<p>Not every case of an older person pursuing a younger one is creepy, but you’re right that in most cases, it is. I’ve been pursued by older men before but I ignored them because I just wasn’t interested and was already “seeing” someone at the time. I feel very differently about this guy.</p>
<p>If accepted into more schools, be able to decide by May 1st the school I will attend for college.
Oh wow, I posted in the wrong thread… I meant to post in New Years Resolution.</p>
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<p>To answer op question:
I’m not sure what other people would think but I would just see it as any other couple relationship.</p>
<p>honestly the first thing that came to mind was “ew”. haha but whatever floats your boat i guess</p>
<p>I am so confused… Is this a guy/guy relationship? This totally reminds me of Dorian Gray. The guy might be cool but he also might be one messed up dude. But if its an older guy/younger girl relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is that guy must have a lot of game!</p>
<p>It might be alright - I can hardly judge since I’m only 21 myself.</p>
<p>I don’t know - I someone feel that 30 or 31 is alright, but a 20 year old dating a 40 year old?</p>
<p>It seems fine on your part - obviously an older man has more resources and appealing qualities than a younger man often times.</p>
<p>But looking from the older man’s perspective - it seems that an older guy would only go after a younger partner simply for sex and a young body. It’s all physical and superficial (seemingly), that’s why I feel uneasy about it, but I don’t know - it might just be social norms talking. I mean, I think if I were 40 (or even 30) - I’d be too bored at the common mental states of 20 or 21 year olds - like I’ve been there and moved beyond their common frustrations and experiences as a current college student.</p>
<p>Are you serious?</p>
<p>People do many different things for many different reasons. There was a professor here (died about 2 or 3 years ago) who was 65 when he married a woman (graduate student) who was about 30. They were both from Hungary, she had a medical degree there that did not allow her to practice medicine here… Anyway, they had two kids, and he died recently… The children now are 4 and 6 and have no dad… </p>
<p>But, by marrying him, she got her green card, got a PhD in chemistry, and has a good stable job in industry. With her credentials from the old country, she was not exactly stupid, but just used her ‘skills’ to ‘move on’ in life, and that involved legal moving to the United States. Plus, he left her a nice apartment in Montreal. She was the third graduate student he had married…</p>
<p>And so it goes…</p>
<p>John Nash, a professor at Princeton, married a student. So the story goes that John Nash is a secret agent and his friend is injected with invisible potion.</p>
<p>Oh, but they aren’t homosexual though so I don’t know. =/</p>
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<p>Is it just me, or does this sound like the victim of domestic abuse trying to validate the relationship as to why he can’t leave?</p>
<p>Either way…you can’t control who you love, but I agree with others who say that it most likely doesn’t mean the same to him as it does to you. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that he’s going to stick around forever for you.</p>
<p>Augustine Burroughs FTW?</p>
<p>Hmmm, there was a VERY similar thread in the parents’ forum like a year ago or so. </p>
<p>Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with that, and why would you worry about how society perceives you anyway if this relationship sounds like an experiment for both parties?</p>
<p>^^^ I had to look twice… I thought your name was “lostanddelicious!” LOL.</p>
<p>“Relationship with someone twice my age.”</p>
<p>that’s hot.</p>
<p>I see a lot of unfounded prejudice against this type of older guy. Why? Why should he be expected to date someone his own age? I can’t think of any specific reason that the relationship might be creepy. Can someone please elaborate?</p>
<p>Honestly, I can’t comprehend how this guy could be a loser… At age 40, short of still living with your parents, not having a decent job, being abusive, and being a criminal, what else qualifies someone as a loser? If he’s treating bulbasaur10 right, on what other grounds does anyone have to judge him?</p>
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<p>It’s creepy because in any relationship that involves two people with extremely different levels of maturity, there is bound to be some manipulation involved. I know, I know, the OP is over eighteen and in college. Sorry, but eighteen is no magical number, under which a person is immature, and over which a person is suddenly mature. That is just a binary constructed for legal expediency. Look a little beyond the letter of the law.</p>
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<p>lol</p>
<p>Honestly, to each their own…</p>
<p>My uncle is gay and dating a man who is about 14 years younger than him. They get a long perfectly and are happy.</p>
<p>To be honest, I feel homosexual relationship that have larger gaps in ages tend to be more successful than heterosexual, but that is just my opinion.</p>
<p>Just tell us this isn’t one of your professors! Now that would be creepy!!</p>
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Honestly, I see much more potential for the 20-year-old to manipulate the 40-year-old. I guess I’m biased, since I’m 20, but it seems ridiculous to assume there is manipulation involved.</p>
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Thanks for the informative answer. I assume you couldn’t come up with anything specific?</p>
<p>Oh he’s not a professor. He’s a businessman.</p>
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<p>Wow, I thought I already went overboard in my explanation, but you are just extraordinarily dense. Do I really need to lay this out for you?</p>
<p>Barring some extreme circumstance, a 40 year old is going to be vastly more mature and experienced than a 20 year old. In any type of relationship with a great deal of commitment, discrepancies in maturity lead to manipulation, whether intentional or not. You say it’s ridiculous to assume manipulation is involved; I say it’s ridiculous to assume manipulation is not involved.</p>
<p>On the off chance that the 40 year old actually is at the same maturity level as the 20 year old, and therefore is not somehow manipulating the OP, this scenario is still creepy, albeit indirectly. This is because a 40 year old must suffer from some extreme developmental or social abnormality to possess such a stunted maturity level. Society has a number of labels for these people, all of which are undesirable. Even bachelorhood itself at the age of 40 years old can draw judgment. So even if the relationship is between two equals, the 40 year old is still a creep.</p>
<p>The only way for this scenario to avoid creepiness, I think, would be if the 20 year old were very mature for his/her age. But that’s rare, you see, and given little information about that, I think it’s safe to generalize for the reasons above.</p>
<p>Oh and read this sentence out loud, while giving an indignant harrumph at the end, and see if you don’t LOL yourself.</p>
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