<p>DH and I were married in 1987. One of the highlights of the ceremony was my mom’s surprise gift to me. She asked a friend’s son to sing Ave Maria. He had a Josh Groban voice and I’ll never forget it.</p>
<p>Bridesmaids wore bubblegum pink (what was I thinking?) and I’m relieved to say they’re still my friends! There isn’t much I would change except I’d check DH’s socks to make sure he was wearing dress socks with his tux instead of white SPORTS socks! :)</p>
<p>My second marriage is the one that has lasted 21 years (so far). Both of us had lived away from home for a while, in different cities, so we had a choice of 4 different cities and we chose H’s home town for the largest critical mass of relatives (all his.) The engagement was short and we flew in and had exactly one Saturday to meet with photographer, florist, caterer. I wouldn’t recommend that.</p>
<p>As I posted on another thread, there was something wrong with every aspect of the wedding. </p>
<p>The photographer didn’t photograph my relatives, only H’s, he was obnoxious, and he photographed the whole thing with his fly down. </p>
<p>The flowers were pretty, but not what I asked for (but the gardenia bouquet was nice.)</p>
<p>The reception was in the inlaws’ back yard and my FIL threw a fit until he got his way over the location of the flowers. (What FIL has ever cared about the location of the flowers at the reception?!)</p>
<p>The music - H asked his friends to sing what they wanted…which resulted in people with professional quality voices droning on and on in German…</p>
<p>And H asked his HS best friend to play the organ…he made LOTS of mistakes, which are pretty funny to listen to after the fact.</p>
<p>Cake was hideous.</p>
<p>Caterer messed up big time - it was supposed to be a fajita buffet, with meat cooked on a grill, which ran out of propane…the cheese and sour cream were found days later where the caterer had stashed them and forgotten to serve them.</p>
<p>Let’s see - oh yes, my only attendant was my sister. I had her dress made to her design and she hated it and when she got out of the plane she let it drag on the floor … and it went downhill from there, including her skipping the family breakfast the morning of the wedding so she could play in the hotel room with her boyfriend (she was 34 and had two kids at this point.) </p>
<p>I could go on.</p>
<p>What wouldn’t I change? Hmmm…we honeymooned in Switzerland and that was really nice. And we really didn’t know what a disaster our wedding had been until we watched the video and saw the pictures.</p>
<p>This is such a sweet thread!</p>
<p>I have trouble answering the question. We had an absolute storybook wedding – basically everything was perfect at the time. And a few weeks later, we learned that my father-in-law was so ticked off about the cost and the inadequacy of our handling of the relationship between his wife and my mother-in-law that he never wanted to speak to us again . . . and he didn’t for about four years. So I would pretty much change everything about it to avoid that, but at the time nothing was wrong at all.</p>
<p>Our only mistake was a big, philosophical one. In our minds, we were getting married for our families, not ourselves. We didn’t need no paper to confirm our love! The wedding was to show our acceptance of our parents’ values. So why not let them plan it? Without the natural restraint of mother-bride conflict, everything just kept getting bigger, especially since the one demand we made was accommodating my enormous extended family. (Ours was basically the last wedding to which all the cousins were invited. No one else was ever that stupid again.)</p>
<p>Men wore morning coats, bridesmaids charcoal and gunmetal striped things that looked pretty elegant. Gorgeous, simple, lush, off-the-shoulder silk charmeuse dress. We had five sisters between us, so large wedding party. The rabbi who presided was a newly ordained college friend of ours. It was at a fabulous resort that had just opened – so it was not yet world-famous – about 5 miles from where my in-laws lived, and they owed my father-in-law some favors since he did a lot of corporate entertaining and had helped them get off the ground. (It was like a Destination Wedding, except that was where my wife’s parents lived.) We were 27 (by a week) and 25.</p>
<p>My wife did throw her bouquet, but there was no garter thing, and no hora.</p>
<p>We spent the night there, and were supposed to go back home the next morning, the first day of my wife’s last year of law school. But at the wedding itself we decided to blow off that week – I was starting a new job, but not for a couple of weeks – and spend it at her mother’s vacation house, so that’s what we did, with four friends. (Ah. That last moment with no employers, no pets, no kids.)</p>
