<p>Let’s try to turn this thread back to it’s original topic:
“I wish I would have known “this” when I started the process!”
No one can predict the future for our kids or any of us. We need to do what we do best here–share important information with prospective MT parents and their children.</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking since yesterday about what to write or post here. My daughter did not get into one of the “big” programs. She auditioned at many, many schools, and decided on Millikin University for this year. Why am I one of those people who haven’t written much about my D’s audition disappointments? I think there are a few reasons. First off, they are my daughter’s disappointments, not mine. I feel like it’s not really for me to say. Not that I don’t FEEL her disappointments, but I mean that I was not the one auditioning…I wasn’t in that room, standing in front of the people, scared out of my wits. Secondly, I’m afraid if I state my feelings, some may feel it’s sour grapes on my part. Thirdly, maybe I feel intimidated by all the knowledge of the parents/kids on this board, or intimidated by the talent we hear about. I’m not sure, I think it’s a combination of the three. But I’ll go out on a limb here to let you know what we seem to have learned from this whole experience.</p>
<p>My daughter has been interested in singing for many, many years. Earlier on she took dance classes and some musical comedy classes. Her first college plans were to major in voice. It wasn’t until Junior year in H.S., though, that she decided, for certain, that MT is where she wanted to be. She had the lead in our school production and I believe it was a defining moment for her (and me). I know that she is good (like every mother knows, I guess). </p>
<p>Her problem seemed to be auditioning, itself. She’s never had too much experience in that area. She went to Carnegie Mellon pre-college (thankfully) and learned about the process. If she hadn’t gone there, she would have been absolutely clueless. She worked with her vocal teacher for the singing part and with my brother (a writer of off-Broadway shows) for the acting. It seemed, though, that she would really freeze at all these auditions. No matter how much she practiced and willed it to happen, she just didn’t feel that she was able to nail them. We were told that the more you do, the better you get. That just didn’t seem to work for her.</p>
<p>Needless to say, she’s working very hard at Millikin this year. They audition constantly. No matter what show is being put on, main stage, student-directed, these kids must audition. She’s been doing about 3 or so a week! She was disappointed the first time when she didn’t get called back for the main stage production, and to top it off, her roommate got a small part. (Thank God she adores her roommate!) But I have already seen such a big difference in just this first month of schooling. She’s starting to realize that every show is not for her. Every role is not for her, ex. her roommate is completely opposite from her in voice and appearance, maybe that’s why she was picked. She is less nervous with each audition and she’s learning to shrug off disappointment. On top of that, she’s in a student-directed show and was picked for the Physical Graffitti team/group which is a hip-hop dance group. She added Jazz to her required Ballet for this semester, too. She’s hoping that all this extra dance will not only get her in better shape physically, but mentally, as well.</p>
<p>She’s planning on auditioning again this coming year for a few schools. The biggest reason for her wanting to switch is not because Millikin isn’t a “big name school”, but simply because it’s too far. Too far from NY, from Mom and from the boyfriend.</p>
<p>I hope that what the up and coming kids and parents get out of this is that there is not just one way to achieve dreams. Sometimes you have to stop on a few planets along the way before you get to the big shining Broadway star…</p>
<p>Okay. Back to the original topic. Dont depend on how things look on paper when you choose your school! VISIT, but dont do it on an accepted students weekend when everybody is on their best behavior and they put on a bunch of dog and pony shows that have nothing to do with what campus life is really like. Go at the end of the week or a weekend when you can see the real social life and see real classes in session. Everything at my school looks wonderful for me on paper. It is a very reputable department, I have a huge scholarship, the faculty is awesome and I got cast in a major role my first semester, but Im miserable with the still-in-high-school-like life-in-a-fishbowl existance at this place. If you have a gut instinct about a college, follow it! I researched my school to death and something told me it would be too small, but I let the scholarship offer drown out that voice. I have only been here a month, but I already feel like I should have gone somewhere bigger and plan to transfer if things dont change which I doubt they will.</p>
<p>Thank you for all sharing your stories…the positive and the less than positive experiences. I’ve been away and am just catching up on all that I missed ;-). I ought to post at some point how my D’s start to her first year is going (all is good). </p>
<p>Lynn, you brought up a good point with your D that also may pertain to some other kids and that is that she did not have much experience with auditioning itself. I obviously do not know her talents and what not but sometimes you can be quite talented but not audition well and it does take practice in how to actually audition. I am glad she is getting lots of audition experience at Millikin because while I know it is disappointing if not cast, she can use each audition experience to hone those skills and the confidence and perhaps obtain some critiques of that too. </p>
