<p>Well, I have only had one wedding, but others may have more…but it’s the first one, it seems, that people go all out on. If you were redo-ing your wedding today - not at your current age, but at the age you were when you got married what would you do differently/what would you do the same?</p>
<p>My First Wedding</p>
<p>My age: 22 Husband: 25
Typical midwest wedding. Catholic church. Friday evening. About 200 guests (did we really know that many people? No, our parents did…) Reception afterwards in a rented hall. Food - typical polish food buffet. Live band (that our parents picked out -why?) Honeymoon - Hilton Head.</p>
<p>Redo:
No Friday evening, no November date that happens to be the first snow of the year.<br>
Less guests! Pare it down to CLOSE family, college friends, CLOSE neighbors - probably at least 1/2 less guests. Maybe then, I would get to spend a bit of time with them all.<br>
OUR decisions - it floors me how much we let our parents decide. Flowers, music, food.
About that food - something yummy, but make it all about the cake - I would LOVE a luscious cake!
Honeymoon - the place was nice, but we did little to no research about where we were going. I remember not really having a clue what to do, where to go when we got there - with the power of the internet today I’d re-do a honeymoon by traveling somewhere quiet, with good food and a great hotel or bed and breakfast for a night or two.</p>
<p>Most of all, I’d spend much less and save much more to do other things. :)</p>
<p>DH wrote ceremony, we picked out a church with an ocean setting and had the wedding outdoors, overlooking the Pacific on a clear September Saturday afternoon.
I chose the music and my dress. My bridesmaids were my three childhood best friends and my SIL.
Our reception was held in my parent’s backyard, transformed by rented tables, umbrellas and simply catered. The music was complimentarily provided by DH’s childhood best friend’s band.
We had 150 guests. It helped that DH and I went to school together, so we had many of the same friends.<br>
One glitch that could have been a disaster but wasn’t: Our photographer (from the famous but long-gone department store, Robinson’s) never showed up! So we don’t have any posed photographs. What we do have is a lovely compilation of candid photos taken by family and guests, and pulled together, printed and made into albums, courtesy of Robinson’s- who were just happy we didn’t sue.
Our honeymoon was a long weekend at a lovely Inn in Santa Barbara. We couldn’t afford a bigger deal, and we were happy to get back and start our lives together, as we didn’t live together before we got married. ( haha, of course not…we were still children!!)</p>
<p>Re-do: As for what I’d change- just the dress. Far too poofy for my taste today.
And maybe I’d make sure to confirm the photographer. But, that little blooper saved my parents a bundle.</p>
<p>I was just talking about this to H- cause our first wedding was not good- we were very young IMO ( I was 23- he was barely 26- we paid for everything ourselves - so our families didn’t have much to say about guests I think we had about 60-70 people )
I was 16 weeks pregnant and suffering through a threatened miscarriage ( which occurred three days after the ceremony)
so * that* I would definitely change.
Also better dress- I bought a sale dress off a dept store rack to save money but it’s main redeeming feature was that it looked like a wedding dress- but not that flattering for me or my usual style.</p>
<p>It also would have been nice to have had a honeymoon, but because of money considerations , our " honeymoon" was one night in a hotel about a mile from our house, where I slept in the other bed because I was so uncomfortable from having contractions all night. </p>
<p>I actually didn’t want to get married that morning, because the contractions were getting stronger & we didn’t have anyone even coming in from out of town- but H was big on appearances & I didn’t feel well enough to argue. :(</p>
<p>I would have waited- so that it could have really been a celebration-
But it actually was beautiful considering.</p>
<p>We were married outdoors in Azalea Way @ the Washington Park Arboretum by the Univ of Wa.
My sister had made her own maid of honor dress ( I had picked the pattern and let her pick the material) & my grandfather ( who was thrilled) gave me away, as my father had died 6 years before.
Our music was simple, just an acoustic guitar ( which was beautiful, but now I would go with a trio of strings) & H’s sister was the photographer cause she had a SLR ( but my inlaws kept the negatives!+ she didn’t really take many pictures- not really any posed shots except for the cake thing)
The main things I would have changed would have been -
not ill
different dress
( H wore a morning coat- he looked great)
had friends as bridesmaids ( I didn’t have any cause I wanted a small wedding and if I had this friend- then I would have had to have that friend & that friend)
Had more of a luncheon afterwards- I was planning everything myself, but since I was on bedrest I couldn’t really research- also hadn’t been to many weddings, I really didn’t know what I was doing.
Plus. No. Internets.