<p>I would NOT change the bride. No no no no.</p>
<p>First wedding: huge princess wedding gown :0, men in tuxes, sit-down dinner for 125, 5-piece band, open bar; honeymooned in Alaska</p>
<p>Second wedding: new groom (divorced H1 years ago) 
if the right one comes along with small ceremony</p>
<p>Great stories here! My mom pretty much planned our 1978 wedding, but I didn’t really mind. She’d had a very small wedding herself and really wanted to give me, the only daughter, an occasion to remember. My oldest d is getting married next year, but I feel no desire to be anything other than a financial backer with the right to poke my nose in on an extremely limited basis.</p>
<p>What I would do differently from way back when: choose bridesmaid dresses that weren’t, um, hideous. I was pressured by a weight-conscious bridesmaid who wanted maximum coverage, which ended up including matching floor-length coats to go with the otherwise innocuous empire-waisted, spaghetti strap floor-length gowns. I wouldn’t go near the color again (a blue you don’t often see nowadays). The coats had hoods, which were - interesting. Not fun to look at the photos today. I’d coordinate the colors of the flowers better, too.</p>
<p>My biggest regret about the whole thing was the choice of photographer. I realized I disliked him after giving him a deposit; then realized I detested him on the day of the wedding, when he came through the door and immediately said, “Is that what your hair is going to look like?” Why, yes, unless a fairy godmother walks in right this minute and bestows the gift of better DNA. :rolleyes: He was obnoxious throughout and actually made me cry a couple of times. Everything else was lovely, though! :D</p>
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<p>About a month after the wedding, we found out that H’s twin brother was furious because he had come in from out of town for the wedding and he didn’t feel that enough attention had been paid to him. Okay, the bride and everyone on the bride’s side came in from out of town. The groom and all of the musicians and all the groom’s friends came in from out of town. Probably only about a quarter of the guests *didn’t *come in from out of town.</p>
<p>We were married in 1982 and I wouldn’t change much. Ours was one of the first “destination weddings” because we were married in Vermont where my family has had a home for years. As I recall, of all the people we invited, only 1 person couldn’t make it…and all the others had to travel 3-6 hours to get there. I loved my dress, flowers, food, band, etc. It wasn’t an overly formal affair, but still classy. Bridesmaids wore pink (not dusty rose!) sundresses (by Malia, I think). Groom, ushers, etc wore white pants, navy blazers and striped ties (no Vineyard Vines ties back then). Friends still say that our wedding was one of the most fun weddings they’ve ever attended.</p>
<p>What would I change…the weather. It was in the 90s that day, something very rare in Vermont in July. Little stone church was not air conditioned. I still remember the sweat pouring down my legs. Also, there were no limos in the area so my Dad & I rode to the church in the back of our wood-paneled Chrysler station wagon. We still laugh at that picture!</p>
<p>June 1982. Small southern town. DH just turned 23 (in May). I turned 20 on our honeymoon.<br>
Since I was so young, my (single parent) Mom paid. We were on a tight budget.</p>
<p>Bridesmaids dresses were powder blue, very simple, ordered fr. the Montgomery Ward catalog. I still like them.
DH and groomsmen wore navy blue tuxedoes.
Bought my dress off a clearance rack in my college town for $140. Wore a bridal hat rather than traditonal veil…very 80’s. Dress was an A-line sleeveless dress with a vee neckline front and back that was covered with silk lace and trimmed with cluny lace that outlined the bodice and draped over my shoulders. Not one bit of poofy anywhere. Still like it now. </p>
<p>We got married at 3:00 in the afternooon at the church I grew up attending. DH and family lived in same town and attended same church. 350 invitations were sent. My cousin sang “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg</p>
<p>Reception was in the church fellowship hall. There was no music. Food was “finger foods” and the cake. Our catering budget was $300. The roses on top of the cake were cut from my neigbors yard on the a.m. of the wedding. </p>
<p>We did have a photographer so have nice pics. in an album.