<p>Clueless, I enjoyed reading about your son’s time so far. It does seem like he is very happy and that this was a good place for him to be. </p>
<p>I think it does help to read about both the positive and less than positive outcomes though I doubt many of the latter people tend to post which I do understand. I think ChrisM is a brave to post and share her D’s end of things and what they’ve learned and will do differently this coming year. </p>
<p>I think Theatermom’s post is also very apt because this field is so tough. I don’t think you can analyze a rejection at a top school and say the kid is not talented enough because top schools have so few slots and even they must reject some excellent candidates (for instance, the numerous cases I know of kids who got into X but not Y and then others who got into Y but not X that reveals this phenomena with the “ivies” of the MT college world). However, I agree that one must take stock when there are no acceptances and evaluate what to do next…whether it is to get more training or feedback and try again or do another major but do theater as an extracurricular passion or try to enter the field another way or just what. I don’t think her post was directed at anyone on here’s situation personally because none of us has met the kids posted about on here (except a few I guess) and so I think it was a thought about the field, not about any specific kids. It is a sensitive subject and I fully appreciate that. These after all, are our kids who we all believe in. I know her post had to do with support as well of kids who did not get in and what to do next. Some may reevaluate, some may pursue it a different way. My D has a friend who wanted to go to Tisch but did not get in but her parents let her get an apt. in NYC (she is from Idaho) and she is going to Stella Adler studio (not as a Tisch student). So, only you know your own kids. Getting outside feedback helps. It is very hard to make it in this field. Even those going to top programs may not make it. There are also those on Bdway who never went to college or a MT program. And then there are some who also try out of BFA programs who have not yet acquired the skills to be considered. There are many variations. There are also many levels of pursuing this interest. Broadway or a BFA program need not be the goal. As another poster wrote, you can pursue a love of theater while having another career (ie., do community theater) or go to college and be actively involved in the theater clubs on campus. There is an element of pursuing your dreams/passions but also there is the factor of outside evaluation of your talent by trusted professionals that also may help. College admissions involves an element of evaluation. Then there is the theater world itself. It is gonna be full of evaluation and rejection and that’s the way that is. </p>
<p>I’ve enjoyed each story here and I hope this year’s college students and/or their parents can share about how it is going for them. Maybe I can do that soon about my kid’s first few weeks. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>Freelance,
Maybe I see it differently than most, but the recent discussion fits perfectly under the heading “what I wish I had known”. = I wish I had heard from students or their parents whose path did not fit the standard “I auditioned at 8 schools and got into 6 of them”. I really appreciate hearing from those whose stories fit that category. I think it provides a more realistic view of the process parents and students will be facing this year.</p>
<p>Chrism,</p>
<p>Yes, that discussion is useful. What I was referring to is the critical tone that this thread was starting to take. This MT process can be harsh, agonizing and nerve-wracking. Let’s all try to be as informative and supportive as we can be. We are all here for each other; all our stories need to be heard.</p>
<p>Absolutely.</p>
<p>I’ve been gone for awhile and I’m trying to catch up on these boards. What I would like to add is that I think that something Lynnm said popped out, “Her problem seemed to be auditioning itself”. </p>
<p>I think the most valuable information that my D received when she was young was to audition for as many shows as she possibly could. Even if it was a waste of time. The more she auditioned, the more comfortable she got. I believe that this one little piece of information helped her more than all the singing lessons did. Audition for everything you possibly can within reason. I understand that many of you don’t have that many opportunities to audition - then perform or audition for choirs, etc. I think we would have had different results had it not been for her actually enjoying auditioning and going in with confidence (not to say that there were not early rejections). She did not always feel this way. It was quite nerve-wracking for her when she was younger. Not only did she get “practice” at auditioning (as you would practice a piano piece or a vocal piece) but she also built up her toleration for rejection and was able to not take each rejection personally, but that she just wasn’t right for the part.</p>
<p>Part 2 coming - Jet Blue plane is landing at lax with the front landing gear sideways. </p>
<p>Phew.</p>
<p>Okay, where was I. Oh yeah. Then again, while I can’t speak for theatermom, I know that her daughter only recently found her “singing chops” after being quite a succesful dancer (I had the privilege of seeing an incredibly beautiful pic of her on point). <p.s. theatermom=“” -=“” how=“” close=“” is=“” phili=“” to=“” boston.=“”> Maybe it was that her D was very comfortable performing in front of people. </p.s.></p>
