Relationship advice?

<p>To keep things short.</p>

<p>You are a girl who woke up this morning and realized that you suddenly have pretty strong feelings for your male best friend. The two of you have both gotten over pretty disastrous crushes but that is all water under the bridge. How do you get him to see you in a different light (romantically, obviously.)?</p>

<p>Lol @ the idea of me having a friend, let alone a best friend, let alone a male one. </p>



<p>Eh, he probably already does. From what I’ve observed, girls usually think their relationships with their guy friends are more platonic than they actually are.</p>

<p>The thing is, however, that both he and I liked other people for quite sometime. We acted as one another’s wingman/wingwoman and just both of our situations ended poorly (to the point that neither of us talk to our former love interests.) We were always really open about the people we liked and I know that when I was interested in other people, I never saw him as more than a friend and I think the same goes for him…</p>

<p>Its just if he isn’t actually over his crush like he says he is, I doubt he’ll ever have any interest in me. Mur.</p>

<p>Guys are usually hoping their “platonic” girlfriends will see them differently someday soon.</p>

<p>@Repede: It’s girl talk (:</p>

<p>@preamble1776, show him a little bit more “flirty” attention. Touch his arm lightly when you talk to him, scoot closer to him when you guys are next to each other, laugh at his jokes more often, try to hang out with him more one-on-one. Although in my experience, apparently guys don’t get hints at all. You might have to straight out tell him before he gets the hint.</p>

<p>^ I agree, guys won’t take a hint. Beat him over the head.</p>

<p>Every male heterosexual high school student with strong female friends has a hidden agenda.</p>

<p>He’s told me that both he himself and guys in general aren’t really perceptive, but apparently he was acutely aware of how much I liked the guy last year just by my actions and mannerisms and whatnot… Who knows. Today was really good in terms of contact/conversation/being together alone and whatever. I’m hoping that at this pace it might be easier for me to talk to him about it soon…</p>

<p>I just don’t want to destroy our friendship.</p>

<p>@tomatox1 - He has two close female friends, myself and another girl whom I don’t know too well. I asked him a while back if he had feelings for her and he said he never did but from what I can tell, I’m a lot closer to him now than she is. I don’t know if that makes a difference. Every single one of his other friends is a guy.</p>

<p>He’s going to have feelings for you…whenever a guy is best friends with a girl they have some type of extra feelings for them. Ok not every time I guess…but like 99.9999999% of the time. So id act a bit more flirty, then if he doesn’t get that then I would just tell him! I can almost promise he feels something towards you.</p>

<p>I’m a guy. Some of my closest friends are girls. The two I talk to the most are girls and I dated one of em. Twice. ): hurts though cuz I still somewhat have feelings for her but she considers me a best friend. </p>

<p>I think my point is that you’ll find someone who will want to be your best friend but also your boyfriend. Actually, he’ll find you! (:</p>

<p>OK, I’m 50-something, but this stuff doesn’t change. You just think it does.</p>

<p>Warning: This assumes you’re going after a real guy and not a pretty boy who has “outfits” and a “do”. I have no advice if you’re after a pretty boy. They have always been a mystery and I have never interfaced with them. Um… er… let’s say we’ve never interfaced well. ;-)</p>

<p>Real guys don’t think like girls. At the most basic root of it all… show up naked and bring food… you’re our girlfriend. Stay naked and keep bringing food and you’re our wife. </p>

<p>I don’t actually suggest you use that approach at the beginning, but the message is buried in there. Provide what he needs and he is yours. That’s how we work. What do we need? Not much. It’s more like what we don’t need. It’s really simple. DO NOT over think this. </p>

<p>We DO NOT need to be thought of as the stupid, so get rid of all your “guys are dumb” wit and humor. We don’t think it’s funny. We secretly think it’s the other way around, but just can’t figure out how to prove it as well as you girls do so we just smile and take it. ;-)</p>

<p>We don’t want high maintenance, so please, take care of as much as you can yourself and don’t ask us how our relationship is going. If you’re regularly showing up naked and bringing food, we’re doing just fine. But don’t be afraid to ask us for help. We’re happy to help. We’re eager to help. We just don’t want it to be surrounded in drama or have it become a steady interruption. </p>

<p>Reality TV?.. uh… no. Let’s watch something with an actual story line. </p>

<p>Chick flicks?.. again… no. Let’s watch a comedy or, better yet, an action movie.</p>

<p>Can you please just sit there and enjoy our time together? Do you HAVE to keep talking!?!? Bring a book or something if you get bored. But puh-leeze, my brain can’t take it. Sometimes I just want to enjoy this beer and look at your face and body. Really.</p>

<p>Which brings me to… You should look good. When we are in public look your best. Demand the same from me. I’ll complain, but I’ll feel better about myself for it and will be secretly very thankful. You’ll give me an excuse to tell others why I made an attempt to look good. “She made me.” Help me look good, both visually (help me dress and groom) and literally (build me up and support me verbally in front of other people). You should expect the same from me… not the being able to look good on my own or dressing part, but the building and supporting you in front of other people part. </p>

<p>Don’t be jealous. Be confident. We are attracted to confidence as much as you are. One of the first times I knew my wife was different from the rest was early on… just after becoming exclusive with each other… in a club when a girl I knew was flirting with me. My future-wife was coming back from the bathroom and saw her kiss me. I had not asked for the kiss, nor was expecting it. I was horrified to think what my future-wife saw or thought, but she immediately assumed the truth and said, “I know why she wants you. It’s the same reason I want you. But you’re all mine.” Then she planted one and didn’t let go for about a minute. When she did, she picked up her drink and added casually, “And you’ll never find another like me, because I’m slumming with you.” I can’t describe the way she said that last line, but I knew she meant every word of it… that she knew if I left her I’d be making a HUGE mistake, so she was simply unafraid of that happening. I thought “This is different.” I went from a horrified “Oh crap!” to “I think I’m in love! I think I’ve found her!” in that moment.</p>

<p>I could write a book, but I won’t. That’s enough for now. Good luck to you.</p>

<p>“At the most basic root of it all… show up naked and bring food… you’re our girlfriend. Stay naked and keep bringing food and you’re our wife.”</p>

<p>This is what we mean by “guys are shallow”.</p>

<p>I’m a guy and I wouldn’t mind watching reality TV or chick flicks. Honestly, I find them enjoyable when watching with someone who you’re just so comfortable with. </p>

<p>I hate that mentality of labeling all guys like that or labeling all girls like something else. There are some real, sincere, and just awesome people out there.</p>

<p>But seriously, show up naked and bring food.</p>