We honeymooned at Captiva Island FL.</p>
<p>Things I would change…
<p>2) I would have had my friends as bridesmaids rather than family members that I didn’t even particularly like.</p>
<p>3) Would have chosen a diff. honeymoon destination. Something cheaper, simpler, closer to home. We saw an ad. in the back of Brides magazine that looked so exotic…tropical paradise, thought it would be perfect…hah…south FL in early July? What were we thinking? Charged it on credit card and spent a year paying it off. We still say our honeymoon was our worst vacation ever.</p>
<p>4) would stand still a minute longer to give the wedding director time to fluff out my dress train. As it was, I charged down the aisle as soon as the music started so the pic taken from behind as my bro. escorted me down the aisle shows my train all wadded and rolled up…classy.</p>
<p>JHS: I like a man who can recognize good silk charmeuse. You description of the bridesmaids’ gowns is priceless.</p>
<p>I know how much you love your wife. I think that’s the sweetest part.</p>
<p>And your FIL sounds like he has rocks in his head.</p>
<p>My second wedding to current H (with ten guests) was in our very beautiful 1858 whaler’s house overlooking Port Jefferson Harbor. Our daughter (18 mos.) was our favorite guess. H made me get married or he wouldn’t agree to a second child. I wanted to get pregnant first, and was, and thought I was miscarrying, but I was only miscarrying one of twins, and S is now acting really grown up this summer.</p>
<p>We don’t have that house anymore, which is a shame, but we do live two streets away in something bigger. Being married caused a lot of hassles when I wanted H to go bankrupt and his business hadn’t been incorporated long enough. So we paid off all our his creditors and put both kids through college. Has been grueling work.</p>
<p>H is still not my idea of a husband but he makes the best best friend, and he is my best friend, so all is not lost.</p>
<p>HERE IS THE FUNNY PART: Our parents (three of them, my dad was dead) didn’t like the modesty of our plans on Long Island, and my mom went to stay with his parents in Florida, and they threw a big, big party (150 guests) to celebrate our wedding. Everyone was happy. They got to party with mostly my in-laws friends.</p>
<p>He had the modest little ceremony we wanted – it cost $400, all inclusive. We watched 30 Something for our honeymoon – it was a Tuesday night and DD slept through the night.</p>
<p>She is starting law school in six days.</p>
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<p>At the risk of revealing my pathetic-ness, two weddings, zero showers.</p>
<p>About a month before the first, my two bridesmaids who lived in town took me to Red Lobster and then gave me gifts of lingerie. THEN they told me that my shower was supposed to be that night, but that no one could come. I know that they wanted to make sure I knew they had tried, but it made me feel terrible.</p>
<p>Second wedding, three of my girlfriends said that since I was getting married out of town, they’d throw us a party after the wedding. August turned to September which turned to October, at which time they told me they were too busy to have the party.</p>
<p>Okay, now I need to change my screen name and hide under a rock.</p>
<p>Great thread idea. It was way too formal. I love the changes in menswear since then. My husband had a tux with tails, vest and bowtie. I loved my dress and it suited me, but it was heavy and very formal. I’d go with something more flowy and relaxed now. </p>
<p>Biggest change I would make was getting rid of the cheesy DJ. Uggh, he was awful. People convinced me I had to do the cake cutting, garter, and bouquet tossing rituals. No way would I have any of that now. </p>
<p>I lucked out and had the best photographer who kept us laughing the whole time. Wish I had done some black and white stuff too.</p>
<p>A few more details from 1980.</p>
<p>Wedding was in a small town Catholic church, but I did not want to be “given away”, so after the attendants walked up the aisle, H walked up escorted by both of his parents and then I did same. I still like that.</p>
<p>I wore a long white gown (fairly simple, I don’t look ridiculous), but did not want a veil, so I had the florist make a crown of flowers with long ribbons in the back. It was very pretty and I still have it. The rest of the flowers were fresh flowers, even though silk flowers were very popular then.</p>
<p>My cake was made by a lady in my hometown who did wedding cakes, she lived in my neighborhood growing up and I played with her kids. Cake was beautiful.</p>
<p>There was a big midwest football game on in the bar at the reception (Purdue/Notre Dame?), so a lot of the guys hung out there.</p>
<p>There were about 200 guests which did not seem that large to me. In a small town you either invite family only or everyone you know.</p>
<p>Oh, here’s a unique tidbit: My current husband was the soloist at my first wedding.</p>
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<p>What a silly fad that was…okay, you have your wedding bouquet forever…what do you *do *with it? H still has a pile of silk boutenieres in the drawer…</p>