I didn’t even have a rehearsal dinner- or rehearsal- mostly cause Ididn’t feel well & cause we didn’t feel we could afford to give more of a donation for the ministers time, even though he was very nice & a family friend + he spoke at my dad’s service.
So the whole thing was really surreal.
But we did have fabulous weather- in mid June in Seattle-
very unusual*</p>
<p>Next year will be our 30th anniv ! ( O. M. G. )
Perhaps we will redo it & I can have my kids be my bridesmaids- that would be :D</p>
<p>If I had it to do over again, husband and best man would NOT wear white tuxes with rose colored cumberbunds! What was I thinking? :eek: Gotta love the '80s, huh?</p>
<p>Thank the goddess we had normal colors.
H had a medgray morning coat & lighter waistcoat- I didn’t have a veil, but pink roses in my hair and my sister ( who I always thought was much prettier than me) had a rosey mauve colored long dress.</p>
<p>I *have *seen a " great" picture of H before I met him, taking his girlfriend to the senior prom in a yellow tuxedo. Blonds don’t really look good in yellow.</p>
<p>( I also remember attending a few weddings around that time, where the color selection was " very interesting". In comparison- white with rose doesn’t really sound that bad.-- oh ok maybe it does:)- so were your bridesmaids in rose colored dresses?)</p>
my gown. I bought it on sale because it was cheap and my mother liked it. I never did. I think I would have looked around more.
his outfit. He wore a white dinner jacket with his tux for an August wedding. Should have just worn the black one. When we honeymooned on a cruise (my father worked for the company) and he wore it to dinner, he was mistaken for a waiter!</p>
<p>Missypie, ok, make it whichever wedding you would like to focus on. :)</p>
<p>Also, my bridesmaids dress - TOTALLY dowdy!!! This hot pink-rose color - can you say GLOWING??! They were covered from neck to ankle - not a piece of skin showing!!!</p>
<p>Chedva, I did the same thing with the gown. It was “the sample dress” and then they had to alter it because I was swimming in it. I never “loved” it, but was talked into it by my mother. She kept letting me know that spending a lot of money is stupid because you only wear the dress once. My dress was chosen based upon price. It was not ugly, but it was not a design that I would ordinarily choose.</p>
<p>I would have insisted that the band turn down the volume a bit. Other than that, I loved my wedding: 1985, evening in a NYC hotel, H and best man in classic black tuxes and my maid of honor (we had no other bridesmaids or groomsmen) in a navy dress of her choosing. I was 27, H was 32. My dress had very poufy sleeves - it was the '80s, after all - but it looked good on me at the time.</p>
<p>We also had pink bridesmaid dresses. Ha ha, the bridesmaids chose them and they were pretty ugly, but they were happy in them since they picked them out. The men all had on nice black tuxedos, so they looked good.</p>
<p>For the saddest of reasons, the death of one of our siblings, Mr PMK and I canceled our big wedding and held a very small ceremony/reception in my Aunt’s living room. So, if I could change anything, of course, it would that all our siblings were there and we had the big wedding I no doubt would have later regretted spending so much time and money on!</p>
<p>As it happened, circumstances forced us to have a wedding that I would not change. </p>
<p>Well, except for one thing…I would have confirmed with the JP the day before because 45 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to have started he was still a no-show. My mother got so frantic that she asked a Captain in the Navy who was attending if he would be authorized to marry us if she got him a bucket of water to stand in! Instead my father found more champagne for my mother and the JP did eventually show up…whew!</p>
<p>Funny, I was just thinking about this the other day. I was also married in the '80s, with dusty pink bridesmaids dresses. </p>
<p>I wanted to ask my best friend growing up to be my maid of honor, but my mom insisted that I ask my sister and I still regret not having my friend in my wedding. </p>
<p>We moved my wedding date up by two months when my sister-in-law got pregnant. The idea was that at only six months, she would not be showing as much as at eight months. Wrong! She had gained 40+ pounds by the wedding. I still wish we would have kept the original date. </p>
<p>The band cancelled at the very last second. A good friend was kind enough to fill in, but we missed having him as a guest. I would have hired a more reliable band!</p>
<p>My in-laws acted like idiots at the reception. They sat in the back corner, barely spoke to anyone and looked like they were at a funeral. My mother was furious and wanted to confront them and I begged her not to. Now I wish that I had confronted them, it would have saved me many years of anguish and putting up with their rudeness. </p>
