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<p>How funny. That’s actually a pretty good idea, as long as either fiance is given the option - after all the “getting to know everyone” events - to back out and say, “No way do I want to be part of this family.”</p>
<p>My H’s uncle’s family had a magician at every event - wedding receptions included. The funniest was for the aunt and uncle’s 50th anniversary party - the invitations said “no children” but they did have a magician as the entertainment.</p>
<p>My mom planned the wedding. She wanted the social event of the year. 500 guests. The church couldn’t accommodate 500 people. I would have preferred to elope.</p>
<p>The dress was custom made by some ladies who couldn’t speak English. The groom and ushers wore black sparkly Bill Blass tuxes. The bridesmaids had shiny tea length fuchsia dresses. Dad got a live band…they were good. An ex-boyfriend was the DJ. 1st honeymoon was in Toronto. 3 months later we went on a cruise.</p>
<p>Mom exiled the in-laws because MIL wanted to invite more than her allotted 100 guests and suggested cake in punch in the church basement. (MIL issues weren’t resolved until I produced a child that looked just like her favorite son who happens to be DH) Neither one of my SIL’s were in wedding because 1 was pregnant and the other was pregnant during the planning. I thought they were both flaky anyway. </p>
<p>Ushers are floating in and out during the ceremony, due to heavy duty partying the night before. One bridesmaid fainted (her father had died the Wednesday before the ceremony). Minister mixed up rings and I giggled. The wedding singer was awful. Oh and the original minister died during the planning, so we ended up with the local Episcopal Diocese Bishop to do the ceremony. Finally, the day of the wedding, my dad was teasing our dog (the demon dog from hell) and the dog bit him on the nose - drew blood…about 1.5 hours before the wedding.</p>
<p>And yet after all of that, it wasn’t too bad. And 23 years later, I still would have preferred to elope - lol</p>
<p>If you want to travel down memory lane, google “wedding dress pattern” and the year you got married. I did that last night and spend about half an hour in GunneSax hell…very entertaining. Some of the sites that sell vintage patterns also have wedding dress patterns from the 50s that are simply fabulous. So perhaps in 30 years, our 80s wedding dresses will look fabulous, too.</p>
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<p>I ate. Fast forward four days from the wedding when MIL comes to visit in the hospital. She brings me fading flowers from the wedding instead of fresh flowers. When she left, I got out of bed and dumped them directly into the trash. I’m guessing a “what irks you about your in laws” thread would get a lot of posts.:)</p>
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<p>Ooh, we could have an in-law duel!</p>
<p>I prefer not to think about mine. But as H gets older some of their traits do surface. Sad for him, too, because he resents them more than I do.</p>
<p>I had six, count 'em, 6 showers. I am not certain I can recall why they were all different- there was my extended family, his extended family and friends, a bridesmaid shower, but what were the other 3?</p>
<p>June 1982, DH nearly 25, me 20…still going strong. Friday night wedding with the sunset through the stained glass was nice. 300 guests and a buffet reception.</p>
<p>What would I do differently? Take couples dancing lessons? Better yet, do a small destination wedding and skip the hoopla and shenanigans. I would also not let my MIL talk me into china she liked, I’ve never liked it, in part because the colour includes peach flowers and I would NEVER in my life pick anything orange or peach and it reminds me that I caved to her just to make nice.</p>
<p>If I could keep the groom, but loose the in-laws, I would do so. DHs parents divorced when he was a baby, somehow we chose to put bio mom in row 2 and bio dad in row 1. I think that made a pretty big statement and no one fought us on it, but right before I walked down the aisle, my mother came in to tell me that when the ushers walked row 2 in before row 1, MIL chose to seat herself in row 1. She made a statement right back in my face. I wonder sometimes if I would have been better off taking a stand right then and right there by not walking down the aisle. She was always a manipulative b****.</p>
<p>I love my DH deeply, but I despise what his family’s emotional blackmail and constant manipulation does to him. He wants to be a good son, but nothing is ever good enough.</p>
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<p>Inlaw issues like this are so common. Do you think any of us will learn from this, or will we repeat the mistakes of the past when we’re the inlaws?</p>
<p>I just looked at my wedding photo last night ----what was I thinking with that necklace? Ugliest fake three tier pearl and gold thing I ever saw.
Lesson here—understated is ALWAYS the best option. A simple single strand of pearls has been around for thousands of years for a reason…it always works.</p>
<p>Everything else was pretty great–for a 1987 wedding–200 people–reception at a local community center with catered food from a great Mexican restaurant (which I knew was unique since we are not Mexican —but it was cheap and good–just don’t spill on the dress!)</p>
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<p>Yep, the salsa stain didn’t come out of mine. (A great excuse for the girls not to even consider wearing it.)</p>
<p>Well, in our family, the kids all have warned us that if we ever act like those grandparents, we are cut 
One of the accomplishments I am most pleased about it that I have raised my kids in such a way that the in-laws think they have a good relationship with the grand kids and are satisfied, but that the grandkids are not at all vulnerable to the emotional damage they can inflict. The kids care in a polite way, but not in a down deep in your heart way and this is much safer.</p>
<p>I’m jumping into this one!
