@mark54000 - this is not about you. Please start your own thread.
MAY is the key word. This is why I dislike this thread so much. If this kid had a social media presence the mother would have never looked up the family. There is just too much judging on here and I will bow out for a little and let others get the chance to comment
So, found the story which was at the back of my mind. A doctor was about to hold a talk in how to avoid fatty liver in front of an audience of twenty people, one of which up and stabs him to death. The doctor was just that, a doctor specialising in liver disease, not involved in crime, politics or wars himself, but he had a famous last name, his late father formerly having been a head of state. The killer, a psychiatric patient, alleged the father to have been involved in industry which was allegedly involved in war crimes in Vietnam, and the son needed to be killed because of it. Fame and notoriety both attract stalkers, and they can turn out to be dangerous. I am frankly surprised the son, whether you think he’s reasonably concerned or just paranoid, doesn’t appear to have changed his name yet.
Anybody can post anywhere on CC. You don’t need to be a parent. Parents post on the College Life and other student forums ALL the time. Debating isn’t allowed (though certainly tempting 
) but neither is making new posters feel unwelcome. Some of the speculation here is quite a leap.
@3kids2dogs Agree with you there. Also, meeting the BF wouldn’t really ally my fears. OK, let’s say he’s a great guy. What do I know after lunch that I didn’t before? The long term effects of his upbringing are unknown and will be for some time.
As a parent, I’m not going to be comfortable with this situation. The daughter seems to be avoiding having the conversation the Mom needs/wants. With any luck, the relationship will end for other reasons.
No; it’s controlling. Respect is a two way street.
I’m relatively new on CC, but I thought that “debate” wasn’t allowed.
No it’s not. My ex didn’t like hugs. I respected her wishes. Was she controlling? Of course not.
Maybe the boyfriend doesn’t like having his picture taken. Asking somebody not to take a picture is not controlling.
I only talked about the pictures because the OP said it was unusual.
@mark54000 , you wrote: “If this kid had a social media presence the mother would have never looked up the family.”
This is not what the OP has said happened.
The OP stated that the change in her daughter’s selfie habits and the bf’s lack of a social media presence made her uncomfortable. However, she looked up the family when the daughter mentioned the father had committed a crime for which he was spending life in prison, but would not say more than that. Yeah, I kind of understand the moms urge to google that. You’ll just have to keep on feeling sad about that.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
It’s not. And this thread has really just turned into a circular discussion with people that have no horse in this race. Closing thread for now. I think the OP has received enough advice to start. If she wants to add to the thread, she can PM me to reopen.
Mark 54000 =■■■■■
Maybe a moderator can help here.