<p>One thing I do not regret is my wedding dress. It was a beautiful, elegant tea length lace gown. The underdress was a dusty pink and the lace looked like antique linens. I still love that dress! I really wanted something simple and elegant and it was just what I was looking for. After weeks of shopping, I found this dress in a little bridal shop well off the beaten path. I tried the sample on and fell in love with it. I went home and called my mom, who was disappointed that I didn’t want to wear a full white gown with veil and everything. But she said if I really loved it, I should get it. I called the shop the next morning, only to learn that they could no longer order that dress. I was so disappointed! A couple of weeks went by and the shop owner called to tell me that they had a dress that had been ordered, but was no longer wanted by the client. I went in and tried the dress on and it fit me perfectly, didn’t have to have any adjustments made at all. They offered me the dress for a great price and I went home with it that very day. It was meant to be afterall!</p>
<p>If I had the entire thing to do over again, I wouldn’t change too much. And especially not the groom, we have been married for almost 27 yrs and I still really like him! Not bad considering were 24 and 26 when we got married.</p>
<p>My first wedding was planned by my mother, 150 guests, very nice reception. Most of the guests were my mother’s friends, she invited everyone she has ever known. I hated it, I hate being the center of attention. If I had to do it all over again it would be at city hall.</p>
<p>My wedding was simple and inexpensive (H and I were students; my parents had just had an extended period of unemployment) but, I think, pretty elegant for the slim budget. 75 guests. A friend who wanted to start a catering business, and needed experience, prepared a lavish buffet at cost and made us our cake. Other friends, who were professional musicans, contributed a pre-ceremony concert as our wedding gift. My sister, the bridesmaid, wore her prom dress and I bought myself another, slightly fancier prom dress in ivory. Groom and best man wore their (only) suits. No flowers, no alcohol.</p>
<p>My only regret was that we could not afford a photographer. We only have a few, now rapidly fading and discoloring, snapshots. Many of our dear relatives and friends who were in attendance have passed on and I would love now to have better pictures of them enjoying themselves.</p>
<p>I was also married in 1980 and my bridesmaids also wore that dusty rose/pink color! How many of us chose the china “Jasmine” by Minton because it was on the back cover of every bridal magazine?</p>
<p>We got married after living together for five years and we were older (34 and 36) with good incomes so we paid for everything ourselves. My mom had my wedding fund from so many years prior so I let her pay for my wedding dress which I absolutely loved.</p>
<p>We both love Art Deco and lived in NYC so we held the wedding at the Rainbow Room. Since we got married in January the whole place was empty and we kept adding rooms to hold the different parts of the event for no additional costs. We started with a small 50 person (family and a few friends) cocktail hour and then held the ceremony. My nieces walked my mom down the aisle (my dad died two years before) and one held my bouquet during the ceremony, the other held the ring (or was supposed to). My in-laws walked down the aisle and that was it. My husband and I walked down together. This was followed by a sit down formal dinner. We then expected most of the older relatives to leave and we followed this all with a large party for friends with a zydeco band.</p>
<p>No cutting of the cake, no walking in as Mr. & Mrs. none of that “wedding stuff.” Just a great party with a huge buffet overlooking the city. Since we were living together for so long we really didn’t need anything just because we were suddenly married; so with the invitation we sent a note asking that in lieu of gifts, people donate to one of two charities we had chosen. That worked fine for everyone except my mother-in-law who wanted to know what her friends would buy for us compared to what she had bought for their kids marriages! (Those gifts are still, 19 years later, sitting in their original boxes in the attic!)</p>
<p>The only thing I would change is some of the guests I did and did not invite to the party, otherwise, both my husband and I still think it was one of the best parties we ever threw!</p>
<p>My husband and I were both 24 when we married. I just finished grad school and he was about to start med school. We had very little money and had to make plans on a tight budget. My mom paid for our reception. My husband and I paid for the band, flowers, and cake. My cousin took pictures. My mother-in-law made my dress. We had about 200 guests (many, many relatives), but it wasn’t at a fancy place. I lived in a small town in Connecticut and I don’t think there even was a fancy place in our town. </p>
<p>I don’t think there is much I would change. Our wedding reflected who we were at that time.</p>
<p>I was 20, hubby was 21. We’ll have our 25th this year. It was a typical 80s wedding. I would have changed my dress because it’s what my mother liked (actually, it was the first dress I tried on and she hated shopping, so . . .). We didn’t have a photographer, either, which I regret now, but it was mostly a lovely day and the start of our family. The one thing I wouldn’t change is the flowers. We were married at Christmas time and the flowers were spectacular. To this day I have never seen more beautiful flowers.</p>
I think we had about 60-70 people )