me-25 yrs old, DH-24 yrs old Still married…22 yrs in Sept!</p>
<h1>1 Would have gone with my gut on the photographer and spared myself the horrible photos that the lame-ass, incompetent photog took. Still ticks me off to this day! Thank God for a sister with a SLR!</h1>
<h1>2 Would have thrown out the gf of the best man…she threw a drunken fit at the reception(jealous that she wasn’t a bride yet?) Should have clocked her one!</h1>
<h1>3 Would have found a prettier church, but we had a last minute change up on church sites that was out of our control.</h1>
<h1>4 Would have chosen Hawaii over Mexico for honeymoon as Puerto Vallarta in Sept is WAY too humid…not to mention we missed virtually all Olympic coverage that week :-(</h1>
<p>All the rest, I guess I would keep…the dresses were coral and poufy but that was in style and I liked them at the time.</p>
<p>Married in 1986 at a hotel overlooking the St. Louis Arch (my parents lived in St. Louis at the time). I was 21 and had just graduated college, H was 25 and was entering his last year of medical school. We were so young looking that a year later, when H graduated medical school and we were dressed up on the way to the reception, we stopped to get gas and the gas station attendant asked us what high school prom we were heading to.</p>
<p>I would say in hindsight we should have lived together for a year before getting married. Or I should have lived on my own for a year. People just didn’t seem to live together as much then as they do today – it was a bit more “hush hush.”</p>
<p>We were married over Labor Day and it was just party after party - Fri night was a casual dinner for all out of towners, Sat we had a pool party and a bridesmaid’s luncheon and a rehearsal dinner for all out of towners, Sun we had a brunch and then the wedding and dinner, and then Mon another brunch before everyone left. </p>
<p>The typical mid-eighties Princess Diana-inspired dress. Went to Saks, tried on two dresses. The first was at my father’s expressed budget, the second was twice his budget. I came out of the dressing room wearing the second dress, he cried, it was wrapped up :-). </p>
<p>My family paid for the hotel rooms for my bridesmaids. From what I understand, there were all kinds of novel new arrangements that took place. LOL.</p>
<p>Remove the bumper sticker in the rabbi’s study that read “Clergy Emergency” used for quick parking at hospitals. In our photo proofs, the bumper sticker looked like a pricetag over my veiled head during the ketubah-signing ceremony. I had the photographer airbrush it out.</p>
<p>^^^ oh that is one very few people would have thought of in advance!</p>
<p>Mine will be 29 years ago in just about two weeks…and two days after our son’s wedding. I’m getting a huge kick out of this thread!</p>
<p>Ours was in a church in a small town in the south, and we had the reception in the fellowship hall. Still not sure how many people were there (a lot), because we only sent invitations to out-of-towners and there was an open invitation for anyone in town. I guess I would have changed three things. I would have had a smaller wedding so that we could have visited with all the guests. Although I loved my dress, it had long sleeves—and it was a hot, humid day in the south. What was I thinking? Well, I thought I had ugly upper arms! I didn’t. (I would love to have my 22- year old arms again!) And I would have included my new sister-in-law as a bridesmaid. I didn’t include her because I had never even met her (we had a short engagement).</p>
<p>What I loved (and still do): the groom! The bridesmaids’ dresses—very simple, calf-length, sundress style, sort of a peacock blue. The minister. He had been the minister at my church when I was a child and ended up retiring in my hometown. I didn’t know the current minister at all.</p>
<p>What I wish I could change for my son’s upcoming wedding: the fact that the bride’s divorced parents can’t stand to be in the same room.</p>
<p>PackMom - I guess I’ll always remember your anniversary.</p>
<p>Pfaltzcraft - I received the Folk Art pattern for my wedding. I still have it, use it, and I actually still like it. I have replaced a few plates and bowls over the year, but it has held up well. We use the plates and bowls (and the canisters!), but no longer use a lot of the peripheral pieces (soup crock, coffee cups, salt and pepper…),</p>
<p>July 1982 -
I was 23 and we had no money.<br>
Small wedding (about 80) in my very small hometown. Married in church, recpetion in my parents backyard.
Mom planned it all and made my dress. It was a white eyelet Gunne Sax. I wore a floral wreath in my head. (growing up I always wanted to be a ‘flower child’). I was relieved my mother didn’t make me wear a veil.<br>
Bridemaids dresses from the same pattern - in blue, pink and lavender floral print. I still think they were pretty - my girls gag LOL. This was my ‘rainbow’ wedding party - lol.
Told the ushers to wear a navy blue suit. One showed up wearing white bucks. I forgot to mention black shoes.
My bridesmaids wore hats. Big floppy ones that I bought although we found out the night before the wedding the hat would not fit one of the bridesmaids. I never thought to check head side. She wore it on top of her head.</p>
<p>My mother made the food and hired a couple of high school girls to help out. Found out later my younger brother ran off in the woods with one during the reception. We had kegs (yes, I know…) and my then 14 year old brother helped himself.
We had no dancing, my brothers rigged the stereo speakers in the back yard.
I would have locked our car and kept the keys during the ceremony and reception. My brothers got into my car with a 50 lb bag of rice. We never got rid of it all. They even filled my suitcase.
My wedding was on the cheap. The Priest was a family friend, the soloist and organists were family friends, the altar servers were sons of a family friend. We did hire a photographer.</p>
<p>I didn’t want a ‘wedding’. I don’t like attention and was very uncomfortable walking down aisle. None of my daughters are like me and I am not sure I can endure being MOB 4 times!</p>
<p>Wow memory lane.</p>
<p>Pfaltgraff Yorktowne - that stuff is still being used. You can drop it and it bounces instead of breaking. Love it.
Noritake Platinum Lights - I am so not a fine china user and this stuff is taking up space.<br>
Waterford crystal - sure sound pretty when your husband drops it while doing the dishes. such a melodic tinkling … <cry></cry></p>
<p>My first china was Mikasa octagonal in a fresh, floral pattern, with a green rim. I just looked on eBay but can’t find an example. I think it’s still in the attic. Can’t imagine that I’ll ever be in the mood to use octagonal china again.</p>