<p>Oh, my first wedding (1975, in rural Canada)? Well… what I would change is that I would like to have walked out when my ex- and his entire family got rip-roaring drunk the night before, stayed drunk for the wedding, then insisted on serenading us at the hotel after we left the reception. Should have known then he was a drunk. It got worse after that, as unlikely as it sounds.</p>
<p>The part I still remember with great affection was when my father said “her mother and I do” when asked “who gives this woman in holy matrimony?” I didn’t know it was coming, and I was thrilled.</p>
<p>The part I still remember with great affection was when my father said “her mother and I do” when asked “who gives this woman in holy matrimony?” I didn’t know it was coming, and I was thrilled.</p>
<p>I like that too.</p>
<p>In our family ( my immediate siblings & H’s family), it seems that the tendency is to like the new sons in law- but not like daughters in law. Both my mother & my inlaws were that way.</p>
<p>However- I don’t know if D1 will be getting married anytime soon & according to facebook ;), they ( boyfriends family) apparently already like her very much- which makes such a huge difference.</p>
<p>and I have no idea of her taste in weddings- she is very eclectic</p>
<p>My DD has planned her wedding completely. But her dad is a wedding photographer and she has put together many albums so she has had a lot of opportunity to ponder these things. She keeps breaking up with the same BF though.</p>
<p>Loved my wedding. I planned pretty much the whole thing. My father was actually begging me to just have a small, simple wedding and he’d give us $10,000. I wanted the more eleborate one and I don’t regret it. It didn’t actually end up costing too much more - my dad put limits on things and then we paid the rest. Loved it. Got married outside under an absolutley gorgeous chuppah (spelling?). I am Catholic, my husband is Jewish and we had an interfaith wedding with a Rabbi and Deacon. Believe me it wasn’t easy getting everyone together on the same page for this day - but it was wonderful when it all came together. So glad. And I am still crazy about my husband. </p>
<p>For our 20th anniversary we went on a family vacation with our close friends and their children and my husband surprised me (I mean totally surprised me) with a Renewing of the Vows Service on the cruise. Funniest thing, After dinner the husbands and kids went one way and my friend and I went another. About an hour or so later, my friend says to me, “hey let’s go check out the chapel”. I did not think anything of this as she is very spritual and I figured she wanted to go in for some quick prayers - as we have done numerous times in the past. So we’re walking up to the chapel and on the outside there is a podium sign that says “wedding in progress, please do not enter”. So of course I say, oh well, we’ll have to come back. And she’s says no, come on let’s go in and I’m like - I’m not going in there, that’s rude - blah, blah, blah - and this goes on for about two minutes, until she finally blurts out - “it’s for you dummy - now get in there!!” OMG what a shock and just great time. Even thinking about it now, I’m sitting here with the biggest smile. Good stuff!!!</p>
<p>aw Missypie, don’t feel bad about your lack of showers.
The majority of them were given by my mother’s friends. She had lived in our little town all her life and was the church secretary. My Dad was the county Sheriff. So they knew everybody in town.
DH and I went to same h.s. and were h.s. sweethearts. His parents were very social in town.<br>
It was sorta like Mayberry. Everbody knew everybody and weddings (esp. between two hometown kids) were an event.</p>
<p>I got married in September 1989 - I was 27 and H was 36. First marriage for both of us. Traditional Catholic ceremony with a reception in the parish hall (more like a hotel ballroom than a cinder-block church hall with basketball hoops and bingo boards.)
He was in the Army National Guard, as were his attendants, so they all wore dress blue uniforms. My bridesmaids wore simple burgundy gowns that they rented. We also had a saber arch as we were processing out of the church.
My parents paid for everything, giving me a set amount of money. If we went over that, we paid for it and anything we didn’t spend, we could keep. I was able to economize on some things, thanks to talented friends. One made my veil as a wedding gift, another did my bouquets, boutoniers (sp?) and corsages. We also bought the liquor in another state where it was considerably cheaper.
Seriously, I wouldn’t change a thing. I had the wedding I always dreamed of … and we ended up keeping about $500 of the wedding money!</p>
<p>PackMom - We were June 26, 1982. Did we marry the same day?</p>
<p>FallGirl - I had a crown of flowers too, rather than a veil.</p>
<p>Missypie - I must confess I have some lavender silk lillies from my bouquet in one of the table drawers next to my bed. I had them in a vase for a little while 28 years ago, but, really, what I am supposed to do with them now.</p>