<p>Back to the original post…“I wish I had known ‘this’ when I started the process.” Audition, audition, audition…</p>
<p>I’m one of the posters who has found it very hard to continue posting, once my daughter’s rejection letters started rolling in. She was rejected at all the MT programs, got accepted at a few non-audition programs which she didn’t want. As we were trying to deal with this pain, she went to a new voice teacher, an opera singer who believes that her 4 years of college were wasted!, who told her that she should go directly to NYC to audition for shows as the window for MT women was so small- 18 to about 24 years. As you can imagine, my d “glommed” on to this affirmation of her talents, and we were ready to strangle this voice teacher! We were unable to convince our d that this teacher was speaking from her own experience and may not have been objective.
Long story short, our d is now in NY, living with a cousin on the upper West Side, taking acting classes at Stella Adler, daily dance classes at Steps on Broadway, studying voice with a wonderful man, starting to work with a monologue coach, and has decided to apply for Early Decision to Tisch- last year she auditioned at Steinhardt because her voice is her strength. It has been 9 days since we left her- it feels like a month- hard to think of an 18year old navigating around the city- but she’s doing great so far!
She did finally acknowledge that she didn’t do as well during her auditions as she could have- didn’t work hard enough as she was very focused on the elite choir she was in and the director wouldn’t allow kids to miss time for college auditions which made her scheduling and choices difficult. She felt that she somehow couldn’t bring the same performance intensity to the audition as she does when she’s on stage- too bad this realization didn’t come earlier in the audition process so she could have tried to address the problem more directly- but better late than never! She is also more open to applying to some “safties” now. If she doesn’t get into Tisch, she will apply at Syracuse, Ithaca, CCM (again), either Emerson or OCU, and then SUNY Fredonia and Buffalo- does anyone know about the SUNY programs in MT- both offer BFA in MT??
It has been hard to continue posting here when all I was reading about was everyone’s successes- don’t know what to do about that, though, as we’re so happy sharing good news and love reading about successes. I do agree that these rejections are not necessarily indicators of talent, this field is filled with rejections, and that so far, my d is responding in a very healthy way by re-evaluating her strengths and weaknesses and charging full-steam ahead (at least for the past 9 days!)</p>
<p>Denvermom…
I can’t help you with your questions about the SUNY schools…but I do want to thank you for posting. Your daughter’s persistence is admirable and I hope her time preparing in NYCity will help her land the MT spot that is just right for her. I don’t think I’m alone in believing your posting helps ALL of us learn more about the process and the PEOPLE behind the acceptances and rejections. Hope to hear more from you in the future!</p>
<p>My thanks as well, Denvermom. Musicalthtrmom echoes my sentiments exactly. I’m sure these were difficult decisions (I loved your comment about wanting to strangle the voice teacher) but when the passion is there and they are willing to go down the less well trodden path, you know there is no stopping them. It speaks to your D’s potential and brava to you for giving her the chance to realize her dream. Whatever happens, she’ll have no cause to regret the “what-ifs.”</p>
<p>Hey Catsmom! welcome home and check your email. With regard to my D’s being comfortable performing in front of people because of her many years of dance, I’m not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg. In the early years, I think she stayed in dance class BECAUSE it gave her the chance to be in front of people. She always loved that part of it. Later on, she loved both the dance itself AND the opportunities it gave her to be “in the light.” </p>
<p>But in truth, just being on stage is NOT the same as auditioning and it took a disastrous audition experience or two to make her understand that she needed to devote time to both learning the skill/craft of auditioning as well as learning how to choose and work on the material she would use to audition. As has been said here and elsewhere, auditioning IS the work of a performer. Getting a role is the paycheck.</p>
<p>I am so glad more people are posting their experiences from every angle and perspective as it is important to learn of all the ways this can be handled. </p>
<p>Denvermom!! It is so great to hear from you!!! While I am sorry to hear the final outcome for your D last spring was not as hoped, I’m glad it has brought you here once again. I definitely feel for you as a mom going through this with your lovely daughter who I had the pleasure to meet at the UMich auditions. I’m sure this was stressful but it really seems that you guys have put something into place that is positive and with plans for next steps. Yes, you were a brave mom to let her go to NYC to do this plan this year but it does seem like a great plan (I hope ChrisM is reading this and connects with you as they are in the same process basically and she has contemplated letting her D do that next year at 19). I know how you feel about your D on her own in NYC at 18, trust me. While my D did land at Tisch, and she does live in a dorm, she is still on her own in the city and she is still 16! 
