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<p>What about relocating to another country?
We sold our house of 15 years. D1 is coming to visit our new home tonight for the first time. When she spoke with me, she said, “Are you just having the driver pick me up or will someone be HOME when I get there?” As far as she is concerned wherever we are is home to her. It’s not the physical location of our home, but where we are is home to her. Most of her high school friends are scattered all over now, so it’s not a big deal to her.</p>
<p>More info??</p>
<p>We could have been in that situation, but decided to hold back for a year at least and see how it goes. </p>
<p>We are in expat situation and so moving with the kid is very normal here. Last year heard of at least 20-30 families going back to the U.S from our school. Some go back to their own cities, some go back to where the job takes them if they can get company transfers and some go back to new locations to be near driving or short flying distance to the kids.</p>
<p>not yet. Do so when your grandbaby is 3 weeks old. :)</p>
<p>I recommend against relocating with your child. I don’t yet have experience with going away to college, but my parents have been talking about potentially moving after I leave next year, since one of my brothers will be leaving this year. In my mind, this is a terrible idea. If your child wants to go across the country, let them. Moving across the country to be close to them again is going to hinder the detachment process. You aren’t going to follow them around for their whole lives are you?
On the student’s side, I think parents moving is bad because a student will want to come home for thanksgiving or Christmas break. At least as a freshman, a student is just getting used to living in a new place, and during his/her breaks from that new place and from that independence, (s)he will want to come home to a place where they can feel comfortable. A place where they can actually take a break from college and independence. They want to go back to they way it was before. If they have to come home to a place that they have never seen or lived in before, it does no good. Students want to go back home. They don’t want to go somewhere that isn’t really and never will be home to them.</p>
<p>Sometimes you don’t really have a choice. The kids just have to accept it. We’ve moved at awkward times in various kids’ lives and, while some objected at first, there were benefits to them every time.</p>
<p>I agree^^. You have to do what suits your family the best. Some kids want to be near their parents and some don’t.</p>
<p>In our case we have always lived in foreign countries, away from grandparents, uncles and aunts. But our kids want to be near us at least for now.</p>
<p>What’s the question? My parents moved when I left for college (my Dad actually left to start a new job 6 months before I graduated from high school). We moved in the middle of S1’s college years. It happens. For many people, moving where the job or career takes you is not a choice.</p>
<p>Is this thread about changing houses while your kids are in college or moving to a location near where there kids will be in college?</p>
<p>We relocated while our daughter was about to start senior year in college and son was about to start freshman year (but was already living in his college city). The kids were surprised, but they had both gone to boarding school for several years so they weren’t being yanked away from too many friends. Our son misses a lot of things about Dallas, but they like our new city and home, too. In fact, daughter and her (now) husband came here after we did since they visited and liked it so much.</p>
<p>My mother and stepfather moved while I was away at graduate school for reasons that made good sense to them and had nothing to do with me. I did not care that my family moved – indeed, it was none of my business. What I did care about is that they threw away things that belonged to me and that I would have preferred to keep. </p>
<p>If you must move while your student is away at school, please do not make your own decisions about what to do with the student’s possessions. If you are moving into a smaller place and cannot take all of the student’s stuff, put it into storage somewhere until the student can have access to it. You cannot know what the student values and what he or she does not – only the student knows that. </p>
<p>The same thing applies to grown children who have left some of their stuff at your house even though they are out of college (which, technically, I was, since I was a graduate student, not an undergraduate, when my mother moved). Grown children often leave stuff at their parents’ homes because there’s space there and the parents don’t particularly notice – until the time comes to move. At that point, decisions have to be made, and the person who owns the stuff needs to be involved in those decisions.</p>
<p>My mother and stepfather threw away all of my books (including the children’s books that I loved and had deliberately kept), many keepsakes from my high school years and childhood, my television, and even some of my clothing. They thought I did not want this stuff because I had not taken it with me. They were wrong. I had not taken this stuff with me because I did not need it immediately and I thought it was safe at my mother’s home. Prior to their sudden decision to move, my mother and stepfather never complained about the presence of things that belonged to me in an unused bedroom in their home, so I thought nothing of it. Then they moved, and my stuff vanished. </p>
<p>My mother and stepfather could have (and I think should have) asked me what to do with all my possessions. There was an easy solution: I could have asked my biological father, who lived in a house with a big basement only 15 miles away from the house my mother and stepfather were moving out of, to store the stuff for me until I would be able to sort through it and get it out of his way. </p>
<p>I am still angry about this decades later.</p>
<p>My parents moved after my senior year of high school, and again after my 3rd year of college, for job-related reasons. At first, I knew no one in their new city but my family, and I did not want to move to where they lived… But, a couple of years after I graduated, I realized that it was a really great place, and my soon-to-be husband and I did not want to live too far from our parents (his live about 4 hours away), so we moved here and we have lived here happily for 30 years. So, it can work out if you are lucky!</p>
<p>Moved for job shortly before DS’s HS graduation. He joined me in summer and was able to use college’s facbook page to find a local student heading for the same school. I trhink he still prefers to spend time with ex-since his HS friends are there, too. I do not know how this is going to play out. </p>
<p>In retrospect, I might not have moved before hhe left for college. On the other hand, things got very bad in my field after I took this job and I meight still be unemployed. No decision is without plusses and minusses.</p>
<p>"For many people, moving where the job or career takes you is not a choice. "</p>
<p>Everything IS a choice. I think relocating after they are in college is much less destructive than moving them during high school. Those are precious years.</p>
<p>If your child is going to an instate U, be sure you know the ramifications of moving out of state. In some states, your child will no longer qualify for instate tuition, and the student is not able to establish residency on their own at that age “for educational purposes only.”</p>
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<p>Same here. I used to feel badly about having to move us so often, including during college years, until two of my college and post-college kids told me what Oldfort wrote in her first 2 sentences, practically verbatim.</p>
<p>We’re trying to relocate- H retired and we are tired of winter. Here, if someone graduates from a state HS while a state resident they keep their residency for college. Son messed up with grad school plans, is sticking around another year. He lives in his college town- apt- and visits us. The summer after freshman year in college was the last time he spent the most time with HS friends. Son was told of our plans to move years ago. HS friends drift apart as the years go by, and lives and experiences diverge. Had contemplated moving to the region of country son does, but scrapped those plans in favor of where we would like to be. Anyone want to buy a large house so we can downsize and move???</p>
<p>I suppose I could have made the choice to not move for a new job, remain where we were living, have my job eliminated (as it was within a year) and be unable to find work in my profession and thus unable to pay for my kids’ college. But that is not a choice I was willing to consider. Especially in this economy there are jobs/careers where the “choice” is move or become unemployed.</p>
<p>dadx3 describes the type of choice facing many families in our area. A similar choice: remain unemployed (and not be able to pay for your kid’s college) or move for employment. </p>
<p>If your kid is a high school senior and you can no longer count on your in-state public as your kid’s financial safety because the parents must move for employment, there is an added challenge in the college application process. If you don’t know where that new job will be, and your kid is not interested in LAC sized schools, it is even more challenging because much of what is left are public schools where your kid won’t qualify for in-state tuition.</p>