone who gets sober, through AA (NA, etc.), SMART, use of medication-assisted treatment (the “gold standard” for opioid addicts, according to researchers) or whatever else works for them. So many lives have been devastated-my best friend from college who had an MA in Psychology died last year from an opioid overdose. She got hooked after a shoulder injury back when they gave out opioids like candy.
The disease of alcoholism in two pictures. Very sad. “The worlds greatest athlete” was one of my first movie recollections and wonderous as a child. It’s just so damn sad. He made such a heavy going of life. And freedom was right there to be had.
As these issues are many times intertwined. Just wanted to mention that the music star Justin Beiber announced today he is seeking a treatment facility for depression. “I am not doing well and pray for me”.
Outside appearances can obscure the inside problems.
Hopefully this lessens the stigma for those needing help.
Many times the self medicating, addict or alcoholic, just needs a little understanding that there’s an underlying malady. The abuse is just a symptom of the problem. And the world views it as the problem itself.
Surely, no improvement can be had while in the throes of addiction or alcoholism. But it can help a care giver,friend, conworker, roommate, parent, spouse or loved one an approach from a slightly different and useful manner.
This is a great idea for a thread, I hope people will continue to contribute their experiences. I’m dropping in to write about my positive experience with an intervention. Several years ago I received a desperate message from the husband of a 62 year-old woman addicted to prescription drugs. She was purchasing a variety of drugs from foreign sources, we’re not even sure what they were. She had been a highly successful business woman but slowly became withdrawn and less communicative over the course of the year after her retirement. Finally her husband discovered the stash of drugs and found her bank statements showing shady purchases.
We decided to try an intervention, aided by a professional interventionist. I interviewed three people by phone and clicked immediately with one woman. The interventionist was remarkable, she helped us plan exactly what to say and told us what to expect. She was present during the ‘confrontation’ and drove my friend to the rehab facility. We gathered in my friend’s home while she was grocery shopping and when she returned home she knew immediately why we were there. She practically melted from relief and said she was ready to go to rehab. She said she had been wanting help for months but didn’t know where to begin, or how to ask for it.
The main thing I learned is that sometimes it can make a difference to speak up, express concern, and make all the arrangements for someone to get help. Too often we watch someone decline and hope they will ‘turn things around’, when maybe they need a little helping hand. In my friend’s case, the root cause of her problem was depression after her retirement. She has now put all of her energy into recovery, works with a sponsor, and is thriving.
My niece did go into rehab. Thank goodness. A 40ish single mother with elementary age children. (The children have always been protected and safe - family members live with her and have made sure of this. Fortunately or unfortunately, they don’t see much of their mother. ) She had been on a path to completely ruining her life despite being brilliant and having a good degree and career. When she is sober, you would never EVER guess she’s severely alcoholic. But she was drinking so much it was beginning to cause health issues. It had become pretty clear she either needed to stop or she would die. She lost her wonderful job because of drinking at work, needs sobriety before taking another job.
The first week in rehab is a complete ban on electronics, so we have no news on how she is doing. Please keep up the positive thoughts/prayers.
@calla1 Good luck. As I mentioned in an earlier post, AA was founded by a practicing surgeon who went to Dartmouth College and a stock trader/Army Officer from NYC.
Alcoholic #3 (first recruit by the founders) was in his 7th rehab when they approached him. Accomplished lawyer and community leader.
Look at Betty Ford, Kitty Dukakis and Joan Kennedy. Three powerful and well educated women leading some of the
so-called “ leading families” in America. First Ladies etc.
There is not a stereotypical alcoholic except for the underlying sadness, like depression is impossible to just stop on willpower. Some can but they generally are not alcoholic but abusers. It’s a fine line and many times they look the same. But all can find help. Some need prevention and treatment. Some need a more spiritual approach to get to the underlying discomfort with life.
Glad to hear she is in a safe place. And I hope she finds a solution.
Thank you for posting and caring for her. She is likely is wracked with guilt and shame. A kind word or gentle guidance without judgement is more effective at this time.
@privatebanker – good for you, starting this thread! It’s amazing to me that for all the things we talk about on CC, this doesn’t come up much. Have you found support in podcasts and online groups or more in the traditional AA experience (where people meet up in person and sit in a circle)?
Great independent radio network called Take 12 Recovery radio. Podcasts, weekly shows (these are mostly humorous) and access to long form content. Walking through the big book, page by page is wonderful. A conversation about intervention is another. The have a site and can also be found on Podomatic.
The absolutely most helpful and for life not just recovery is ZenBitchSlap. Hosted by Paul Hedderman. On his site or YouTube. He is remarkably clear on some important view of life and view of the world. But contemporary and not theoretical.
This week, take a minute to be thankful for what you have, not what you think you are missing. It’s a lot more than you think, even when you think it’s not much. Or not enough.
Well, my niece’s rehab went sideways. Not according to her, but in my opinion.
She's getting out tomorrow with something like only 16 days sobriety. She's never made it past 19 days even when she was most committed to recovery.
She's being told to arrange intensive outpatient. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet lots of money that IOP isn't going to happen.
And the worst one: she seems to successfully have played the victim card at her treatment center. Her therapist actually called my brother last night and told him HE is the reason she drinks, because he abandoned her (with his own addiction/rehab issues) when she was a child, and she had to grow up too fast.
I am appalled. First of all, how does making him responsible for her drinking help my niece at all? If he’s the cause, who is responsible for working a program and her recovery? It sounds to me like her therapist gave her a free pass to drink. Secondly, the therapist has NO IDEA what my niece has put the family through. The knots people have tied themselves into just to keep her alive. (Yes, the family is attending Alanon).
Yes, there are issues from my niece’s childhood. (And to be clear, there was no physical or sexual abuse but yes I’m sure there are emotional scars from some exceedingly ugly scenes and a suicide attempt.) But given her life-threatening drinking, it seems to me that she needs to put her focus on working the steps rather than spending her time talking about how hard she had it in childhood. The childhood issues can be addressed later when she is sober enough to discuss them without drinking.
I am surprised or better yet, shocked, that a licensed therapist would call a sibling and share confidential patient conversations.
Imagine if every mom and dad were called about their kids after a therapy session?
That aside perhaps your nephew’s perspective on what was said is different than the actual message.
No one. And I mean no one “causes” substance abuse problems. It’s just not how it works. But victimhood, terminal uniqueness and less than an honest self appraisal is all too common.
You and your family will be in my personal thoughts. I wish you serenity in the face of this obstacle.