<p>We were married in 1975, at age 24 for both of us. I came from a very large Irish Catholic family which typically had large (200 guests) hotel wedding receptions. I wanted something both more simple more individual, and really was not at all close with most of this extended family. So I invited only aunts and uncles, along with friends, and had no cousins, except for two I was close to (and got around having them present by making one an attendant and the other an altar boy). My parents were really good about not insisting on having their friends on the guest list - I think a couple that were their “best” friends were invited, but that was it.</p>
<p>We were married at the church of the parish where I had gone to elementary school. It is very near Gramercy Park in NYC. We had a morning wedding (I could not see sitting around all day waiting to get married) with a champagne brunch following. Some long-term neighbors who had not been invited to the wedding still came to the church, which I appreciated. </p>
<p>Re the food, chicken Kiev was the main course. The tiered wedding cake was from one of the best bakeries in NYC and, I thought, very pretty. Even though it was daytime, there were tall candles on all of the tables.</p>
<p>One thing I really liked was that the guests could walk the couple of blocks from the church to the reception. (Again, I really wanted simplicity and hated the idea of a commute from ceremony to reception.) The reception was held at [The</a> National Arts Club](<a href=“http://www.nationalartsclub.org/]The”>http://www.nationalartsclub.org/) and our formal photos were taken in Gramercy Park. It was a beautiful May day.</p>
<p>Things I am glad we did:</p>
<p>– We did the (non-traditional but lovely IMO) invitations ourselves in our names – and paid for the wedding ourselves. My folks were OK with that as I was the oldest and they still had several kids to educate and they were fine with my taking over wedding planning, etc. There were some comments from the older generation (paternal grandparents) but they were “time and place” people and I felt OK doing our own thing. (But my mom did get notes after the wedding saying how lovely it was.) We now have the invitation in a frame with our wedding picture.</p>
<p>– We wanted simplicity and kept the wedding small and low-key but with nice touches. </p>
<p>– We limited guests to 55 and the reception music was provided by a pianist. H and his ushers wore dark suits with matching ties rather than tuxes. (H thought the idea of wearing rented clothing was silly and he did not own a tux at the time.) Bridesmaids wore matching small print flowered blouses with long flowing pale blue skirts they had sewn themselves from identical fabric. Flower girl wore a lovely long dress with sheer white overlay that picked up a color (yellow) in bridesmaids’ blouses. They carried baskets of yellow daisies. I wore a gown I had purchased from a bridal warehouse in NYC’s garment district but my mother and I agreed it was just right – simple but with some lovely touches.</p>
<p>– I refused to wear any makeup. My mother came to my apartment the morning of the wedding and asked me to please consider wearing makeup for this special day. My response was, “He fell in love with me without makeup and he can marry me without makeup.” My mother probably looked prettier than I did that day, but that is OK.</p>
<p>– We hired an excellent photographer who had done another wedding we had attended, and we liked that he had not been obtrusive, but we went for his smallest package (20 pics in a leather album, with some extra prints for the parents). Good thing we hired the pro, as one of my brothers had asked a friend to do photos at the church and that guy, it turns out, did not have film in his camera.</p>
<p>Things I would change:</p>
<p>– H would know how to dance. I intend to give my own son dancing lessons as an engagement gift when the time comes. </p>
<p>– Mother-in-law would dress more appropriately (showed up in a polka-dotted pantsuit despite having asked well in advance what my mother would be wearing --which was a beautiful gauzy floral street-length dress). Why ask, if you are going to do your own thing anyway? I still remember being up at the altar and catching a glimpse of MIL in the first pew and doing an inward groan. </p>
<p>– Mother-in-law in general, although I actually got along OK with her, but she was hardly a big plus in my life. H had to spend much energy on his mother prior to the wedding just so that she would be there. (She did not attend her own D’s wedding years later.)</p>
<p>Considering how young we were at the time, I am surprised at how well we handled things.</p>
<p>P.S. Maid of honor (my undergrad roomie) and best man (H’s grad school roomie) met at our wedding, began dating, and H and I were in *their *wedding party a couple of years later. They have now been divorced for over two decades. But it was a nice story while it lasted.</p>