Republican to English Dictionary

College Confidential Community
1

<p>I found this on the internet. It is SO funny!</p>

<p>alternative energy sources /n./ New locations to drill for gas and oil.</p>

<p>bankruptcy /n./ A means of escaping debt available to corporations but not to poor people.</p>

<p>“burning bush” /n./ A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire about non-issues.</p>

<p>Cheney, Dick /n./ The greater of two evils.</p>

<p>class warfare /n./ Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.</p>

<p>climate change /n./ Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.</p>

<p>compassionate conservatism /n./ Poignant concern for the very wealthy.</p>

<p>creation science /n./ Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush’s resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.</p>

<p>faith /n./ The belief that the Beatitudes (statements made by Jesus) include, “Blessed are the rich” and “Blessed are the warmakers.”</p>

<p>free markets /n./ Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.</p>

<p>girly-men /n./ Males who neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women.</p>

<p>God /n./ A senior presidential adviser.</p>

<p>growth /n./ 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.</p>

<p>honesty /n./ Lies told in simple declarative sentences ( e.g., “Freedom is on the march.”).</p>

<p>insanity /n./ See: staying the course.</p>

<p>laziness /n./ When the poor are not working.</p>

<p>leisure time /n./ When the wealthy are not working.</p>

<p>liberal(s) /n./ Followers of the Antichrist.</p>

<p>No Child Left Behind /riff./ 1. There are always jobs in the military. 2. The rapture.</p>

<p>ownership society /n./ 1. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth. 2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners.</p>

<p>Patriot Act /n./ 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedom to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us.</p>

<p>pro-life /adj./ Valuing human life up until birth.</p>

<p>simplify /v./ To cut the taxes of Republican donors.</p>

<p>staying the course /interj./slang./ Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results (See: insanity).</p>

<p>stuff happens /interj./slang./ I don’t happen to live in Baghdad.</p>

<p>voter fraud /n./ A significant minority turnout.</p>

<p>woman /n./ 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can’t be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn’t want to have sex in the first place.</p>

<p>activist judge /n./ A judge whose ruling is contrary to The Party’s position.</p>

<p>support the troops /n./ Support the president.</p>

<p>family values (aka traditional values) /n./ Conservative Christian moralism.</p>

2

<p>Haha. I love it!</p>

3

<p>Typical liberal rubbish…simplify all issues being argued and distill them to a statement that envokes emotion therefore logical thought is thrown to the wind :)) It was pretty funny, though!</p>

4

<p>this “dictionary” is so true, so painfully true.</p>

5

<p>How do you get water out of your ears after diving from great heights? Seriously, this thing is bothering me.</p>

6

<p>I posted this somewhere once before, but here I go again…</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m/p/mpm265/election/chart.htm[/url]”>http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m/p/mpm265/election/chart.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

7

<p>we were for Kerry (meaning my family and I)…but…oh well</p>

8

<p>that means you have a high IQ, congrats</p>

9

<p>while on the subject, if ya haven’t been there, i strongly recommend </p>

<p><a href=“http://guitaro.ca/bushboards/[/url]”>http://guitaro.ca/bushboards/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>And listen to the Bush State of the Union Remix, 2003. I swear I have never laughed so hard in my life…even after hearing it so many times, when I listen to it now certain parts are just as funny. </p>

<p>THE BEST EVER</p>

10

<p>hahaha, “your enemy is not surrounding your country, it is ruling your country”</p>

11

<p>

</p>

<p>Come now. We can just attribute it to cultural and moral relativism, like all good liberals are wont to do.</p>

12

<p>I find it funnier that people post hoaxes as fact. Repeating something over and over again doesn’t make it true. Uhh, this thing.
<a href=“http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m...ction/chart.htm[/url]”>http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m...ction/chart.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

13

<p>Oh it’s true alright.</p>

14

<p>yeah, a 404 error usually doesn’t lie. good linking skillz, iloveagoodbrew.</p>

15

<p>See my post…#6…that’s what he’s trying to link</p>

16

<p>i hate to side with iloveagoodbrew, but the table was indeed verified to be false.</p>

<p>source: <a href=“http://www.economist.com/World/na/displayStory.cfm?story_id=2692859[/url]”>On the trail;

17

<p>asdfgh
zxcvb
qwerty</p>

18

<p>eh oh well, wishful thinking, i suppose</p>

19

<p><a href=“http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2005/11/generosity_inde.html[/url]”>http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2005/11/generosity_inde.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Red states give the most to charity.</p>

<p>“But democrats love to help the poor!!!”</p>

<p>Apparently not.</p>

20

<p>erm, that index is a pile of bs.</p>

<p>source: <a href=“http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1332064[/url]”>http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1332064&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;