<p>So, I’m 21 and my bf is 40. If you were a friend/relative and you found out we were in a relationship, what would you think? I’m not asking for approval or anything, just curious what people might REALLY think of us but are too chicken to say.</p>
<p>I know that most people will be judgmental and strongly against it, but I personally think that you needed a mature man in your life. College boys are not ideal partners, so it’s understandable.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t mind myself, granted the guy is stable and does not act tasteless.</p>
<p>Some people will think you’re a gold digger, especially if he has stacks of money to throw around. They will think that as soon as he gets sick or too old, you’ll ditch him. They will also assume that you’re probably his mistress.</p>
<p>my first thought was: woah! HUGE age difference. i’m a little skeptical, but then again your love is not for me to judge.</p>
<p>My first thought would be: what does a 40 year old want with a 21 year old? 9 times out of 10, it’s not for the 21 year old’s mind. But hey, you could be that 1 out of 10 :).</p>
<p>Well, 19 years is a big difference.</p>
<p>It’s kind of like if a Bulbasaur was dating a Venusaur… not a very pleasant thought.</p>
<p>my gf left me for someone twice her age. They are happily dating now (maybe ever after?), so take it from me, go for it!</p>
<p>Please, please, please dont let other people tell you who to love and who not to love. Please please please. Just love whomever you love.</p>
<p>40 and 21 doesn’t seem as bad as 20 and 10 or 30 and 15</p>
<p>but that’s really not saying much</p>
<p>It’s no fair growing old together when he takes such a huge head start.</p>
<p>from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know you it’s fine, but if i knew you/was your parent or something, i’d make you end it. i could easily see how family members would be very much against it, but how anonymous commenters who have don’t worry for you would be fine with it. maybe ask a friend’s parent?</p>
<p>I would think you’re ■■■■■■■■. But if you’re not, then I’d say you’re lucky to have found someone who probably pampers you and pays for everything :). I don’t think it will be a permanent relationship by any means. Enjoy it while it lasts!</p>
<p>The only real problem with this is that you guys are at different stages in life. He’s done many things you haven’t and is probably ready to settle down, get married, etc. Unless you’re also game for that, it could lead to some conflict.</p>
<p>I’m in your same boat, I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 43. Most people just think that he’s my father/relative in public, but people who actually know think that it’ll never work out because they assume that the younger one isn’t emotionally ready for a serious relationship that the older guy is looking for. It’s a lot harder to create a successful relationship with someone with a larger age gap primarily due to societal criticism. Of course, it’s entirely possible.</p>
<p>He’s not twice your age if you’re 21. If you were 20, then it would be sick and disgusting but since you’re 21 it’s perfectly respectable. Maybe not common but it’s not creepy either.</p>
<p>unlike all the noble ones up there, i think its really weird to date someone 2x ur age. MOST of the time, u guys wont end up going anywhere. it’s just weird…</p>
<p>I would be very skeptical. I know I’m not supposed to judge. But you asked … and my initial response (really, my final response, barring any evidence to the contrary) is that the guy is a loser. (why is he dating someone half his age? as if we don’t know. and that’s not a compliment. and why is he taking advantage of that girl?) Regarding the girl, I would feel sorry for her. Because she’s wasting her time with a loser guy while she thinks she has a winner – because she’s too young to know better. And if I were the parents of the girl, I would be strongly disgusted with the guy and very sad for my girl.</p>
<p>I hope I don’t get too much flak for my response … it’s the way I think, and it’s likely not going to change – because I think my gut reaction is based on valid and sound reasoning, with VERY few exceptions.</p>
<p>The guy SHOULD be interested in someone more his own age … unless he’s a loser who can’t attract or keep someone more his own age because he has to have the “adoration” thing going for him. Or he has to have someone younger than him in order to feel like a “strong” man. Yuk. Not going to spend any more time trying to put it into words, though I know I could do better if I took the time. In a word, yuk.</p>
<p>I don’t see anything wrong with it. My dad and his girlfriend have been together for a year, and they seem to really love each other. My dad is 43 and his girlfriend is 24. As long as you love each other, it doesn’t matter what other people think.</p>
<p>As long as you are over the age of 18 I really would not care. My husband is 15 years older then me (I am 29 and he is 44). We met when I was 18 and got married when I was 21. I had always dated males that were older than me so it came as no big surprise to my family. My dad did have a small issue with it at first but that was till my step mom reminded him that he had no room to complain because he was 16 or so years older than her.</p>
<p>When we first got together there were many people that were afraid that I would break his heart and not the other way around. The one thing that made our relationship work was that we both were on the same path (i.e. settled down and have a family) so that was never an issue for us. We have had issues in the past about people talking about our age difference and many people did not think we would last much less ever get married but here we are. Have we had bumps in the road over the years? Sure who hasn’t. But we worked through those issues that came up.</p>
<p>My husband in my rock and he is always there to support me no matter what.</p>
<p>I consider myself very open-minded on most issues including homosexuality, abortion, ect. But something like that really creeps me out. The guy can’t find someone his own age or has to feel like a “man” by having someone very young who in most cases…akkk how do I say this. By the time I’m 40 I will have had loads of different experiences and my goals, dreams, expectations, and views of life will have changed considerably. If how much I’ve changed what I wanted to be or what I wanted out of life in the past 2 years is any indication (Im 18) then by the time I’m 40 I’m gonna predict that will happen many times over. To me it just seems like the guy in his 40s is depriving the girl of her life by in a way forcing her to converge on the same plane of life that he is at right now. You’ll probably disagree and find fault with some part of my thought process “oh but hes not like that,” but those are my views.</p>
<p>Ehh… ~20 years is too large a difference, IMO. But its really up to the two people, if you guys get along well then it doesn’t matter what other people think. Although its kinda weird that your lover is old enough to be your dad…</p>
<p>OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!<br>
I know that my parents would not approve. I also do not think that it is a good decision by you to date him.</p>