If your daughter wants to visit or talk to someone in the program, let me know. I also will try to email you the name of a friend of hers. In fact, I recall that your D went to SDM for one session several years ago (though our kids do not know each other) and in fact, this girl I’m gonna tell you about also went to SDM for a few summers, several years back and even roomed with my D. She is from Idaho, though went to a boarding school in CA. She did not get into Tisch (was trying for acting, not MT) and her parents let her get her own apt. in the city and she is ALSO going to Stella Adler Studio, so I wonder if your D has hooked up with her yet. They are the same age and I don’t know how many 18 year olds are in the program or just what. I’ll try to email you and send along her name. I’m VERY backlogged on email as I have been out of town for several days. </p>
<p>Catsmom, SO good to also hear from you! I am glad you echoed my sentiments about the importance of actually honing audition skills themselves by auditioning a lot. I also think it was beneficial for my own kid to have done so many auditions in her life that the idea of getting up in front of others and being judged is something she is comfortable with (as much as one can be). I also agree with the idea of experience gained in actual performing, even if as a dancer/ballerina. I know that the dance faculty at our dance studio used to say that they could tell my D was a performer when she dances and that is cause she has done a bunch of theater so it is beyond dance technique but also being comfortable as a performer on stage. I also had a twinge when you mentioned the pic of Theatermom’s D on pointe (not that I’ve seen the photo) because I have photos of my D on pointe and I am realizing that she may not dance on pointe again or for a long while because they do not do pointe in ballet classes in MT programs, so who knows when she will be on pointe again. I kinda felt sad when this past spring she was out of all her dances, particularly not seeing her in her last ballet, due to her accident. Not sure she’ll be in tutus and satin shoes in her MT program, lol. </p>
<p>Catsmom, Boston is about five hours from Philly. I’m from Philly and went to college and grad school in Boston. I hope your D is having a great time at BOCO and loving Boston itself. Great place to go to college!</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>Heartfelt thanks to all those posting from the Less Trodden Path. Not only is it personally heartening to those of us watching our kids on that path to find kindred spirits going through the same thing, I think it fulfills the mission of this board to broaden the conversation. </p>
<p>Please keep us posted on your successes and challenges along the way. Maybe we should have our own thread!</p>
<p>ChrisM</p>
<p>I’m glad you guys are posting because there are many “paths”, not just one, in this field and so it is good to bring out the various alternatives pursued. I also think it is great for some of you to hook up with one another to share how you have gone about these situations and plans. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>I’m also a poster who hasn’t been around for a while (life got in the way in a couple of big ways) but I’d like to add and affirm a couple of points. Some of this is probably repetitive, so forgive me, please.</p>
<p>My D also received rejections, but was accepted into the BA program at American. Before dismissing this because it is not a BFA program, I will point out that many students treat it like a BFA program–they take the 40 credits of required Gen. Ed. and then do everything else in theatre, dance and music. However, if you are a kid (or parent of one) who would like a double major or just wants a little more lib. arts or more dance or whatever, it provides flexibility. I think there are a couple of other schools out there that require auditions for BA programs that, like American’s, are performance based programs.</p>
<p>What I would have done differently:</p>
<p>Hired a coach–maybe. My D, like lynnm’s, had she not done the CMU summer program, would have been completely clueless. As is, in retrospect, she (and her teachers) made some poor choices in audition material. Perhaps a coach would have helped. The important thing:</p>
<p>Make sure that all audition material–including monologues–show off the strengths of your voice. No matter how much you love a song, if you can’t hit those notes perfectly, it is not the right audition song.</p>
<p>Practice, practice, practice. Especially for those kids who haven’t been doing this since age 5 or 10, do whatever you can to get used to auditioning.</p>
<p>Look for some non-“ivies.” There are a lot of good programs out there that don’t get talked about on this discussion. Find one or two and apply to them–they might end up being your only options–and the fact that no one here knows about them doesn’t mean they are bad programs.</p>
<p>Re the whole rejection thing. I don’t buy the fatalistic attitude that everyone ends up where they are meant to be. I have no doubt, for example, that if my D had gotten in to one of her top choices, she’d be happy and doing quite well. I do believe, however, that you deal with what life gives you. So hats off to the kids who didn’t get in to the schools they wanted or in anywhere and are still pursuing their studies; and hats off to those who didn’t and are doing other things and finding out that maybe they don’t have to do theatre.</p>
<p>p.s. for anyone interested in American or BA programs, I think there was a discussion a while back here. If you can’t find it and I can help, just ask.</p>
<p>NewMTMom…SO glad you came back to follow up and share about your daughter. Welcome back! It is best that readers learn about the many paths that kids are taking as there is no one right single path. A BFA program is one path and the one talked about most on here. Some will do a BA program and make it in this field. Some might forego college and do a certificate program or take training at studios. Some might do theater on the side while pursuing something else in college. I’m glad something has worked out for your daughter. You do have to deal with what life gives you and she has. I don’t know where she was “'meant to be” but am glad she has found a place that will work for her to become what she wants to be. Who knows where it will lead but I hope to something fulfilling. </p>
<p>I do feel for you as a mom because it is very tough when things don’t go the way your child has hoped and a parent cannot control that. Perhaps your daughter needed more preparation and training which is understandable having come into the field of interest later on and having had limited experience. The odds of admission to the programs are so long to begin with even if well trained and prepared. I think she is going to get lots of training now and that’s what matters if she wants to continue her pursuit of this field. It may be just the right step for her in the end.</p>
<p>I’ll write you soon.
Susan</p>
<p>Newmtmom,
thanks so much for coming back and sharing your and your d’s experiences. Every story adds to the full picture of what students can do. </p>
<p>Chrism</p>
<p>Soozievt–it’s so nice to hear from you and I just want to stress to those parents and kids starting out–this isn’t only about my D. In retrospect, I know she didn’t have as much training and experience as many kids. And for some, that doesn’t matter; there are always those amazing ones who are fantastic from the first. The point is, she found someplace where she will be able to study theatre and dance and voice. And that’s the thing that those of us who are parents need to be able to remind the kids–that there are many more places to study than the top 20 schools that are mostly mentioned.</p>
<p>And by the way, Washington, DC is a great theatre town these days. Besides American U., Catholic has an MT major, and I don’t know about Maryland or Howard, but they do have theatre programs.</p>
<p>I just want to say good luck to all you seniors (and parents of)</p>
<p>Bump—
Since it is that time of year when the auditions gear up…</p>
<p>Denversmom listed an interesting group of schools she considers “safeties” - I know Syracuse’s MT program was their MOST competitive this year -more competitive than Newhouse, Maxwell, etc. I learned through going through this process with my son last year that no BFA program should be considered a “safety” and that it is impossible to gauge what one school or another is looking for. My S is now at Syracuse, which he considered to be his “worst” audition; he was not accepted at a couple of schools where he thought he did very well . . . I would say visit the schools and audition wherever you feel you might “fit” - I would also not look at the sticker price, since you may get more scholarship/grant money from the more expensive schools. Don’t let what you hear or read anywhere stop you from auditioning at every school that appeals - you never know.</p>